


Style

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Chaptered, Coming Out, Depression, Ex Lovers, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Gay Sex, Great Depression, Jealous Harry, Jealous Louis, Love/Hate, M/M, Pining, Plot Twists, Popular Harry, Slow Build, Slow Dancing, Smut, Teen Romance, harry isn't all bad, i have to warn you this story is going to be quite long, little bit of Zouis - Freeform, not so innocent Louis, quick updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 03:52:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 63,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3676359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>au; harry is the new kid, who makes a bet with Zayn. </p><p>That was his first mistake.<br/>The second was falling in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> New fic. Hope you like it. I kind of like it. I dunno. Why did I even add notes. As usual Just tell me what you think of it and stuff you know.
> 
> (read: This is an abandoned fic)

Chapter One

"A+ Tomlinson. Remarkable. Amazing. Wonderful. It never ceases to amaze me how excellent you are. Meet me after class for a gold merit" Miss Kedge smiles at him and then as soon as she turns her greyish blue eyes towards Niall the smile vanishes. She's back to looking like the Miss Kedge that everyone knows.

Unsmiling. Stern. Strict. Bored. Just a few words to describe her. She is literally the walking definition of Negative.

"A C- Horan. Honestly at least try. " She sighs and Niall sits up hurriedly insisting that he actually did 'try'. Miss Kedge raises a sceptical eyebrow at him.

Louis doesn't think that this is particularly fair because Niall did try. Louis is always hyper aware of the way Niall's eyebrows furrow in an attempt to understand a particular question. And he only nudged Louis for only like 5 questions which was quite good compared to Josh who asked Louis for all of the answers and would kick his leg under the table when Louis  "didn't hear him".

Louis didn't know why the teachers always put him next to the 'Not as Capable' students it was obvious they would use Louis as their personal fucking answer booklet. Not that Louis ever said these things out loud. He wasn't brave enough.

As Miss Kedge continues down the row telling other students their grades Niall turns to look at Louis.

"Are you on steroids?" He asks and Louis is about to laugh but then he realises that Niall isn't joking.

"No Niall. I am absolutely not on steroids. Plus steroids doesn't make you smarter it just increases your adrenaline." Louis replies back all matter of factly because he absolutely loves stating facts and adjusting his little black glasses in a superior way.

"I only asked a question. Not for you to recite a fucking essay" Niall says.

"I merely said 19 words, Niall" Louis says.

"You're such a weirdo" Niall grumbles shifting his chair away from Louis trying to put some distance in-between the two of them.

Turns out its not much distance because when Louis moves to stretch his legs, his thigh brushes against Niall's who immediately flinches.

"Sorry" Louis mutters apologetically. Niall just sends him a dirty look before turning to chat with his friend Zayn.

Zayn smiles knowingly at Louis and Louis wishes right there and then that the ground would swallow him up. Him and Zayn had...had a little fun in the toilets shall we say. Zayn knew he was gay and Louis knew Zayn was gay. It was their little secret. It was the reason Zayn no longer joined in the the teasing against Louis. Because Louis had something against him.

It wasn't much. Just that one day Louis had decided to wear his really tight red jeans that showed of his humongous bum and then Zayn had stalked him into the toilets and then had stared at Louis hungrily and then the next minute they were kissing. That was Louis' first kiss.  Even though it wasn't with someone he loved it was still nice to say the least. Zayn hadn't wasted any time shoving his tounge into Louis' mouth and placing his hands on the boys arse.

They hadn't done much either. Zayn had demanded that Louis get down on his knees and suck him off. Louis had obliged. His first blow job as well. He didn't really know whether he was good or not but if Zayn's moans were anything to go by he was doing pretty well. He remembers chocking when Zayn had without warning cummed in his mouth. Louis may have swallowed some of it- it didn't taste particularly good.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't attracted to Zayn because how could he not. Zayn was absolutely beautiful. Probably would be a fucking model in a few years time. It's just that Louis didn't really like Zayn's personality. All confident and what not.

The bell rang and Louis breathed a sigh of relief. Niall got up and left with Zayn and everyone else left with their friends and then Louis spotted her standing by his desk a pretty smile on his face.

Jade Thirlwall. His best friend. She had on a cute bow on her reddish brown hair and was wearing eyeliner....hmm someone's experimenting with makeup. Her red checked shirt had the top button open because she always complained how top buttons "strangled her" and she was wearing denim shorts that weren't short enough for her to be considered Popular but she still looked really nice anyway. 

"Hey boobear" she coos grinning at Louis' sour expression.

"Stop calling me that, I swear Jade. I will actually go to your house and ask if you have any embarrassing nicknames" Louis says gathering up his things and dumping it into his very manly red rucksack.

"You're scared of my brother!" Jade says."Like, I remember that time when you changed the channel and he said change it back and you did it immediately for fear of what he would do to you"

"Well it doesn't exactly sound pleasant for him to cut off segments of my body and cut it into billions of tiny little pieces and then feed it to that God forsaken 3 legged dog that stray's your road" Louis says shuddering at the thought. That dog really did have it bad. But barking at 2am in the morning didn't exactly gain him pity.

"He was joking, Louis. A joke. "

"Well it certainly wasn't funny. "

"Yeah I know. He wants to be a comedian when he grows up and I told him that he shouldn't be surprised if if less than 15 people turn up and fall asleep within half an hour"

"He could tie them to their chairs and and electrocute them every time their eyes even as so much flutter " Louis jokes.

"He wants to be a comedian. Not a madman" Jade says and Louis chuckles.

"What did you get in your test?" Louis asks.

"A+" Jade shrugs as she gets that everyday (oh wait-she does) "I'm guessing you got the same "

"Naturally" Louis replies and they high five.

"Jade. Louis. I owe you some gold merits I believe?" Miss Kedge says from her desk and Louis almost forgot that she was there.

"Yeah you do miss" Jade says and they walk over to her. Both are roughly the same height and they've been asked endlessly whether they are in fact a couple to which they always reply No.

After handing over the gold stickers Miss Kedge smiles at them (smiles are reserved only for a+ students) "If only the whole class was as good as you two"

"If only" Louis agrees. Then they wouldn't fucking copy him in tests.

"Well I won't keep you from your lunch break. Have a nice day Tomlinson. Thirlwall" They've had Miss Kedge for around 4 years now and they still don't know why she loves to address them by their surnames. Ah the mysteries of life.

When they leave the room they see Liam stooped up against a wall, arms folded a bored expression on his face.

"Hey Liam" they smile at him and Liam smiles back "Took you long enough. You had a threesome with the teacher or something?"

Jade slaps his head but giggles. "Honestly the things you come up with"

"Can we head to the canteen? They have chips on Thursdays" Louis says.

So that's where they go. The canteen is -as always- filled to the brim with loud chatter and noises and pissed off looking dinner ladies who scrape the remaining's of unwanted food into the big grey bins nearby.

Just like the cliché high school this is no different. Every group has the table which the name as "theirs".

The popular kids have the smallest one which is smack bang in the middle of the room. They like to squash together and glance at people and throw their heads back and laugh and make the person that they are talking about feel bad. Like when Louis had started wearing glasses and Taylor had tried them on and said how ugly they were and that he must've gotten it from Specsavers. Which was wrong because Louis had gotten them from his local opticians down the road.

Not that he said that of course.

Also like any cliché high school story there was a popular girl and boy. Taylor was the popular girl that was for sure. And Josh , her friend, was the boy.

Perrie, Leigh Anne and Eleanor sat on her left. They mainly looked in mirrors and cried when they had so much as a tiny insignificant spot on their perfect little faces. The most obnoxious was definitely Eleanor who yes was pretty but just so full of herself. All she cared about was keeping her weight down. She was very slim and it was slowly changing into skinny. At lunch time all she would eat was a measly salad with grapes or something.

Zayn and Niall sat by Josh's side. It looked quite uneven. More girls than boys. But that was whatever.

They joined the long queue for the fish and chips and when they were served they sat at a table in the corner. It was secluded. It was safe. Kindaa..

Louis made the mistake of not tucking his bag under the table and it cost him dearly when Taylor walked past in her sort of high heels and tripped. It wouldn't have been noticeable if she didn't happen to be holding her tray with unfinished food.

Taylor went flying. The tray and its contents went flying. Louis cringed.

"You FREAK!!" She screeched and was actually getting up to hit him but Zayn stops her.

"He's not worth it. " he says and the anger in Taylor's eyes dies down a bit. She instead picks up a glass of water and pours that on Louis instead and to be frank Louis would've preferred the slap or whatever she was going to do to him because Fuck his hair.

The rest of the gang walks by, Eleanor simply holding her nose as she walks past as if HE'S the one that smells. (her perfume is overwhelming)

Perrie hangs back though handing Louis a tissue and then she's gone.

Fucks sake.

***

Louis heads straight home after school not wanting to hang around long after that stupid incident earlier.

Unfortunately he's on his own for journeys home as Jade and Liam head home the other way (a shame really)

There are some other people that walk his way but...but he doesn't really know them. Truth be told he's only got Jade and Liam in this school. That's all he really needs to be honest. He'd rather have only two friends that will stick with him through thick and thin than 50+ friends who were all fake.

He walks , the only sound is his feet hitting the pavement in a steady rhythm. When he turns into his neighborhood he notices that the moving van that was there in the morning was now gone.

His mum did say that they had new neighbours. Well.

He spots a girl sitting on the grass outside legs crossed hands fiddling with some flowers. He notices that there's some tucked in her brown wavy hair , the tips are dyed brown. Her skin is quite pale yet so soft looking. She looks around 18 years old or something like that though.

Louis doesn't know why he's paying so much attention to this girl but he just is. She finally looks up and smiles at him. A genuine one laced with excitement. But why would she be excited? He's just an average looking (at home he'll pretend that he's this sexy human being with Strong thighs and a Toned bum) boy who's hair looks absolutely..well disgusting.

"Civilization!" The girl claims. She places the flower she was previously holding and drops it on the floor. Her voice is smooth like chocolate and she when she stands up Louis realises that she's taller than him and sigh..

"Huh?" He wonders.

"You're the first human being apart from my mum and my brother that I've seen around here. Honestly I thought there'd been a zombie apocalypse or something."

Louis just blinks at her. They're strangers yet she's talking to him as if they're anything but. Not that he's complaining. It's just different.

"Well people were at school" he says.

"Oh I know. It's just that its nearly five and we got here in the morning at around 7 and we've had to entertain ourselves with the shitty Freeview channels that we've been given " the swearing kind of goes against the beautiful flowers in her hair takes away the innocence that Louis thought was there.

"Hey. Don't rule Freeview out completely it does have the basics. Plus when it's raining it never freezes unlike with Sky. I have to bang the bloody thing until it gets back to normal" he says. Then: "I'm Louis" because why not.

"Gemma" the girl replies. "And yeah I guess you're right. "

"Would you be offended if I asked why you're just sitting there playing with..flowers of all things" Louis says.

"No of course I'm not offended. I just wanted to make a daisy chain. I used to do it when I was younger." She explains.

There's a bit of silence for a while. Not silence that Louis usually suffers the ones that feel like they're suffocating him. This one is comfortable and he wouldn't mind laying in this kind of silence.

"Mind telling me whereabouts you live...i hope that doesn't sound creepy" she says a small smile on her face.

"It kinda does. But you'll know anyway. I'm your neighbour" he says.

"That's awesome. Our family is really neighborly. We were like that back in Holmes Chapel. Well everyone was"

"It's nothing like that here. Everyone tends to keep to themselves. Mind their own business sorta thing. Like if I forgot my key or something I'd just wait outside cause I'm not that close to neighbours" Louis explains.

"Sounds...awful. I can't wait to go to school tomorrow and meet new people and what not. "

Well that was new. Louis had never met anyone -apart from Liam and Jade- that were actually looking forward to going to the bleak walls and strict teachers that was called school. Louis smiles at her.

"Well it was nice talkin to ya Louis. See ya around" Gemma says and then turns to rush back into a house that was pretty much identical to Louis'. Except Louis didn't live there.

But helloo Louis might have just made a friend. Yes she looked older than him but still a friend to walk home with nevertheless.

Yay.

When he enters his own house he's welcomed with the loud shouts, smell of food and all his sisters bringing him in for a hug. Even though its merely been 7 hours. It's nice though it makes him feel loved. 

"You took so long, Louis" Phoebe mutters, "I thought something terrible had happened" Louis hugs her tighter. "Nothing bad will happen to me" he replies.

"We baked bread at school!" Phoebe announces.

"Oh really? Could I try some?" Louis asks politely.

"Well actually.." A voice says from the doorway and Louis looks up to see Phoebe's twin sister Daisy. "I may have eaten it all"

"Daisy! I told you I was saving it for Louis! Ughh" Phoebe stomps her feet running with her tiny legs to her room a frantic Daisy just behind her.

Louis smiles at them absentmindedly. He really loves them to bits.

***  
The next day of school really isn't different. Well not really. Not until geography. Louis walks in as usual with Liam (Jade has history) and they head to their respective seats but are caught up by the new seating plan on the board.

Fucking seating plans. Louis was doing just fine where he was next to Liam and a soft girl named Jane who would barely mutter two words -but whatever more reason to chat with Liam.

Louis searched for his name amongst the others. He noticed that Liam was next to Eleanor (poor guy) but did not dwell on that for too long.

[Louis Tomlinson-Harry Styles]

Um okay. Who the fuck is Harry Styles.

When Louis turns to his new seat-at the bloody back of the classroom where nobody ever learns and people snog shamelessly or whip out their phones but mainly bloody talk- he sees well no one. Maybe this Harry person isn't in. Good. Louis always hated the window seat anyway. He walks over gets out the typical pink geography book , his pencil case, his planner and his fully filled water bottle. He is prepared. While everyone talks as the last students enter Louis simply stands trying not to seem to bored. Well he is bored. Why cant people come on time! They were wasting precious minutes in which Louis could have been learning about glaciers and the Amazon and other geographical stuff.

Then the door swings open -well it has been for the last 5 minutes - but now its louder than usual. As if the door was swung open like that on purpose. It got everyone's attention.

In entered a boy with curly brown hair and from what Louis could see..jade green eyes. He was wearing a black shirt with black jeans and he was just one of those students that obvious screamed -"I don't give a shit"- Just great.

A few girls raised their shaped eyebrows at him.  Some boys eyed him up and down probably proclaiming whether he was worthy of being popular or some shit like that. Louis simply stared.

"Sorry I'm late, miss" he apologizes. His voice is quite deep total opposite of his angelic looks.

"It's alright. Are you the new kid, then? Harry something?" The teacher asks.

"Styles. Yeah that's me. "

"Well go and have a seat your next to..ahh what a delight. You should count yourself lucky to sit next to Louis. He's a very good influence" the whole class groans while Louis can only smile at the praise.

The boy walks over, slowly. Lazily even. As if he knows everyone was staring at him. Harry boy doesn't smile at him instead putting his bag down roughly and all Louis can do is stare. Once again. Because is that a peak of tattoos he sees?

Geography passes quickly and Louis is just thankful that they don't have to do any partner work. Harry hums a lot and Louis finds it quite irritatingly distracting. Its even more irritating when he realises that he actually knows what song he's singing.

("Your Song" Elton John)

He fights the urge to join in though and when he's finished all of his work he stares aimlessly out of the window. Far far away. Sometimes Louis wished he lived in a land far far away. Wherever that was. The thought was interesting enough to last him the whole lesson though and as soon as the bell rang he was up on his feet and walking towards Liam.

"How was the new boy , then?" Liam asks.

"I wouldn't know any better" Louis shrugs "We didn't talk. Seems a bit Josh-ish to be honest. Not up my street. "

When school finishes Louis finds himself searching for Gemma. For the lovely green eyes that she possess - not the ones he saw in geography - maybe even to hear the soft purr of her voice. It makes him feel...nice.

He doesn't see her though. Ah well it is what it is.

Maybe tomorrow.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry pov

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys. Thanks so much for the kudos and comments you made me so happy YAY! So because of that here's another chapter and I hope you like it so yeahh.

Chapter Two

Harry stares at the ceiling waiting. Waiting for the girl next to him to eventually wake up and get the fuck out of his bed. Yes the night before had been..well nice to say the least but now it was definitely time for her to leave.

He blamed Nick , his cousin, for introducing him to all these clingy attention seeking type of girls. Yeah Harry knew how to woo them enough to get into bed with them but then after that they expected him to ..to cook them breakfast or some shit like that.

Every time Gemma saw a new girl following Harry up to the bleak four walls of his room she simply shook her head and said something about him being Incorrigible.

Well incorrigible indeed. The sex was good on both of their parts anyway. It was purely pleasure. No feelings attached sorta thing so then of course the girl always has to get and get attached.

That was definitely one of the annoying things about women. Attached, attention seeking, clingy type of things that only really shut their mouths and obeyed in bed. It was a harsh thing to think but it was the truth.

It was a weekend. Harry never got laid during school days. Too complicated. He turned slowly towards the girl, dark brown hair fanning nicely over a pretty heart shaped face. Her arms tugged over her body in an attempt to hug herself after Harry had pushed her away at some point during the course of the night. He noticed that she was still naked.

Round two? No he's joking. His dick is pretty soft anyway. It was only around 10am but Harry had a party to attend. Nick's to be specific. They were held every weekend when his parents were away on business trips or places that rich wealthy people go. Because Nick was wealthy. Very wealthy indeed. And he wasn't shy about it, the same way he wasn't shy about his sexuality.

Nick was very openly, very proudly gay.  But Harry wasn't really sure if gay guys wore pink thongs or not because that's what Nick wore. Maybe it was a kink. Nick had tried it on with Harry- only once when he was absolutely PISSED and must have mistaken Harry for an enticing curly haired human- Harry had found it amusing to be honest. The way Nick had flirted was so effortless and it seemed natural to the guy. The way he leaned in to whisper something even though they could hear each other perfectly. Or how he would just place a hand on someone's back or thigh or literally anywhere his hand could reach. Which was everywhere really.

He felt the girl- all he remembers is that it begins with a very significant K and sounds something like 'Ken doll'. He remembers saying the name though. He knows it was a really nice name. But anyways he felt the girl stir, hands reaching out to grab something. Preferably a person. Most likely Harry.

Harry shifts back just really wanting this girl to go. Her eyes open slowly and she yawns and woah morning breath. Well Harry's breath was really bad as well so who was he to talk.

"Robin?" She mutters and what? Oh yeah. Another thing. Harry tells all his fucks a fake name. You know for identification reasons and all that. In case he falls into bed with a right nutter who will spend the rest of her existence looking for him.

Still though. He could have chosen a better name then Robin. The alcohol had probably made him say it. He remembers being intoxicated and his eyes were dropping all the while swaying to the quiet hum(well actually loud) of music.

Doncaster has some good clubs he'll admit that. It just seems a bit...isolated. Even though there's more people that live here than back in Holmes Chapel. School was essentially a bore for Harry. They all seemed to stare at him with "intrest" and he had absolutely no idea how to deal with that. It kind of made him feel surrounded but that's whatever.

He had been approached by a blonde girl-Taylor(not really hard to forget that one)- who seems to have a thing for red lipstick and short skirts. Harry isn't oblivious to the world. He knows she's popular and superior and she's also the head cheerleader so there that as well. He also knows that she is most probably into him. Oh aren't they all. He can definitely tell by the way she'll flutter her eyelashes or allow their legs to brush under table. She talks to him. A lot. Its enough to label him as popular. He doesn't know what he was expecting but yeah they really do rule the bloody school.

He also knows that Josh likes Taylor. Its obvious by the way his gaze softens when it lands on her. It's also obvious that Josh doesn't really like Harry. Well obvious to everyone but Taylor - dumb blonde thing probably - but that's okay because Harry doesn't really like him either.

He kind of "gets" Zayn the most though. Harry is definitely not blind and can see that Zayn is very..aesthetically pleasing shall we say. He even wondered about introducing him to Nick but nah he's not even sure if Zayn is gay. But he doesn't really seem that interested in girls either.

But all this is whatever. That's school life. This is his social life. Its the fucking weekend.

"Yes?" He answers voice so gravely and deep and slow that he can barely hear himself. In other words - his morning voice.

"You're here" she sighs again a small smile creeping up on her face. And oh no. Hope. "Nick told me you're a player and all that but I knew it wasn't true. Cause you're still here with me" she attempts to snuggle closer but Harry isn't having this kind of shit.

He scoots back his green eyes meeting the girls (Ken doll...Kendoll..Kendall? Is that her name. He won't give up. He can't keep calling her "girl") brown hurt ones.

"I actually need to go" he blurts and what? Since when does Harry "blurt" things.

"Oh really. Where?"

Think fast. Think fast. Fast. Running. Grass. Animals.  Grass. Green. Chew. Legs. Horse. Horse? Horse riding!

"Got horse riding lesson in around half an hour" he lies. Smooth. No hesitation. It's believable. He's pretty sure its believable.

"Cool. Never knew you were into animals. So are you like one of them horse whisperers or something?"

"What?" At what point did my mouth utter the words 'horse whisperer'" Harry says a little shocked.

"No I was just kind of asking. But anyway Rob I'm sure you could just miss this one lesson" her index finger trails down his chest and rests on 1/4 of his nipples. She was giving his fake name a nickname. Okay. Thats cool? Last night this would've felt good. Last night when he was intoxicated and under the influence of alcohol he would be kissing her by now hands cupping her boobs. That was last night.

"No I'm on stage 5 and stage 5 is really important" did they even have stages in riding? Harry didn't even know.

"Oh okay. That's cool. Wish you the best of luck. Do you want to exchange phone numbers so you can tell me how it went and maybe other stuff"

No.

But instead: "I don't actually have a phone "

"Oh. Well I suppose I'll see you at one of Nick's crazy parties then. I heard that there's one today are you coming?"

Yes.

But instead: "No. After the lesson I've got to babysit my niece" well done you. Harry didn't even know when he became an expert at this. At lying.

"You're such a good person, Robin" Harry manages not to snort at that "I really hope I see you around" she gives him a quick peck on the cheek before putting on the clothes she had on yesterday. She was going to look weird wearing it at this time but he didn't really care.

He wouldn't admit it but maybe he was experiencing a little guilt in that moment. He went to one of his drawers where he had stashed the 40 quid. It looked stupid now. He had only done it because she had, had like 50 tenners in her bag so surely she won't notice that four are missing.

She blows him a last -meaningless - kiss before grinning and walking out of his room.  She had a good body.

He smiles at her departure opening his curtains wide and letting a little bit of light into the depressing-smelling of sweat and sex - dark room. The smile is wiped off his face as he catches a boy looking at him from the window opposite. Damn the people that built these houses.

It looks wrong. Here he is shirtless, tattoos exposed, curly hair tangled and boxers covering half of his legs. Only half though.

Why does he recognize this boy from somewhere?

Brown feathery hair and as the sun catches it- his blue eyes glow and you can just about see them through his glasses. They're black and look professional and look maybe a bit too mature. Orange shirt and grey jeans and Harry sees the boys eyes widen a bit- no shit (a lot)- so he pulls his hands back to his sides a tad- just a tad- self conscious.

Okay he knows now. Geography boy and if Harry was paying enough attention he'd probably know the boys name.

Recovering Harry turns around intent on walking to his bathroom to take a well deserved shower and then brush his teeth before cleansing -spots are the enemy- and then looking from decent clothes that look nice but not too nice. Clothes that look nice enough to alert anyone that he's up for grabs today.

Today is white shirt and black jeans day he decides after an hour. Then he ruffles his hair up so that it looks like he just woke up but in a sexy kind of way.

"I woke up like this" he laughs to himself admiring his dimples for a second before heading downstairs.

Gemma's there sitting on one of the coloured chairs, one hand clutching some girly magazine the other reaching for an apple off of the table. Harry gets it first because fuck it "An apple a day keeps the doctor away"

Gemma scowls at him as her fingers grasp thin air. Then her eyes rake up and down and Harry waits for the verdict. Because Gemma's verdict means a lot to him.

"You look..fuckable" she finally says.

"Fuckable? Don't you mean I look like I'm good at fucking or something. Cuz calling me fuckable implies that I look like I need to be fucked. And that's like..gay. "

"There's nothing wrong with being gay" Gemma says.

"I know. I never said that. I just don't want to look gay, you know. I want to look manly and all" Harry says.

"And you do" she taps his shoulder encouragingly before returning back to her magazine.

Well he's not exactly convinced but nevertheless he's off.

***

The party is so Nick. That's like the only way to actually describe it.

A shitload of people. Not enough drinks which then leads to people sharing bottles which then leads to kissing and..well you know the rest.

Nick knows all the tricks it literally surprises Harry each time.

Harry gets there late which results him in sharing with a guy with red lips. He's not wearing lipstick or anything his lips are just naturally like that. Red lips and blonde hair - all in all a boy version of Taylor - not as stupid though. A bit more nice as well.

The guy -Anthony - is going on and on about his failing marriage. It should surprise Harry that Nick knows people that are like twice (sometimes thrice) their age but it doesn't because Nick knows all sorts of people to be honest. Children (no pedo) and adults and the elderly. He knew clowns and low key singers(the ones you see with a guitar on the streets) and car drivers and widows and dancers and chefs and divorced people and the transgendered and basically anyone really.

"I think I know why we're drifting apart" Antony says.

Harry sighs a sigh of relief because finally he's gotten to the bloody point. "Why?" He asks hoping his voice sounds interested.

"I think I might be gay" Harry doesn't know why at that moment some stupid fool decided to stop the loud thumping music just before Antony gets the sentence out. So basically everyone hears Anthony and for some reason half of them turn to look at Harry.

  
Nick comes in a jolly smile on his face looking genuinely happy "I'm gone for like a minute and the party literally stops!" Some people laugh, others role their eyes fondly. Harry does both.

Then everything goes back to normal and the music feels the void of emptiness.

Someone's next to Antony now..comforting him and Harry is thankful. Now he just has to hope that he doesn't run into Kendall -he's pretty sure that's the name.

Nick sends a grin his way before walking away to do whatever.

A few hours later and he's sitting on one of Nick's many couches not really doing anything in particular. He's staring around him. All his senses are active.  He's quite hungry though. Nick will usually leave some sandwiches out but they seem to have all been gobbled up.

He sighs. So this the lame cycle his life has become. Party. Fuck. Sleep. Repeat. How did his life get so boring? He's getting a tincy wincy headache now. The couch seems a nice place to lie down so that's exactly what he does.

Sleep overtaking him

***  
School is same old same old for Harry. The lessons are boring and Harry literally doesn't pay attention.

It's now lunch time and there they are squashed on that little table of theirs- even more squashed since Harry had joined.

"So guys I'm having a party this weekend" Perrie says after a while.

Harry just went to a party a few days ago.  
But you know this was like a school party. A party with, you know school friends. It was going to be different. Harry might actually know all the people that attend.

"Are you going, Harry?" Taylor asks him. Again that leg slowly rubbing against his. He didn't say anything just tries to really ignore it. If you ignore something it'll go away right?

"Yeah probably. Don't really have stuff to do on weekends anyway " Harry shrugs and Taylor smiles while Josh glares.

Being popular for Harry is basically the same as being not popular. Yeah people are 'Scared' of you but he doesn't really get that. People are supposed to hate you..right? They're meant to hate you.

"Good at sports, Styles?" Josh hisses from his quiet spot next to Taylor. He hasn't really talked today.

"Yeah I think so" Harry says. He's never really played any type of sport. Always channeled his aggression into other things.

"Want to try out for the football team then?"

"Okay sure. When is it" Harry answers casually because he kinda feels like Josh is competing against him. Like whoever is better can get Taylor kind of shit. Like a bloody love triangle. Josh likes Taylor. Taylor likes Harry. And Harry..Harry likes sex.

"Next week" Josh says. Harry gives a nod. One nod and that's the conversation done between them.

Football, eh. Shouldn't be too hard. Actually all its only kicking a rubbish ball around you got this Harry. You got this.

"Who are you inviting?" Leigh Anne asks. Harry doesn't really talk to her. The girl always seems in her own world most of the time. She's pretty enough though. In fact glancing around you kinda had to look a certain way to be sitting here.

"Oh you know, the usual. You lot, obviously. The rich kids who don't mind sneaking in beers. Some emo people with huge stereo's. " Perrie shrugs. "But actually I kind of want to mix it up a bit. Invite like people I wouldn't usually invite. Louis for example"

Taylor spits out the coke she had just taken a sip of. Attractive. Not.

"You mean that weird smart kid on steroids?" Niall wonders.

Steroids?

"He's not on steroids Niall but yeah him. And his friends. And other people like that" Perrie nods.

"But why?" Eleanor asks.

"Why not?" Perrie shoots back.

"But like do they even know what a party is?" Taylor says.

"No shit Sherlock. I'm pretty sure they know the definition of what a party is" Harry says.

They all send him a weird look before Taylor sends him a smile "You're right.I should have thought of that"

Right.

"It will be...fine. It might even boost our popularity even more-if that's even like possible. Like seeing all these smart kids get drunk and wasted" Perrie says.

"True that" Niall agrees.

"Alright so its sorted" Perrie concludes. The rest of lunch passes with the group making snide remarks at other students.

For example - a girl who had taken off her extensions showing off her real hair which was quite short and Leigh Anne had gone "I don't like your hair " and then they had all laughed. Harry didn't. He didn't get that. What was the point of bringing others down? What did they gain from it?

***

Harry walked home that day hands in pockets posture slouched rucksack perched on his back. Gemma was in sixth form and they had gone home earlier today. Harry didn't mind though. Walking home by himself and all that. It gave him a chance to think.

Well not really. He hated being by himself yet he pushed anyone who came too close away.

He was almost at his front door when he saw two identical looking girls, one looked grumpy and the other a bit sad.

"I told you he's not very good at this game " one of them says. This ones slight taller and has slightly longer hair.

"Well lets go home then..but he might be worried about us" the shorter one says.

"Phoebe! Daisy!"

"Louis!"

The two girls eyes lit up as a very familiar figure walked towards them. 

"Told you I'd find you two"

"Yeah but it took you ages"

Why is Harry still here again?

So he walks to his own door brings out his silver key and then unlocks the door basking in the smell of home.

He greets his mum by pressing a kiss on her cheek and offers to help him with the pasta but she shakes her head saying that their neighbours are coming over so he should go look presentable.

"Don't I look presentable now, mum?" He had challenged.

"Not with that shirt you don't. Go put on a jumper or something people around here seem to be funny about tattoos " Anne had replied shooing him away.

Harry was never really one to cover up. But even so he pulled on a black jumper and changed his jeans to trackies just to be sure.

Gemma was in her room playing loud music and doing "homework".

"Hey Gem can you turn it down?!"

"Why should I?"

"I'm tryna wank" he grins as her expression changes from bored to disgusted.

She throws her flowery pillow at him telling him to get out.

"I'm keeping this you know" he says.

"Whatever just..don't use that kind of language around me..like ever" Gemma says.

"So how's school?" Harry asks sitting down on the edge of Gemma's bed.

"It's fine. I've got friends and all that so nothing else really matters. You are certainly very popular, though" Gemma says.

"Me? Really? What have I done?"

"They say that you're mysterious and shit like that. The mystery boy with curly hair. When I said that you're my brother my popularity when up quick so there's that"

"Glad I could help" Harry says sarcastically. "By the way our neighbours are coming over."

"Oh great. I'll meet Louis again"

"Mind telling me who that is?"

"You need to trust me father" Gemma mocks.

"But Gemma I do trust you. It's the other men I don't trust" Harry says and then they both burst out laughing.

"Why do you laugh like that, Harry? You bloody hyena" Gemma teases.

"Shut up you love my laugh. I'm irresistible"

"Harry you know you could catch something from all these girls that you're bringing home" Gemma says seriously.

"I always wear a condom, though"

"Yeah but sometimes that might not be enough. You might even knock a girl up or something. I'm just saying you should be careful. Why can't you be like other boys you're age and wank in the shower or while your watching porn or something"

"I don't need to watch porn. That's for people who are too cowardly to do the actual deed. But since you're so worried I'll try and slow it down. For you OK? "

"I feel so honoured" Gemma smiles.

"Now can you get out. I need to get ready. "

"Huh? What's wrong with what you're wearing right now?" Harry says gesturing to her white vest and black jeggings.

"Its too casual"

"Well you're at home. It doesn't matter. They're literally coming round for dinner and that's it"

"I just need to wear jeans or something. Louis is a nice guy so..."

"Is this about this Louis person?" Name sounds familiar "You like him or something?'

"No. I just..just go Harry. I need to get ready"

So Harry leaves totally not understanding   Gemma's need to change when she looked perfectly fine. Women these days. 

He spent the next hour or something on whatsapp-they had all exchanged numbers- chatting to his friends. They mainly went over the details of the party and so and so. Perrie texted him her address. The area seemed quite posh. Maybe Perrie was quite posh.

He took a selfie of him grinning lazily and then put it as his profile picture. He know it looked nice. Taylor sent him a text that he was just so handsome and Harry might have blushed a little. But he'd never admit that. Like never.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave feedback. Positive or Negative I love to know what you're thoughts are. Also the plot really starts after this chapter.


	3. 3

Chapter Three

"Are you coming then??" Lottie had asked.

Louis looked up a bit confused as to what they were discussing. "What?"

"You know, to visit our neighbours" she says rolling her eyes.

"Actually I have quite a lot of homework and revision to do so not today " Louis replies.

"Okay then. See ya later" Lottie says and its as she's about to close the door that Louis clocks what his 14 year old sister was wearing. A short red skirt with a tight shirt making her boobs more exaggerated.

Whoa. "Stop.  Wait a minute" he says. "Are you going to a club or something? Jesus Christ Lottie why on earth are you dressing like ..like a prostitute!"

"These are normal clothes, Louis. Everyone wears them. Plus Harry Styles lives next door. So many girls envy me because I get to live next to the hottest guy in school. "

Hottest guy in school eh?

Harry Styles lives next door. So Gemma Styles was the sister right?

"You do realise that he's 16..like me. You're merely a child to him" Louis says.

"Oh go away. Besides he smiled at me at break today"

"Wow he smiled at you! You're practically Soulmates!" Louis grunts sarcastically. 

Lottie doesn't seem to notice though. She simply beams before leaving the room. What the fuck was this?

Harry literally had every female in the palm of his hand. Even teachers. They all adored him. They loved the way he spoke, the way he looked, the way he dressed, the way he blinked, the way he walked, the way he smiled, the way he breathed..Louis was sure they would even love the way he farted. They were so gone. Even his sisters. It was ridiculous.

Louis found him..interesting. Like a nice looking butterfly that you watch from afar. Just watching-not creepily. He didn't know what to think of the way Harry was popular yet was never really rude to anyone. Like he was just basically friends with everyone. He charmed everyone. It was like impossible to hate him.

Yet Louis found him.. Irritating. Him and his stupid curly hair that he didn't deserve. His stupid dimples and his stupid eyes.

In geography Louis never uttered a word to him. It annoyed him the way Harry didn't really seem bothered by the fact that Louis never talked to him. So instead he talked to everyone else, getting told off and then apologizing with a small smile on his face and he'd be forgiven instantly.

He was loveable. It was annoying.

But Harry was literally the last thing Louis should be worrying about. Zayn was more of a problem.

It was on a Tuesday afternoon, after school in the library and Louis had been looking for an interesting book- you know, the ones that you can fall asleep to- he was in the romance section (Louis was a sucker for love stories) and then two strong arms had grasped him from behind. They wrapped around his waist pulling him back into the person behind him. Louis didn't have to look to know that it was Zayn. He just knew.

Zayn had started pressing soft ghostly kisses on the side of Louis' neck while his hands made the slow, teasing decent towards Louis' crotch area.

"Zayn stop" he had said his voice barely being heard over Zayn's harsh breathing.

"Don't act like you don't like it" Zayn had hissed and Louis had shut up. Cause he did. He did like it. Well how could he not? He was gay and here was a beautiful boy kissing his neck oh so softly. Of course he fucking liked it. He just didn't like Zayn.

Louis should have just pushed him off but he didn't because he really liked it and truth be told it was kinda hot. Zayn's swift fingers made quick work of undoing the zipper of Louis' jeans.

Zayn then used a hand to cup his balls and the other to push a hand into Louis' boxers.

Fuck.

Louis really did try to hold his moan in he really did. But..it was absolutely too good as Zayn's hand grasped Louis' member and whispered in his ear "You're so fucking hot" and Louis might have cum right there and then. He didn't though. Instead he let out a loud needy moan and felt Zayn chuckle.

They could get caught. What they were doing was wrong and weird and in a public library for God's Sake. If they did that would be Louis' reputation gone. Ruined.

As Zayn started to work his hand up and down Louis' now throbbing dick Louis closed his eyes because this was pure bliss.

Bliss. As Zayn whispered sweet nothings into Louis' ear , Louis knew he didn't mean any of it yet it was still nice to hear. He had to focus on not groaning too loud. 

Zayn then spun him around and got down on his knees in front of him. Quick as a wink Zayn's mouth was swallowing Louis, taking him as deep as he could. It wasn't really Louis' fault when he started spurting cum a few seconds later. He watched as Zayn licked it all up making sure none got on the dull carpet of the library.

With a last grin Zayn ambled away looking pleased with himself leaving Louis with jeans at his ankles and looking like a freshly blown mess.

Fuck his life.

***

"What!" Louis says. Because there was absolutely no way that this was true. Absolutely no fucking way.

"I'm serious, Louis" Jade says nodding her head. "She came up to me in second period and asked if we wanted to go"

"Well I say fuck that. It's probably some kind of set up or something. " Liam says chewing angrily into his ham sandwich. "There's no way they would genuinely invite us"

Jade shrugs "Well she seemed pretty nice when she was asking me. I dunno maybe we should go. I've never been to a high school party before"

"None of us have. " Louis says "Lets think about this logically. When Perrie asked you what was her body language like?"

Because its all about analyzing. All about the body language. The facial expression. The eyes. They say the eyes are the window to your soul. Louis lives off that saying.

"Like the way she usually stands I guess. A hand on her hip one of her knees bent. She looked genuine when asking so maybe we should give them the benefit of the doubt"

"Why should we give someone who has been rude to us for God knows how many years the benefit of the doubt."

"Well technically Perrie has never actually been rude to us"

"But she's still friends with them" Louis spits.

"Well I think it'll be fun" Jade says stubbornly.

"I don't" Louis says.

"Okay then I'll just go by myself. I don't mind. Don't care really" Jade says, she looks a bit pissed off though. It's the first time they've argued.

It doesn't feel nice.

He hears a loud laugh and then turns around to face Taylor and her cronies.

They're all staring at him. Louis doesn't really like too much attention. Makes him feel uncomfortable.

Perrie offers him a little smile. It does look genuine. But like why?

Why only now after all these years. Even Eleanor doesn't look so irritated at the sight of him.

Well.

Louis sorta smiles back..well at least he thinks he does, it actually looks like a grimace. Time kind of stops as the two arch enemies stare at each other.

Maybe he might think twice about this party after all. But keep your guard up. Always. These people could destroy you even with their pleasing smiles.

Taylor called him a freak last week. He needs to remember that.

"I'm sorry Jade. I really am. I'll go with you. Just me and you, yeah?" Louis says.

"And what am I chopped liver or something?" What about me?" Liam asks pouting.

"Yup. You're chopped liver, Liam. I'll  save you your misery and and throw you in the bin, yeah?"

"Oh bog off Tommo!" Liam says throwing a neatly cut cucumber at Louis. If anything he was just making Louis healthier as the boy had caught it in his mouth. 

"Failed attempt" Louis sneers. They all burst out laughing and just like that any sign of tension is gone. He hears the rush of the canteen fill his ears and he smiles at his friends for no particular valid reason.

Just because.

***

The weekend came quickly. Not that Louis was complaining, he was pretty much prepared for it.

Sorta.

He was round at Jade's house sitting in her living room watching reruns of Friends when Dickinson, Jade's brother, came in.

The name made him sound like a wimp. In reality he was anything but. Dickinson was in his early twenties, lived at university came to visit on weekends. He was muscular with long hair that he never really wanted to cut and had a beard. It was a very scruffy and Jade teased him endlessly about it and then he would turn to Louis and ask him what he thought of it to which Louis would reply "I love it. Really manly"

Dickinson had (what Louis thought was scary) grey eyes that were very not pleasant to look into.

So anyway Dickinson (how about we call him Dick from now on) came in with a huge grey jumper and black jeans that were frayed at the knees (a type of style, Louis supposed) and his hair had grown a bit more since the last time the two had encountered. It reached his shoulders now.

"Hey Lewis" he said. Yeah another thing, he could never pronounce Louis' name correctly. LIKE FOR FUCKS SAKE ITS LOUIS. Louis answered a measly yes feeling the sofa sink as it occupied Dick's weight.

"So you going to a wedding or something..you're looking quite dapper"

"Um no I'm going to a party" Louis answers because couldn't he tell?

"A party? As in a school party?"

"..Yes" Louis says suspiciously. Honestly Dick was so thick- pun intended - obviously Louis was going to a party. Louis glanced down at his navy blue suit with polished black shoes. He was going to be the bell of the ball.

Dick started laughing at that moment. Loud and clear the noise traveled around the living room like liquid making Louis feel uncomfortable. Why couldn't Jade hurry up!?

"Mate. Come with me I'll get you some clothes"

"But..what's wrong with what I'm wearing..?" Louis protested.

"Everything " and then he grabbed Louis pulling him upstairs to his room. It was absolutely huge compared to Jade's tiny box one. The walls were black and white providing a calm yet sort of haunting atmosphere. Pictures of Led Zeppelin and The Beatles covered the walls. Louis also notices quite a lot of porn magazines on his table and cringed a bit at the picture of a shirtless girl.

"Nice room" he croaked out.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm sure I've got something your size here. Hey, try on this" Dick threw him a grey t-shirt paired with some white jeans. Louis glanced at them wearily. They just looked so casual.

"Put them on then"

"In front of you?"

Louis had always been self conscious about his body.

"Well yeah. What's the problem? We've both got the same bits and bobs" Dick says rolling his eyes.

Bits and bobs. That's a horrible way to say it.

Louis removes his blazer carefully with precision - cost 100 quid thank you very much- followed by his shirt and his trousers. He then pulls on the shirt noticing a bit how his tummy sticks out and then the jeans which are tight in a comfortable way and he just knows that his bum looks big in it.

"Now for shoes. Remove them ones. Lol look at your tiny feet " Dick scoffs.

Well it was better than when Jade had called them petit. Only marginally though.

"What size are you?"

"Four" he replies.

"Good thing I kept some shoes from when I was in year seven. " Louis gets thrown a pair of black trainers at him . They fit. He feels like Cinderella except he doesn't have his prince charming.

"Thanks" Louis says.

"No problem. Don't want you embarrassing my sister. I'll put your stuff in a bag for you. "

Embarrassing my sister.

Louis wasn't embarrassing her. But he didn't say that.

He leaves the room then with a bag full of his clothes in one hand and opens the door to Jade's room without knocking. She's glancing into the mirror and when she turns round Louis sees that she's wearing a short black dress and black tights with black boots. The only hint of colour on her outfit is her necklace which is red. She's supposed to look weird but somehow it suits her.

"Louis??"

"Um yes?"

"Wow. You look..hot" Jade says.

"I look hot everyday" Louis says jokingly.

"Yeah I know but like wow is all I can say. So I guess we're ready to go then"

"You look great as well Jade. And yeah we're ready"

"I thought you would've been wearing a suit or something silly like that" Jade laughs. A twinkly laugh that makes Louis grimace. Well in that case he won't tell her that he actually did wear a suit.

They head downstairs and say bye to Jade's mum before leaving the house. The cold air hits both of them and Louis wishes he brought his coat. Jade says they should huddle together for warmth, so that's what they do. They both chatter excitedly as they walk down the relatively empty streets of London.

It's not very far and as they enter the neighbourhood they know that Perrie must be rich. Louis is wealthy and so is Jade. But even their houses don't compare to the ones on this side of town. Three storey buildings towering over them. The streetlights are on illuminating Jade's face as she talks, her eyes shining brightly.

Maybe today would be nice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me your thoughts on this chapter! xx


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it.

Chapter Four

Nice. Ha as if. So far this wasn't what Louis would classify as 'nice'. It was loud and sort of..dangerous. Not Louis' type of nice. There was alcohol instead of water. People snogging instead of chatting. Modern music with swearing in it instead of the late Whitney Houston (rip) or the beautiful Christina Aguilera. What was this?

Well it was a party. There he was sat on one the only sofa that wasn't stained from alcohol or anything , next to Jade who was next to him. Louis could tell she was bored. She could probably go talk to some other people and hang with them and have actual fun. Yet here she was next to Louis. Bless her.

"You know, you don't have to stay with me. I'd understand if you wanted to you know..explore" Louis says. He's actually surprised that Jade even hears him over the loud thump of music. Gosh it was annoying.

"What if I wanted to? Besides your my best friend Louis. I'm not going anywhere." She smiles at him reassuringly and Louis smiles back. He was blessed to have a friend like Jade.

"Love you Jade" he says.

"I love you too you sap. Platonically of course"

"Obviously" Louis sighs. It wasn't fair of him. Why should Jade miss out on having fun just because of him? No that wasn't fair at all.

"Are you guys enjoying yourselves?" Perrie asks suddenly appearing from nowhere. She's dressed in a white crop top revealing a pale flat tummy and a piercing in her belly button. She had on black tight jeans that clung to her legs and Louis might have called her a "slut" if he hadn't seen the way she was genuinely smiling at them. Well her gaze was directed at Jade but Louis still counted it as a win.

"Yeah. It's great" Jade lies. Louis raises an eyebrow at her and she sighs deflated. "It's perhaps not our cup of tea to be honest"

"Oh well. I suppose you could join us upstairs. We're playing 21 dares." Perrie says.

Louis wonders who she means by 'Us'. Probably her gang. Before he can say anything Jade is already nodding. Right okay. That's fine.

It turns out that 'Us' turns out to be Eleanor, Josh, Harry, Zayn and Niall. They all look up when Perrie, Jade and Louis enter. Its not exactly the picture of happy etched on their faces. Well at least Taylor isn't there.

Louis is no idiot. He notices how Zayn's eyes rake up and down his body really fast. He's...checking him out.  ?

"They're joining us" Perrie states.

The rest nod.

"We're playing 21 dares" Niall says. "You two know how to play?"

Jade shakes her head but Louis decides to give it a guess "A game where you do 21 dares..?"

Harry chuckles and Louis' eyes dart over to him. "That's not it" Harry says. "21 dares is basically where we all take it in turns to count to 21 and the person that says 21 has to do a dare. But like you can only say up to three numbers. Get it?"

"Got it. Just one question though" Louis shifts a bit. The bed is really comfortable. King sized. "Why the number 21?"

Niall scoffs. "That is like the most stupidest question I've ever heard"

"Not as stupid as that time you asked me if I was on steroids" for some reason Louis' brain to mouth filter wasn't working. He earns some impressed looks though.

"Never knew you had it in you to answer back, Louis."  Niall nods at him. Wait he wasn't angry? Maybe these guys were cool after all. Well yeah they were cool but maybe Louis could grow to like them.

Maybe.

  
"Okay so I'll start." Josh announces. " 1 2 3"

They seem to be going in an anticlockwise direction as Eleanor speaks next. She takes a glug of..well whatever she's drinking. Hmm. So you don't eat anything but salad yet you would gladly down a bottle of vodka? Hypocritical. "4 5 6"  she says.

Then Harry. "7 8"

Then Zayn. "9 10 11"

Then Niall. "13 14"

Then Perrie. "15 16 17

Then Jade. "18 19 20"

Damn it damn it. No. No bloody way. Louis think. Think logically. Think logic. You can get yourself out of this. Who knows what kind of dares they'll have planned for you. Steal something? Kiss someone? Commit suicide! It could be anything.

"20 and a half" he says proud of his answer.

"Oh stop being a dick Louis" Josh groans. "Just say it"

"Oh fine" Louis sighs.  "21" the numbers feel like a deathtrap on his tongue. Louis exaggerates a lot: Fact. He's exaggerating now: Also a fact. We learn new things everyday.

"Kay" Zayn sits up. "I dare you to do an impression of one of us"

Okay. Sounds easy. Louis wasn't expecting that. Not that he's complaining.

Louis clears his throat and then tries to deepen his voice"hey everyone. Look at me I'm popular and have curly hair.  
everyone likes me because of my fabulous charm and I'm so vain and self absorbed.."

"that's a horrible impression" Harry says. "That's nothing like me. How about this one- hi guys. I'm smart. I get an a in everything I do! I have really nice blue eyes and weird sense of fashion but that's okay because I've got my two best friends.."

"You think I have nice eyes?' Louis asks. Really? Is that the only thing he heard?

Harry shrugs.

"Course he don't" Niall says. "Cuz I've got the nicest blue eyes you've ever seen innit Harry?"

Harry nods but it looks like he's nodding just for the sake of nodding.

Off they go again. This time its Eleanor who has to do a dare.

Perrie whispers something in Jade's ear, Jade giggles before saying. "Eleanor, I dare you to make a rap about Josh" giggles again.

"I can't rap!" Eleanor says.

"It doesn't matter" Perrie says.

Eleanor rolls her eyes but then she starts "This guys names Josh. He ain't really posh. His mama makes a good nosh so he thinks he's a boss. He plays on the football team we're first in the Borough you see but the schools a bit broke I really like Tennessee. WORD"

"Oh my God" Niall says between laughter. "That was awful"

"Thanks a lot" Eleanor says dryly.

"I thought it was alright" Louis says.

Eleanor nods at him in a way of thanks.

The game continues and then its Harry's turn.

"I dare you" Niall says. "To carry Louis around the room"

"What? No I'm too heavy" Louis protests.

Harry laughs "As if. Look how tiny you are" and then the next minute Louis is being lifted up- bridal style. He tries to ignore how safe he feels in Harry's arms or how good the guy smells. He also tries to ignore how Harry's muscles flex slightly. Then he's put back down again and he tries to ignore the pang of disappointment.

The game goes on. This time it's Perrie. "At last" she says smiling.

"Alright my turn" Harry says. " I dare you to kiss Jade." He's smirking now. To Louis' surprise Perrie doesn't look all that shocked.

"With tongues?"

"Yeah with tongue" Harry confirms.

Perrie leans forward into Jade and then their lips are...against each other. It looks weird. Louis doesn't really know how to explain it but he'd never have thought his best friend would kiss another girl. Never in a million years. Yet here they were.

"Shit that's hot" Josh says.

"Calm down, mate" Niall says. "You don't wanna pop a boner in front of everyone"

Perrie and Jade pull apart. There's silence for a few seconds before Niall says "Lets move on!"

Around five dares later Louis says that he needs to go to the toilet.

"it's just down the hall to your left" Perrie says.

Louis nods before exiting the room. He tries not to think about them talking about him. Why would they anyway? He'd never thought he'd say this but damn Louis was having a good time. A very good time indeed.

After washing his hands he stares at himself in the mirror. He has to admit that Dick did do a good job. Yes he looked different. But it was a good sort of a different. Sort of hot. Louis liked what he saw.

Upon pulling open the bathroom door he comes face to face with Zayn. (yay)

"Did you want to use the toilet?" He asks Zayn.

"No" Zayn shakes his head, then again his eyes travel up and down Louis' body. "Shit, you look so fucking hot" he grabs Louis' hand. "Follow me"

Zayn leads him right past the room that they were previously in to one three doors onwards. (Perrie has a lot of rooms)

Zayn opens the door with force and a sense of urgency and the two boys come face to face with a couple furiously snogging. They jolt at Louis and Zayn's entrance.

"Get out" Zayn says to them. Firmly yet sharp. Bitter. Sour.

"Um. No" the girl drawls. "We were here first"

Zayn takes a step closer "Get the fuck out or you won't like what I'll do to you" he seems to be scary enough as the couple scurry out.

Zayn leads him over to the bed and then kisses Louis. It's been quite a while since they had kissed. It felt nice. It felt like Zayn.

"I'm so hard for you right now" Zayn says gesturing to his growing bulge in his jeans. "Have been since you walked into the room"

"Really?" Louis breathes.

Zayn nods. "You should dress like this more often"

"I might consider it" Louis says. Which was true. He might actually consider it.

"Want you to suck me off" Zayn mutters.

Louis nods. Then laughs. "Well you'll need to stop kissing me then"

"I love your lips" Zayn murmur's into Louis' mouth.

"Oh really. I bet you'll love them around your dick more" Louis mutters back.

"Shit Louis. You can't just say things like that. Okay babe come suck me off" Zayn pulls down his jeans hurriedly.

Babe. Since when where they on pet names?

Zayn's dick springs up a little red from how hard he is. Louis uses a hand to wrap around the bottom before using his mouth for the rest. His cheeks hollow as the tip of Zayn's dick hits the back of his throat.

"Shit" Zayn groans his hands finding Louis' hair. Louis doesn't really like people pulling his hair but whatever. And it's not like he can say anything anyways. His mouths a bit busy.

Louis works faster, head bobbing up and down quick and as Zayn's groans get more louder and more sexual (keep it down) Louis' worst possible nightmare comes true.

He hears the door open and then a gasp.

Louis scrambles away from Zayn so quick as if the guy had some sort of contagious disease. His eyes drift up to the figure standing in the doorway, the sound of music comes drifting in.

Fuck.

It's Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger. 
> 
> Tell me what you thought of the chapter.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harry pov

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg thanks so much for all the kudos and comments you guys are awesome!!

Chapter Five

Harry's late to geography. Again. Oh well. There's no point running to the lesson if you're already late anyways. So he walks. Very slowly. With no sense of urgency. At all.

Him and the gang had found this great new hang out place at the back of the school, where there was loads of trees. Zayn brought a cigarette with him and only Josh had agreed to try. The guy had coughed so much if only Harry could feel some sort of sympathy for him. Ha as if.

Things were awkward between him and Zayn now. Every time their eyes met over the polished school dining tables he would see fear in those chocolate eyes of his. Zayn was scared that he would tell someone that he was gay.

Harry didn't get it. There was nothing wrong with being gay. It doesn't really matter what gender a person is as long as you love them right?

It had been 4 days since Harry had found out. It was a Tuesday. It would be the first time Harry would see Louis since the party. It was a bit daunting to be honest. And now he wasn't even sure if he could look at the boy. The lips would just remind him of when they were over Zayns..dick.

Harry couldn't stop thinking about that moment. He hadn't been repulsed by it or anything. He remembers Louis squeaking a 'Please don't tell anyone ' while Zayn had just stared blankly at him a dark look in his eyes. He was probably on the verge of an orgasm and Harry had sorta interrupted it. Unintentionally of course. Maybe that was good. Maybe Louis was a victim in all of this and Zayn had been the one forcing him to give him a blow job.

But. Louis had looked really into it. Down on his knees and everything. Loads of girls had gotten down on their knees for Harry. Never a boy though...well obviously because he totally wasn't gay. He wasn't. Not that there was anything wrong with being gay.

Being gay could make people look up to you. Have respect. Like Sam Smith - Harry loves Sam Smith. In a totally fangirl way.

Sam Smith was brave. Strong.

He reached the geography hallway and it was so quiet. They were probably doing worksheets then. Great now everyone would notice him being late. Not that, that was essentially a bad thing. It would give people the chance to appreciate his bright yellow t-shirt and tight black jeans. He know he looked good today. Taylor had told him like a million times and Leigh Anne had smiled very flirtatiously at him. Harry wasn't interested in any of them.

He knocked twice-because it was only polite and also knocking twice meant that there was no way they couldn't hear you(one knock and they might miss it, three and it appeared too desperate)- he was greeted with a smile by the geography teacher, Miss Libby.

"Sorry I'm last miss" he didn't really have an excuse so he just smiled helplessly and hoped for the best. It seemed to work.

"It's okay Harry." She said "Just get your stuff out quickly. We've run out of worksheets so I'm afraid you'll have to work with Louis. Is that alright with you?"

Harry nods even though it actually isn't okay. He notices how everyone stares at him as he walks over to his seat right at the bloody back. Perhaps he shouldn't have gone for yellow. It seemed too vibrant and bright for November.

Louis has his head down and Harry knows he's doing the on purpose. Well. Whatever.

Harry takes a seat suddenly becoming aware of how close the two were. These desks are really small. If he leans slightly to the right, his cheek will be brushing against Louis'. Where did that thought come from? Louis seems to notice it as well because he's shifting away slightly.

Harry stares down blankly at the worksheet. It was based off their homework.  Which Harry hasn't done. Brilliant.

Louis seems to writing furiously his handwriting, neat and small. He's almost at the end of his page. Harry realises he's staring.

"Stop staring at me" Louis snaps. It's quiet though only meant for Harry's ears.

"I wasn't I was staring at your work" Harry says.

"Oh so you're trying to copy me?" Louis puts his arm out protectively.

"Relax. It's a book. Not million pound worth of diamonds " Harry rolls eyes.

"Then do your work" Louis says.

"Don't tell me what to do"

"I just did" Louis says. They're glaring at each other now. Shit why do Louis' eyes look so blue. Especially from the light seeping through the window. They remind Harry of sapphires, beautiful blue sapphires. How can he glare at sapphires. He turns his head away defeated and sits slumped. Louis is obviously a bit surprised but then goes back to his work.

Work. Work. Work. Did the guy ever stop? Didn't it ever get tiring? Stressful? Hard living up to teachers expectations.

Around 5 minutes later Louis' raises his hand a small smile replacing the pissed off look that was there previously. "I've finished miss" he says. The whole class groans turning to give him a dirty look. Harry doesn't say nor do anything.

"Great" Miss Libby says. "That's awesome Louis. I'm sure you'll do great in the test next week then"

"Test!?" A boy says, Harry remembers his name as..well he doesn't know. Harry's never been very good with names.

"Yup" Miss Libby nods. "It's on the unit we've been studying for the last 6 weeks"

Harry hadn't even been in the school for a month.

"And you're just telling us now!" A girl says.

"I know you'll do great. You're my top set" Miss Libby puts on a smile while the class stare blankly at her. Harry couldn't give a shit if he tried. He'd wing it. That's how he did everything. Just see how it turned out on the day or even copy the person next to him. He obviously wasn't going to do that. Louis would definitely not let him.

The rest of the lesson passed with Harry barely writing a word. In the corner of his eye he saw Louis glance at him every now and then. What was that about?

Then as the bell rings Harry feels a whispered minty breath in his ears "Thanks for not telling anyone" and then Louis walks away with one of his friends, Liam that guy was.

So the school day has ended. Harry walks out blending in with the crowd of other students in the school before separating to walk home. He see's Louis up ahead walking quickly and sighs. It wouldn't be so bad if they were friends. Like walk home buddies or something like that.

Gemma was out on the grass again.

"Hey Louis!" She calls out as the boy walks past her. He stops and smiles at her and Harry just kind of stops and admirers the way the two of them get on. Talking about random stuff. He hears Gemma laugh a few times and then hears Louis chuckle. Why couldn't Louis act normal around him? Joke around?

Yes Harry knew his secret but shouldn't that sort of make them closer and help them to become friends.

He decides to hold his head up and walk by, his aim to get into the house without being spotted. No such luck.

"Harry are you blind or summat? I'm right here" Gemma yells at him. She's grinning. Louis is just kind of staring at him.

"Didn't see you there" Harry lies.

"This is Louis. Louis this is my brother Harry" Gemma says.

"We've already met" Louis says.

"Oh really? Great. So Harry, Louis was just telling me about his birthday party next month. You wanna come?" Gemma is talking excitedly unaware of the tension between the two boys.

"Umm" Harry's eyes drift to Louis to see his reaction. He doesn't seem to bothered. "Yeah alright"

"Great" Gemma says.

"Great" Louis echoes. "Well I've actually got to go so..bye"

"Right see ya later" Gemma waves and Louis smiles at her one last time before walking to his own front door.

Gemma turns to him "So how was school bro? "

Harry shrugs. "It was alright, I guess"

"Well my day was so awesome. Derek asked me out!"

"I don't know who that is" Harry says blankly. "Is he good looking?"

"Oh Harry it's not all about looks. But yeah he's quite handsome."

"Where are you guys going?"

"Some restaurant in central London"

"Ooh posh"

Gemma rolls her eyes. "Also I'd thought I should just tell you some girl came round today. Said her name was Kendall and that she's looking for someone called Robin...?"

Who the fuck is that?

"Kendall?"

"Isn't she like one of the girls you brought to bed? And also why is she calling you Robin?"

"Long story"

Kendall. Oh.

"Oh."  Clingy. Sort of pretty. Something to do with horse riding lol.

"So you know her?"

"Yeah I guess. What did she want?"

"She gave me her number to give to you. Said you should text her"

Harry scoffs "No fucking way"

 "A no would have sufficed but that's cool too"

Harry smiles fondly at her.

***  
Lunch time was weird for Harry. One minute all of them had been there then all the girls had gone to the toilets to reapply their makeup or something like that. Then Niall and Josh had gone..somewhere.

Then somehow it was just Harry and Zayn.

Talk about awkward.

Oh fuck it.

"So are you and Louis a thing?" He asks and watches as Zayn splutter's on his drink and then coughs repeatedly.

"That is none of your business" Zayn says.

"It is if I tell someone"

"You wouldn't" Zayn says. He's right Harry wouldn't. Harry didn't have the guts to do that. Especially as Louis had just thanked him the day before for not saying anything. Not that he would admit that though.

"Just answer the question"

"No we're not" Zayn glances over at Louis who's sitting a few tables away with his two friends. "We just kind of get each other off"

Get each other off. Why did the words sound so disgusting to Harry? "So basically friends with benefits?"

"Yeah I guess. Except that we haven't fucked"

"I don't think Louis would ever want to have sex with you anyway" Harry says finally picking up the burger on his plate. He always felt uncomfortable eating when Taylor just stared at his mouth creepily. It wasn't like there was anything special about his lips. They were just ..lips. After taking a bite his eyes flick up to Zayn who's eyebrows are furrowed a small frown on his face.

"What do you mean?" Zayn asks.

Harry shrugs "Louis just strikes me as one of those people who don't have sex until marriage"

"Well I got him to suck my dick didn't I? It wouldn't be hard to fuck him"

"Someone's confident" Harry says raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah I know. I heard you've been with a quite a few girls"

Again, Harry shrugs "Just sex innit? Don't mean anything"

"Do you think you could fuck Louis? Since its just sex"

"What has that got to do anything? Besides I'm not gay"

"But you're not entirely straight either"

"How'd you know?"

This time it's Zayn that shrugs. "Just a hunch. You know Harry you think you're some kind of god don't ya?"

"What? No I don't"

"Yes. You walk around with your stupid nice clothes and flirt with people but then you don't date 'em. You're just stupid! And now you know about me and Louis and I swear to God, Harry if you tell anyone I will ruin your existence. "

The two boys stare at each other for a minute.

"Tell you what Zayn, how bouts we make a deal." Harry says. Zayn leans forward slightly. "Whoever gets in to Louis' pants first gets to tell the other one to leave."

"Leave what?"

"This gang. They become a loser. A loner. A nobody. You say I think I'm a god? Well I'll show you that I am one" Harry says. In that moment he thinks every word that is spilling from his lips makes sense. He thinks it does because it's obvious to both boys that they dislike each other. There isn't enough room on the table for the two of them. Literally. And well as soon as Harry's fucked Louis and moved on he'll make Zayn's life a misery. Stupid boy thinking he was better than Harry. He wasn't. Zayn will be a nobody. Somebody that they used to know. He'll be at the bottom of the social ladder and Harry will laugh in his face repeatedly because he would have won. He's so sure that it makes sense. It does. That's what he thinks.

It feels like a whole fucking year before Zayn answers.

"Okay"

Harry holds out his hand for Zayn to shake. Zayn does, it's settled then. It was official.

Harry's eyes glance over to Louis who was currently laughing. He could do this.

He could.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you thought. We've got Harry starting his conquest to get into Louis' pants in the next chapter so stick around. I keep updating because I can't stop writing, I was actually going to post this next week but eh.


	6. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay over 100 kudos!! Thanks sooo much! xx
> 
> So here I am updating a day later. Oh well. I have so much fun writing this story so I hope you guys are enjoying it. Next chapter is Larry, I promise.

Chapter Six

"Um, Louis do you think you could help me with question seven?" Niall asks.

Louis looks up from his work with a smile. "Of course" he says. They were kind of like friends now after the party and instead of Niall always talking to Zayn all the time him and Louis had normal discussions. Like about football matches or how the school food wasn't really that good or how the pimple on Taylor's nose was getting bigger.

Yes that's right everyone. Taylor wasn't perfect. She spent her lunchtime using her hand to cover it. She was trying to be subtle but everyone had noticed.

And as for Zayn. Well Zayn still looked at Louis. Still smiled at him. Perhaps more than usual though. Zayn would say hello to him in the corridors or in the canteen and Louis would just glare at him because it was HIS fault that Harry knew.

Well Louis was putting the blame on him. There was absolutely no way that it was his fault.

As usual Miss Kedge smiled at him and frowned upon Niall. "I hope you're not coping, Horan" she says disapprovingly.

Niall rolls his eyes while Louis says "I'm just helping him Miss"

"Oh" Miss Kedge looks surprised. As if Louis were incapable of helping anyone. How rude.

The bell rings and Niall says bye to Louis before walking off with Zayn.

"Ooh. I see you two are best friends now" Jade jokes. Louis examines her eyes stopping at her skirt. Call him weird but he could tell it was 5cm shorter. Also her top was showing a bit of chest. What was going on?

"Jade." He says.

She smiles sweetly at him, white pearly teeth showing "Yes..?"

"What are you wearing..?"

"Oh this? Well Dickinson bought it for me. I let him decide what I wear now. Who knew my brother had such impeccable taste in clothes?"

Louis gapes. She looked PROUD about it.

She continued "He also told me that he dressed you on that night for the party. You should let him do that more often. You'd look so hot"

"And what I don't look hot now?" Louis said defensively.

"Now you look like normal Louis. But when my brother dressed you, you looked like sexy Louis. Sexy Louis is very appealing to girls you know" Jade says.

Girls. Ha. If only she knew. Why doesn't she know? After all they were best friends, Louis would need to tell her at one point. Soon.

Sometime. Soon. Or maybe not soon. Maybe when he has a boyfriend. Jade isn't homophobic right? Louis wasn't really sure.

They leave the room Miss Kedge stopping them to collect their gold merits. Well Jade's gold merit, Louis hadn't earned one. Because he was helping Niall. Which was weird because helping was a good thing.

Liam is there as usual, eyes glued to his phone. He looked totally indifferent to the fact that they were there.

"I say we walk right past him" Louis whispers to Jade who just laughs calling to Liam.

"You guys honestly need to stop being the last ones out of the room" he sighs.

"We'll try" Jade says.

"Hey Liam, do you think I look sexy today?" Louis asks.

Liam blushed. "Why are you asking me such a stupid question?"

"It's not stupid Liam. If you were a girl would you go for me?" Louis flutters his eyelashes attractively. At least that's what he hopes.

"I like your glasses" Liam says.

"What? I'm not even wearing glasses!" Louis says appalled.

"Awkward." Jade says. "C'mon boys do you really want to stand here arguing about glasses and sexiness or do you want to be in the canteen eating delicious food?"

"The food is horrible" Louis grumbles.

"SHH!" Jade looks round worriedly. "Teachers could hear us. Yes I know the food is horrible but I don't want that to affect my grades!"

"Whatever. Lets just go canteen. I'll get a sandwich today. They're pretty decent" Liam says.

They walk there slowly. With no sense of urgency , talking about anything that comes to their minds. Louis likes how it is with his friends, everything is so easy.

"Hey guys imagine if you two dated?" Louis says.

Jade and Liam laugh nervously.

"I don't think that'll ever happen" Jade says. "I mean no offence Liam, you're just not really my type"

"Yeah you're not my type either" Liam says.

Okaaaaay.

After Liam buys his sandwich and Louis and Jade opt for sausages and mash potatoes they head to their table. Louis making sure to tuck his bag under the table. You know just in case.

"Hey guys I just thought of something funny" Louis says.

Jade and Liam look at him expectedly.

"Okay so what if my bag wasn't tucked in and Taylor tripped over it and popped her pimple"

"For crying out loud I'm eating , you dickhead!" Liam says.

"That was, in no shape or form anything even remotely funny." Jade says seriously. "It was Infact disgusting and has now put me off my horrible sausages. Congratulations"

Liam laughs. Louis scowls. It had sounded better in his head.

"Is this seat taken?"

All three of them look up upon hearing the voice. It's husky and deep and slow and it's Harry.

Louis wants to slap him and then pull him by his hair and drag him out of the canteen because why is he here????

Louis glances down at the empty seat next to him and slowly picks up his bag and places it on the chair before answering "Yes"

The smile slides of Harry's face and he blinks at Louis.

"Don't be so rude Louis" Jade says. "Course it ain't taken, Harry."

Liam looks at them confused. "Oh so we're friends with him now?"

"Um. I'm right here" Harry says.

"Jade is" Louis says. "Ever since the party which you didn't want to come to"

"Oh right. One of my biggest mistakes. My family had karaoke night that day" Liam says.

Louis and Jade coo with sympathy. Liam's karaoke nights were awful. Louis should know, he's been to one. He remembers cringing as Liam's grandparents started dancing to gangnam style. Cringe Cringe Cringe Cringe Cringe.

Louis removes his bag and Harry plonks down next to him smelling remotely of apples and pears. Louis loves both of those things.

"So..just out of curiosity..why have you decided to sit here?" Louis asks, then glances at Harry's gang who are looking at Harry as if he'd just grown two heads. Louis doesn't blame them.

"Taylor's pimple put me off"

Liam laughs. Oh come on Liam it wasn't even funny. Louis' joke had been funnier.

"But seriously" Jade says.

Harry shrugs. "Just felt like a change"

Just felt like a change?? Um no way. No way does a popular person sit with unpopular people just because they FELT LIKE A CHANGE. It just doesn't bloody happen.

Louis was no suspicious.

"So..what are you guys talking about?" Harry asks.

"Well Louis just told us a joke" Liam says.

"Great. Can I hear it?"

"No" Louis says.

Jade frowns at him as if to say 'what is your problem'

Harry clears his throat. "So, Louis. Gemma was wondering if you'd like to hang out with her today"

Oh Gemma. Lovely girl.

"Sure. I'd love to" Louis replies.

"Who's Gemma?" Liam asks.

"My sister" Harry says. "And before you ask no she's not interested"

"Wasn't going to mate" Liam says.

Harry nods.

Lunch is sort of awkward.

***

On Louis way home he see's Harry rush past him and rolls his eyes. Why was he in such a rush?

Whatever at least he was going to hang with Gemma.

That would be nice.

***  
HARRY POV.

Harry ran fast trying to get to Gemma before Louis. He had totally just made it  up on the spot. Well at least Louis had said yes. Louis and Gemma were good friends.

He saw here coming out of the house . Huh? Where was she going?

"Gemma! I need you to hang out with Louis!" He yells.

"What?" She says.

"Louis. You know the guy who lives next door. Pretty short, fringe..brown hair, blue eyes.."

"I know who Louis is you doughnut! I just don't understand why I have to hang out with him. Not that I mind of course but like why?"

"It's sort of a long story. Well not really but kinda. I'll tell you that bit later. So can you?"

"Can I what?"

"Hang out with Louis!" Harry says slightly annoyed. Keep up Gemma.

"I can't actually" She says.

"Whaa? Why not?"

"I've got that date with Derek"

"Oh fuck Derek! My entire school life is riding on this!"

"Your school life? 

"As I said long story. But please Gemma?"

"I can't Harry, I'm sorry. I really like Derek. I've got to go"

Harry groans. "I'm not coming to your wedding!" He shouts as he watches her walk down the street.

"Love you too!" She calls back with a laugh.

Harry closes his eyes sighing. Great so he had told Louis that Gemma wanted to hang out with him and now Gemma wasn't even going to be there. His mum would be working late today so it would just be...him and Louis. Just the two of them. Alone. Together.

When he opens his eyes he sees Louis' blue ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you thought. xx


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry pov.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

Chapter Seven

The two stare at each other for what feels like ages before Harry finds himself blinking.

"Um. You can come inside" Harry says.

Thank God Louis didn't see Gemma walk down the corner. Seriously God, thanks. Harry really appreciated it. Gave him the chance to start his mastermind plan. Which was to...Wait. What was his plan anyway?

God, Harry didn't even have one. Well he supposed he could go with the simple make him like you until he's ready to pull down his pants sort of thing.

Except it was Louis. Louis who didn't really stand for shit. Would he really fall for Harry's plan? Whatever at least he had a head start on Zayn. Harry smirked at that thought.

Louis sent him a weird look. Oh he must've thought Harry was smirking at him. Well let him think that.

"Yeah sure. D'you know when Gemma gets back" Louis says. It's very obvious the actual question was 'How long do I have to spend with you'.

"Uhm. Soon" Harry says not trusting himself to say any more.

Harry opens the door with fumbling hands desperately hoping that his mum had washed the plates that morning.

She had.

"Take off your shoes" he instructs. He see's Louis roll his eyes in his peripheral vision.

"Be warned I've got smelly feet" Louis says slipping of his vans.

"I'm sure I can deal with it" Harry dismisses.

They trek in to the living room , Harry switching on the lights. The tv's already on , an episode of Jeremy Kyle playing.

They sit down on the sofa a very measured, very big distance separating the two of them. Harry's not sure how that happened.  They watch in silence but while Harry is staring at the screen he isn't really seeing it.

He's kind of focusing on the way Louis is currently wriggling his toes and sniffing every now and then. The struggle of colds. Luckily Harry hadn't caught one, due to lots of scarfs (which he never wears to school like ever because like no. However they do accompany him to bed) and hot steaming cups of tea(milk and sugar of course).

But whatever. Back to Louis' toe wriggling. Which was sort of cute. SORT OF.

"You should drink more tea" Harry finds himself saying.

"Huh? What?" Louis says confused.

"For your cold. It helps"

"Oh please Harold, I am practically the king of tea. I drink it all day every day"

Harry raises an eyebrow. Harold? That was new. Harry didn't question it though. It was a step in the right direction. If Harry played his cards right he could end up in bed with Louis by evening.

Okay probably not but maybe he won't dislike him anymore. It would be a start.

"Okay well maybe not like everyday because I have school for like 6 out of the 24 hours"

"Actually you have school for only 6 hours of the first five days and the other two days are the weekend" Harry corrects.

Louis stares at him a little surprised "Well well well. Who knew you were smart."

"Always had it in me I suppose"

"I take it back you're as dumb as two sticks"

Harsh. "Heeey" Harry draws the word out. He keeps his tone light. This is banter right? They're bantering right? Harry thinks this is bantering.

"You should eat more oranges. It'll make your hair more curlier. Might become a bloody bush" Louis jokes.

Harry rolls his eyes playfully. "That's so not true. But you know what is? You're feet really do kind of stink"

Louis picks up one of the cushions which Harry's mum, Anne loves placing on the sofa and aims it at Harry a wicked grin on his face. Louis was grinning..at him.

Result!

"Hey don't touch my mums cushions they cost a fortune!' Harry whines.

"Great so they cost as much as me then no actually I'm priceless" they both laugh for a bit at that moment. If this how it was to be with Louis it should be easy. Super duper easy in fact.

"Thanks again for not like telling anyone" Louis says quietly after their laughter has faded into silence. Harry turns to him and sees Louis staring at him with earnest eyes. "And sorry for lunch. It just feels weird that you know my secret when like people like my best friends and my family don't know"

Harry's eyes widen. "They don't know?"

"No. I'm just like scared to tell them, you know. Like they might not like what I am"

"I remember meeting your sister Lottie and Felicity. They were really nice-"

Louis snorts. "That's cuz they have a crush on you"

"..really?"

"Duh. Like everyone does. Haven't you noticed"

"Not really. Only Taylor made it obvious" Harry says.

"They all made it obvious. You were probably just too oblivious to notice"

Harry nods slowly. "Well I guess there were days when I would catch everyone looking at me"

"That's because you're hot! I mean they think you're hot"

"Hmm" Harry says trying not to smirk at Louis' slip up.

They stare at each other for a bit before Louis clears his throat. "So uh where's Gemma"

Gemma who? Oh right his sister. Oh.

Well Harry should've known it would come to this. He might as well tell him and get the ball rolling.

"Um yeah..about that she's actually on a date with someone right now"

"But I thought she wanted to hang out with me today??"

"Uh well actually it was like me. That wanted to hang out. Like become friends..i mean we might as well right since we're neighbours and all" the lies spill from Harry's lips pretty quick and he feels something like uneasiness in his stomach.

"Okay. I guess we could be friends" Louis nods.

Harry smiles sweetly,  proud of himself.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

" I like your dimples"

Oh. Compliments.

"Well I like the fact that you're gay" Harry replies earning a shocked look from Louis.

It makes Harry cackle and then he stops as Louis smiles slowly at him. The uneasiness in his stomach just got a whole lot worse.

***

"Harry did you hear me ?" Josh repeats.

Harry couldn't care less what the boy had just said to be honest. His attention was more on the fact that Zayn was at Louis' table talking to Louis. Harry noticed that the basterd had done his hair nicely and purchased a new shirt - was it weird that Harry had noticed that?

Whatever. At least Louis didn't seem pleased to see him. He looked pissed off actually. Harry sat back in his chair smug that he was winning. He was already wondering about seeing Zayn wandering aimlessly about with a ciggie tucked between his lips. If Harry won this thing and Zayn had to because a loser and shit Harry knew that he would never actually be an ACTUAL loser he was just like too cool for that. No matter what Harry could never take away that sort of bad boy thing Zayn had going for himself. It was unfortunate but a fact.

His eyes flicked his eyes back to the disappointment image of Josh. He was kind of glaring at him. Ugh.

"Did you hear what I said?" Josh says again.

"Obviously not or I would've replied wouldn't I?"

Josh rolls his eyes while Taylor giggles.  She obviously did something about the pimple as it was nowhere to be seen and she was back to bring confident again.

"I said why were you sitting at their table yesterday?" Josh says gesturing over to where Louis was sitting. He was wearing his glasses today. Harry doesn't know why he felt the need to include that detail.

Everyone looks up at him. "Just needed help with the geography homework" he lies.

"We didn't get any homework" Eleanor says. Oh yeah he forgot she was in his class. Ugh fuck you Eleanor.

Great what did he say now?

"Um last weeks homework. Cuz I didn't do it" Harry says.

"I don't do my homework either" Taylor says shifting a bit closer. Fuck she's invading his personal space.

"How interesting" Leigh Anne snorts from the other end of the table.

"What do you guys think Zayn's doing over there?" Niall wonders.

That all shrug while Harry remained neutral.

"Dunno" Eleanor says. "Ugh I'm so hungry"

"Maybe you should eat more" Harry comments. 

"What are you trying to say Styles! Hope you have this much confidence for when you're on the field " she says.

"The field?"

"Football tryouts are today" Josh says. "You said you're going to do it remember?"

"Oh" Were they still fighting it out for Taylor because really Josh could have her Harry really didn't care. "Yeah I might not do that"

"Cause you're not good enough?"

"Because I'm not bothered" Harry says.

"You're so lovely, Harry. So glad you joined this school " Taylor says.

"Yeah right okay" he replies trying not to roll his eyes.

Zayn joins them.

"What were you doing over there Malik?" Leigh Anne questions.

"None of your business" he answers. Damn. Harry should have said that, it sounded so cool.

  
"Ooh secretive" Perrie says.

"Actually I'd prefer it if you used the word Mysterious" Zayn says.

Their eyes meet over the table and Harry smirks in his direction.

Zayn stares blankly back at him.

***

Friends walk home together right? Harry was pretty sure friends walked home together. So if him and Louis were supposedly friends now then it should be normal for them to walk together?

Yet he found it such a difficult task to catch up with the boy ahead of him. Right then it actually looked like stalking with Harry a few paces behind.

Just do it.

"Hey Louis" he calls.

Louis turns round pretty quick, a small smile occupying his smile as his gaze finds Harry.

"Hey" he replied.

"Is it OK if I walk with you?" Harry asks.

"Yeah sure. You don't need to ask. "

"So how was your day" he asks trying to make conversation. 

Louis shrugs. "It was alright I suppose. Except Zayn is acting like really weird, would you know why that is?"

That's it. That's it. He's caught you. You have failed. Your life is over. Well maybe not your life but just your school life and JUST LIE TO HIM.  "No" Harry squeaks.

"Oh okay. Just thought you might, since you two are friends" Louis says. Well at least he believed him. And also friends? With Zayn? As if. "Hey did you know that buttermilk doesn't actually contain any butter" Louis says.

"How'd you know that?" Harry asks. That was so random.

"Went online. When I'm bored I look up random facts"

"How can you be bored with a house full of four girls?" Harry wonders. 

"Because they're girls and girls are boring. Ha maybe that's why I'm gay" Louis chuckles to himself and Harry laughs awkwardly not knowing whether that's a joke or not.

They arrive in their neighbourhood.

"So I'll see you around" Louis says walking up to his front door.

"Um Louis?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you wanna like..hang out sometime. With me" Harry says.

Louis looks at him for a good few  minutes before answering "Okay. When?"

"Like now" Harry finds himself saying. Hm maybe a bit too forward. It's not like he had all the time in the world anyway. His plan was to hang out with Louis start to make him get used to him and then on one of the days tell him his supposed  'feelings' for him. Hopefully Louis would feel the same way and then BAM quick sex and Harry would've won. Well maybe a few dates in between.

"I've kind of got homework to do and that geography test to study for" Louis says.

"You can study at my place" Harry shrugs.

"Why do you suddenly want to hang out with me anyway?"

"Cuz we're friends. Friends hang out it's especially useful if you happen to live next door to them as well"

"Yeah I guess" Louis says. "But lemme go change first, yeah?"

"What's wrong with what you're wearing?"

Louis was wearing a blue striped top and red trousers.

"I don't really like it"

Then why would you wear it? "I think it looks fine"

Louis shrugs. "I'll knock in a few minutes"

Harry nods and then enters his own house. Gemma's there.

"Louis' coming round" he says.

"Oh great"

"So how was your date Gems?" Harry asks.

"Nice. He was so lovely and cute and I just wanted to kiss him"

"Woah. Don't kiss on the first date"

"Screw that. I kissed him anyway. It was nice. So are you going tell me about yesterday or not?"

"Ummm.. "

He's interrupted by the doorbell.

"I'll get it" Harry says. He opens the door totally not expecting Louis to be wearing the same thing he had worn to that party. Those white jeans. He wasn't expecting himself to be sort of attracted to the way those jeans were hugging his legs.

"You look h-amazing" he says smiling as Louis blushes.

"Erm thanks. Hey I was thinking we could actually study for the geography test together " Louis says.

"No no no. Sorry mate I don't study" Harry says letting Louis in.

"You don't study!?!"

"Nope. I don't see the need. " Harry says.

Louis' eyes widen but he drops the subject.

"Hey GG" he says to Gemma. 

Woah. They already had nicknames"

"Lucy" Gemma says back. "Ooh. Looking on point today. Is there someone you're dressing up for?'

Louis blushes some more avoiding Harry's gaze. HM.

"So. Who's up for Scooby doo?" Gemma says.

"That's soo old" Harry says.

"It's a classic! Louis since your the guest what would you like to watch?"

"Anything. I'm mainly studying anyway so I won't really be watching."

"Such a good role model. You should look up to him, Harry"

"Well actually I look up to him. Height difference and all" Louis laughs.

Harry smirks.

"Ha ha. Sehr funny" Gemma says.

"What does sehr mean?" Harry asks.

"It means very in German." Louis says.

"Oh right" so he's good at different languages? That's nice.

Cool, even.

"Are you hungry, Louis?" Gemma asks.

"I would say no to be polite but honestly I am. School food is made for dogs" Louis says.

"Yeah it is really horrible" Harry agrees.

"Sixth form food is nice" Gemma says. "I'll go get biscuits and shit"

"So" Harry says.

"So" Louis says.

They grin at each other.

"This is nice..us being all friendly and friends" Harry says.

"It is" Louis agrees amusedly.

"Right"

"Right"

More grinning. And they must look like two idiots but Harry finds that he doesn't really care.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts...xxx


	8. 8

Chapter Eight

Louis' party had somehow turned from close friends to the whole of their year. Not that he was complaining, after all it did increase his popularity..quite a lot. Also Harry had begun to sit with him at lunch sometimes and except from the weird looks from Liam everything was okay. Great, in fact.

So the fact that it was currently 11pm and the music was still blaring from the living room wasn't at all a surprise. The surprise was that Louis was drunk..yes drunk.

And the fact that Louis was drunk was the only reason that he was currently kissing Zayn. They were in his room, tongues flicking aggressively against each other. Zayn's hands were currently fiddling with Louis' zipper, Louis didn't stop it, didn't think much of it. Didn't really notice it anyway.

"Louis I've been looking everywhere-" one minute he was kissing Zayn and the next the guy was on the floor. Him and Harry wrestling viciously.

"Staap" Louis' words were slurred and to be honest he didn't even understand what he had just said. 

Harry glances up, the dark green in his eyes softening a bit "Are you drunk, Louis?"

Louis giggles in response. Harry throws a punch at Zayn's left shoulder and Louis cringes at the sound of a crack. That didn't sound too good. "You fucking basterd" he snarls.

"No No" Louis scrambles off the bed and places a tentative hand on Harry's bicep. "It's not his fault, Harreh. It's mine. I wanted to get drunk. Me. Louis Tomlinson. So hit me instead."

"Don't be silly Louis. I'd never hurt you" Harry says.

"Get off me you dickhead!" Zayn pushes Harry away with a force that Louis didn't know he had. "So I'll see you later, Louis" he says when he gets to the doorway.

Louis nods clumsily almost stumbling back at the action. Zayn flashes him a toothy grin before leaving.

They stay in silence for a bit. "You realise that you aren't seeing him later right?" Harry says.

"Course I will. Who says I can't?"

"Me"

"Well you can't tell me who I can hang out with and who" Louis groans in frustration "I'm not making sense!"

"Well you're drunk so. Listen Louis, I think you should just stay away from Zayn for a bit. Actually a long time..he doesn't have exactly the best intentions for you"

"And you do?"

That shuts Harry up. He stares at the floor until Louis says that he's tired. "Well lie down on the bed then" Harry says.

Louis slips off his shoes before climbing in under the covers sighing at the sudden warmth. Harry switches off the light and is about to leave when: "Um Harry. Don't leave me by myself"

"Okay" Harry says easily and he turns back into the room and lies down next to Louis. The sudden presence of Harry is overwhelming and Louis feels his dick twitch. He hasn't lain next to a guy in like..well forever really. He's never lain next to a guy before and his breath hitches when their shoulders brush. Which is stupid really because people brush shoulders all time and it really should be no different with Harry.

But somehow it is.

"You didn't have to lie with me " Louis says.

"What if I wanted too?" and well Louis doesn't really have an answer to that. Harry wanted to. Harry wanted lie next to him. Louis Tomlinson. Again this should be normal friends share beds all the time, even boys. Louis remembers a few occasions when he'd stayed at Liam's place both of them whispering throughout the night and that was normal. But here. Louis feels something flutter in his tummy.

It's just that Harry, his friend, is very good looking.  And he's even more good looking up close and it just. Feels nice.

Louis closes his eyes trying to block out the sound of music and laughter. Luckily his family had gone to his grandmother's house so they wouldn't know about this. And surely their neighbours wouldn't mind all of this noise. Okay they probably would but Louis didn't want to worry about that right now. It wasn't important. It was totally irrelevant.

It's just a few minutes later before he hears Harry humming.

: _Can I lay by your side. Next to you,you. And make sure you're alright. I'll take care of you. And i don't want to be here if i can't be with you tonight_

No way. No fucking way was Harry singing that song. Yet he was. How convenient that it happened to fit the moment. Harry probably thought he was sleeping. So Louis let him think that.

Louis fell asleep with a small smile on his face.

***

"Your party was great man!" A random bloke says to Louis as him and his friends walk down the hallway. Did Louis even know him? Like seriously?

"I didn't know you knew Bert"Liam says nudging his shoulder against Louis'.

"I don't" Louis replies flatly.

"Yeah to be honest Louis I don't think you knew even half of the people there" Jade says. "Also what happened to you around halfway through? You just like disappeared."

"Um" Louis blushes remembering him and Harry last night. Or maybe he blushes because said Harry is just up ahead laughing with Taylor about something. Louis shrugs helplessly hoping it's enough of an answer. It seems to be.

"So guys" Liam says. "I was thinking we head to the library today. There's this book I really want to read"

"Is it that one on how to be satisfying in bed?" Louis wonders squeaking as he's budged by Liam. Hard.

"Shh Louis! It's not something  you say publicly"Liam hisses.

"Alright alright. Sorry" Louis says.

"Wait. They have books on that kind of thing?" Jade asks.

Liam glares at her while Louis laughs.

"cool party dude!" Another random boy says.  And Louis doesn't know him either.

"well well. Mister popular" Jade teases."Just don't forget about us"   
   
Louis pulls them both in for a hug not really caring who sees. "Never" he licks Jade's cheek and bites Liam's before grinning.

"I would say ew" Liam says. "But it wasn't really ew"

"Your tongue isn't that wet so I suppose I don't mind too much" Jade says.

"Love you guys"

"we love ya too"

"Hey, Louis" Harry smiles at him while Taylor just stares. "Hey Jade, Liam"

"I um hello" Louis stutters.

"Hey Harry" please don't start a conversation please don't start a conversation. "How're you today?" Damn you Jade.

"I'm good thanks for asking and you?"

"Splendid"

"Ha. Louis where are your glasses? They broke or something. I'm sure you could do something a bit better than Specsavers" Taylor says eyeing him up and down.

"They aren't from Specsavers" Louis mutters.

"Sorry didn't hear you. Can you repeat that?" There's a smirk on her face and Louis really bloody hates her. Stupid...bitch!

"He said they aren't from Specsavers" Jade says and Louis looks at her shocked. Well Jade has never really been scared of anyone so it isn't really much of a shock. "And also it's none of your bloody business where his glasses are. See you around, Harry. Come on guys lets go" Jade says tugging Louis and Liam.

"Thanks for that" Louis says.

"No problem" Jade smiles.

"I hope you stand up for me like that" Liam says.

"Course I will. Library it is then"

***  
Louis is heading to Jade's house and he couldn't be more happier. Seriously.

The first thing Dick says when he sees him is "So I heard the clothes were a success"

Louis nods. "Then you heard correctly"

"So will you let me become your personal wardrobe?"

"I will consider it"

"Good"

"Um. Where's Jade?" Louis asks.

"On a date" Dick shrugs. "Seemed pretty happy"

"Oh really. I didn't know that. Did you see who the boy was?"

"Nope"

"Okay"

"Okay" Dick mimics.

"And where's your mum?" Louis asks.

Dick shrugs.

"Oh okay"

"Okay " Dick mimics.

They sit in compatible silence for a while, Dick flicking through the channel before settling for a rerun of Friends.

"Think Jennifer Aniston's hot?" Dick asks.

"Um." Louis squirms uncomfortably. No cuz he's gay. Gay as in liking dick up his bum. "She married Brad Pitt" is his answer.

"That wasn't the question"

"Oh really. Sorry I didn't hear you well" Louis lies.

Dick blinks at him and for a second Louis thinks he's going to get angry. Until he laughs.

Louis stares at him confused.

On his way home he sees two girls giggling and holding hands. He doesn't think much of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? xx


	9. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. Thanks for all comments and kudos ilysm. Just like to point that if you thought Louis and Harry were going to fall in love anytime soon you were wrong- sort of. This fic is going to be very long(not sure how long yet) and a lot of drama is going to start in this chapter and the ones up ahead. Its a long journey please stay with me on it.

Chapter Nine

It was when Harry saw Zayn kissing Liam that he wondered whether the guy was still in the bet. And also whether Liam was gay or not. Harry seemed to have a knack of walking in on people..boys especially. Definitely not something he's proud of.

Liam had squeaked before pulling away from Zayn who just looked like he wanted more. But honestly what did they expect the toilets wasn't exactly the best hiding place.

("What have I just walked into?"

"Um. Me and Zayn were kissi-"

"No Liam. I know what you two were doing, it was a rhetorical question"

"Right. Um please don't tell anyone?"

"If Zayn admits that he's out of the bet then I'll forget this even happened"

"Zayn Malik never admits defeat.  I'm still in this mate. Also I know for a fact that you and Louis haven't kissed. Jeez, you've never even seen his dick like I have. I don't think he'll be letting you into his pants anytime soon "

"How'd you get him to suck you off anyways?"

"Wait. Why are you guys talking about Louis?"

Liam's question goes unanswered.

"That's my secret. Something you'll never know. Now can you get out of here you've kind of interrupted us" )

Harry didn't really want to think about that right now. What he really should be focusing on is his next step. Which was to at least get Louis to kiss him and hopefully somehow they would get caught up in the moment that they have sex and then voilà Harry would've done it.

There he was watching Louis laugh with Gemma in a totally non creepy way and was just thinking. He just needed a moment to sit back and observe everything. Because like what if him and Louis were awkward after the sex. Harry still wanted to be friends with him after it but would Louis feel the same?

" you alright Harold?"

It takes a minute for Harry to realise that Louis' talking to him.

"Yeah I'm fine" Harry shrugs.

"Hey, so are you ready for the geography test?" Louis asks.

"Nope. But I'll just copy you won't I?" Harry replies with a cheeky grin.

Louis rolls his eyes but he's smiling. Harry can't help but notice how nice he looks when he smiles. "You will do no such thing. That's..cheating"

"Obviously"

"plus nobody will believe that you got an a+"

"Well why not? I think its very believable don't you Gemma?"

"The highest you ever got was a c- and that was only because our uncle drummed it into your head" she scoffs. Harry rolls his eyes at her.

"The highest you ever got was a c- !?" Louis exclaims, mouth wide open.

Why is he so shocked?

"Um yeah" Harry says.

"That's horrible!"

Harry stares at him confused. A c- wasn't that bad it was actually quite average. He remembers getting the 11th highest in that test-which was quite good for Harry.  But oh yeah this is Louis Tomlinson he's talking to. Straight a student and always the teachers pet. Snotty and stuck up and looked his pretty little nose down at everyone- yet he wasn't really like that. Louis was also kind and funny and very,very witty.

Louis seems to take Harry's silence for something else. "Oh Harry. I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. Its just that anything less than an A is just so weird to me"

"It's alright. Can't do much about it" Harry shrugs.

"I could tutor you" Louis suggests.

"No" Harry replies instantaneously. "I don't need your pity"

"I'm not pitying you, I'm just trying to help-"

"I don't need your help!" 

Louis eyes widen a bit cause Harry has never snapped at him before and then sighs and glances at Gemma frustratingly.

"I'd just leave him alone if I were you. Harry don't like help. " she smiles fondly at her brother before heading to the kitchen to get some biscuits.

They're left in a bit of an awkward silence.

"I'm sorry" Louis says eventually.

Harry shakes his head. It was his fault after all, he shouldn't have been so rude like that.

"No don't apologise Louis. It's my fault "

"Okay it's your fault then"

Harry's head whips up only to find Louis grinning at him. Great they're argument was over.

"You little shit" Harry teases. "Oh maybe you're like offended that I used a swearword at you"

"Not at all. Not at all. "

"Okay so swear at me then"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything"

"Sometimes I feel like being fucked so hard that my arse feels like shit days later"

Harry chokes on air-if that's even possible. And he feels a certain familiar feeling down there. Okay so he found Louis swearing really hot. And he found what Louis said even _hotter._

"Are you okay?" Louis asks concerned.

"Um yeah. Fine. Splendid. Just wasn't expecting that"

"Expecting what?"

"The very obscene swearing "

"Everyone's got a naughty side to them" Louis says.

Naughty.

Shit.

***  
"So who's this guy you went out with yesterday?" Louis asks Jade as they sit down at lunch.

"Guy?" Jade repeats her cheeks blushing a light pink. "Oh it was just some..guy"

"Some guy? I don't think he'll be pleased to know that's what you think of him" Liam says.

Jade shrugs obviously not wanting to say any more. "What about your love life Louis?"

"Inexistent" Louis replies. "Haven't really found anyone yet" he blushes as his mind drifts back to Harry. Harry is just a friend , Louis.

"Great. Well I can set you up with someone" Jade says.

"Well um-"

"Perrie knows this girl, and she's clever and smart-"

"Clever and Smart mean the same thing, Jade" Liam interrupts.

Jade sighs exasperatedly before continuing "and as I was saying, Perrie says that she's quite pretty too and has quite a good sense of humour and you know-"

"Perrie?" Louis questions only realising that his friend had just used to girl's name twice.

"Yeah you know that girl who hangs with Taylor. Blonde hair, blue eyes, around average height-"

"Listen Jade I know who she is I just didn't think you were that close to her"

"Close?"

"Friendly"

"Friendly. Okay yeah, we're friendly with each other" Jade says. Louis sends her a weird look wondering why she's acting so weird. "So what do you say will you go out with her?"

"Her as in...?"

"Lizzie"

"I don't like her name" Louis sniffs watching as Liam lets out a laugh and Jade stares at him, gaze unwavering. He knows he's lost this battle. Jade always got the best of him.

"Sooo? Yes or no?" Jade persists.

Louis shifts uncomfortably looking round and hoping a distraction will come or something.

Thankfully it does. Not a pleasant one but it'll do. The canteen doors open and everyone looks up at the boy walking in. Louis notices that he looks different from the last time he saw him, more manly in a way. Less puny and lanky. He's certainly been hitting the gym or something. Beautifully styled blonde hair, with gold highlights and as always those familiar turquoise eyes that Louis always used to adore. He notices Jade and Liam tense beside him, they know him as well.

What the hell is _he_ doing here?

Reece Jones. They're ex friend but more importantly, Louis' ex-boyfriend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaaa tell me what you think xxx


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm quite pleased with how this chapter turned out. Hmmmm.

Chapter Ten

"I'm bored" Taylor announces after just spitting out a dodgy looking piece of meat. 

Harry rolls his eyes trying not to glance at Louis' table, it looked much more fun than where he was. All they did here was bitch about other people..which isn't really fun. Not one bit.

No one answers so Taylor speaks up again "guys, I'm bored!"

"Well what do you want us to do?" Harry snaps.

"Entertain me" Taylor whines.

"Entertain yourself" Harry goes back to staring at his plate of meat and potatoes, swimming with dark gravy. It looks inedible. And disgusting and well, inedible.

"Oh spare us your bullshit Harry, you've been acting like this all week!" Harry looks up to find Josh's brown eyes glaring at him. Whatever.

"Okay how about this then? Taylor, if you're so bored as you claim to be then why don't you make out with Josh"

"Err, well actually maybe it'd be better if me and you made out?" Taylor says hopefully. Harry watches how Josh's eyes become dull at Taylor's suggestion. Harry can't help but feel a little sorry for the guy, he is only human after all and its normal to feel sympathetic to someone. Especially to someone who clearly likes a girl who clearly doesn't reciprocate his feelings and CLEARLY likes someone else. The someone else being Harry. Harry doesn't like Taylor, like that. Or maybe even at all, really.

Taylor's still waiting for an answer.

  
"No" Harry says bluntly.

Leigh Anne's eyes widen a little and look suddenly alarmingly large. "Let me get this straight. Taylor just asked if you wanted to make out and you said no is that correct?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely" Harry replies. Well he might as well move on to his desert now. Okay this looks kind of okay. It's banana cake so it doesn't look that bad. He picks up his spoon and takes a small piece. He chews slowly before realising that no- no he will not be taking another bite. In other words: horrible.

"Well aren't you something, Mr Styles" Leigh Anne says staring at him in a very unfamiliar way. Is that admiration he sees? Harry shrugs in reply wondering what she means by that.

"Why not?" Taylor asks seeming a bit speechless.

"Not my type " Harry says.

Eleanor looks up from her previously slouched position and suddenly looks interested in their conversation. Which is more than he can say for Zayn and Niall who seem to be in their own little world discussing something privately. Josh is now staring down aimlessly at his food as if it holds all the worlds secrets in it.

Maybe it does.

No of course it doesn't. Somewhere vaguely in the background he hears Liam laugh and wonders vaguely what they're talking about. Harry watches the way Zayn's features soften. He must have heard the laugh too. So did Zayn like like Liam? Or was he just a replacement for Louis in the meantime while he tries to get into his pants?  Harry simply doesn't know.

"What is your type then Harry?" Eleanor asks.

  
Good question. What was Harry's type?

Well gender wise he didn't really care.

"I just like someone who's nice, you know good sense of humour ..something like that" he tails off not really sure what else to say.

"Literally anyone could fit into that description" Leigh Anne says.

Harry shrugs. "More options for me then"

"Woman aren't just options!" Eleanor gasps obviously offended.

Who says it needs to be a woman...

Currently right then 3 girls were glaring at him, well two since Taylor was giving him heart eyes and Perrie wasn't in to relive the tension.

"You dug yourself a hole there, mate" Niall says.

Indeed he has. Harry doesn't know what to say. And this is getting awkward. Things are never ever supposed to be awkward Harry (apart from that weird hangout with Louis)

It's then that God decides to pity Harry and so the doors to the canteen open. It's supposed to be normal, people walk in the canteen all the time yet he finds himself forced by his body to look up. Harry hasn't seen this person before. A certainly very muscular person with blue eyes and a swag in his step.

Harry can't look away. Then he blushes because its probably weird to be scrutinizing a person so intensely but when he looks around he finds out he's not the only person that is staring.

The guy stops for a second, seems to be scanning the room filled with people from different backgrounds and races before striding forward.

To Louis' table.

Harry isn't sure how to feel about that.

"He looks like you Niall" Leigh Anne says with a grin.

"You've got to be joking" Niall says unamused.

"She is" Zayn says, "He's way more muscular than you. And better looking"

Everyone including Josh turns to look at Zayn who is suddenly realising that maybe he shouldn't have opened his mouth.

"Um, so you know I can get good muscles like him" Zayn says.

The answer seems to be enough as they all look away but Harry continues to stare with a raised eyebrow while Zayn scowls at him.

"What do you think of him, Taylor?" Eleanor asks.

"He looks like dinner" she says with a small smile.

"I think that means she likes him" Niall says while everyone rolls their eyes at him. Honestly the guy could be a bit slow sometimes.

***

"Shitt" Louis hisses.

"I know right we haven't seen him in ages" Jade agrees as Reece comes closer and closer, hundreds of pairs of eyes following his every step. "Also I hate all the attention"

"Well at least it'll boost our popularity" Liam says and Jade and Louis both turn to glare at the guy. "Whattt?" He wonders innocently. "Being popular wouldn't be so bad"

"Being popular is stupid. I'd rather be who I am right now" Jade says and then suddenly grins as if she's won a trophy or something. "No really I'm really, really proud of who I am"

"Good for you" Louis says dryly more focused on the person approaching.

"You know..we could still run" Liam suggests.

"Oh please. We have nothing to run for. He's the one that stopped being friends with us for no reason" Jade scoffs.

For no reason. Except that Louis knows the reason. Except he doesn't say anything. Probably never will. We he live in this dark smelly closet for the rest of the his school life?

Probably.

But does he want to?

No of course not. He's just afraid of peoples reactions. He remembers when they were looking at homosexuality and everyone had gone 'ewww!' 'two guys kissing is disgusting!' and the ever popular one 'God hates gays!!' Which isn't true because God loves everyone. Equally and unconditionally. And even though the homophobic twats shouldn't affect him he's pretty sure they will.

How would his family react? His mother who is always going on about how she wants him to get married to a beautiful young woman and give him grandchildren. He won't be able to give her biological grandchildren. Won't be able to give his sisters niece or nephews. How would they feel about that?

His two best friends who have always been there for him through thick and thin? Would they suddenly just vanish? How would Harry react? Would he totally block Louis out of his life. And Gemma? His new girl second best friend.

Maybe staying in the closet is better. For now at least.

Louis' interrupted out of his thoughts by that familiar presence. That presence that he used to love being near. It now feels strangely uncomfortable.

"Hey" Reece says and its only one word but its enough to make Louis want to go running out of here.

Jade doesn't look like she'll be saying anything any time soon and Louis certainly isn't talking.

So Liam takes charge. And Louis is glad that Liam isn't beating around the bush as the first thing he says is "What are you doing here?"

"We moved back into the neighbourhood. My old house had rats, hey do you wanna hear a funny story-"

"Save it, Reece" Jade says, putting up a firm hand. "Listen you can't just ignore us for practically ages and then suddenly waltz back expecting us to welcome you with open arms. What happened to you Reece?"

Louis feels Reece's eyes shift in his direction and Louis really, really wants the ground to swallow him up or something. Just something. Because he hates how his heart is responding to having Reece this close to him. Its sort of overwhelming.

"Well why don't you ask Louis?" Reece says and Louis really wants to slap him, or do worse. He's also aware that everyone is still staring at them. So he tries to keep his voice level down to the minimum, "Reece, I don't think we should talk about this"

"Why not? The fact that I just wanted to show you how much I lov-"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" Louis hisses aware of Liam and Jade staring at him curiously and well everyone. Even the dinner ladies seemed to have stopped to see the commotion. No no no its too public.

Louis gets up grabbing Reece's arm before dragging him to the toilets. He knows how weird it seems but in that moment he doesn't really care.

As soon as they get inside, Louis checking no one else is inside- no one is- before pushing Reece into a corner, which is tough as Reece is quite strong.

"So you wanna get rough now?" Reece says with a small smirk.

"No-"

But Reece has already brought their lips together and Louis lets it happen, just for a few seconds just to see if he's been missing out on anything and it turns out that he hasn't. Even Zayn kisses better.

Louis pulls away.

"See, there! you're first kiss how was it?"

"That wasn't my first kiss" Louis says. "I've kissed someone else"

Reece frowns at that. "Oh. Well at least I'll be your first then..unless you've done that as well?"

"No I haven't but-"

"Great. Lets go to yours after school. I'm sure you're mum will be happy to see me again. Bet she missed me, and your sisters as well I bet they missed me too"

"Reece I broke up with you!" Louis winces at how loud and cold his voice sounds in the quiet toilets. A tap is dripping somewhere and Louis just has to turn it off because he's that kind of person.

A pause.

"Yes, I know that Louis" Reece says.

"So then what are you trying to do?"

"I still love you" Reece says as if its the most simplest thing in the world.

Maybe it is.

"But. Why?"

"Because you're funny and kind. And smart. And a good friend and trustworthy and- and so, so beautiful Louis. You're so so beautiful. Remember I used to tell you that all the time?"

Louis does remember. But he doesn't want to.

  
"See you do remember, Louis. I know you do. I know you want us together"

"But I broke up with you" Louis says a bit softer this time.

"Only because I didn't touch you like this..." Reece's hands trail down to the waistband of Louis' trousers. "Or kiss you like this" he places a quick kiss to Louis' lips. "I can do that now. I was just a bit scared. I can do anything you want me to do, I can be anything you want me to be" He wraps his arms around Louis' waist pulling him in closer and Louis gets a scent of a smell that is purely Reece. "Please" Reece whispers.

Of bloody course that's when the bathroom door opens and by the expression on Reece's face it isn't anyone he knows. So not Jade or Liam. But then again Jade was  girl.

Louis glances in the long big huge exposing mirrors and his heart literally thumps as he sees those familiar curls and green eyes. Quicker than a wink he finds himself untangling himself from Reece's strong arms.

"Harry" he says turning around.

"Louis" Harry says but there's no humour in his voice just a very unreadable expression.  "I was worried about you" Harry says taking a step closer. "Why'd you leave like that?"

Louis hesitates.

"It's okay you don't have to explain. It's none of my business" his eyes flick over to Reece but the two don't say anything to each other.

"So, um I'll talk to you later..or something. You can come round my place today" Louis says.

"Well actually me and Louis were-"

"No we're not!" Louis snaps.

Reece sighs.

"Yeah okay..see you later" Harry says before leaving.

"What a jerk" Reece says.

"Hey, he's my friend"

"Your friend that doesn't even have the decency to say hello to me"

"Well to be fair you didn't say anything either"

"Why are on his side?"

"I'm just saying" Louis says dodging the question.

"Whatever. Can you just give me a chance? Please I know you probably don't like me right now but please I want us to fall in love again. So what do you say can you give me a chance?"

Louis sighs. "Fine. Whatever. But you'll have to make up with my friends first"

"Sure easy I'll just tell Jade that her clothes are awesome and watch all the footie matches and discuss it with Liam. Sorted"

Louis can't help but chuckle. "So hows your family? Hows Darcy? And your dad?"

"They're both fine. Dads been on a lot of dating websites recently I don't get why he just can't be content with us"

"Maybe he needs a lover. Someone to have sex with at night to put it bluntly. Obviously you two can't fill in that section"

"Yeah I guess" Reece says. "Hey lets head back to the canteen I'm starving. The head teacher said the food is absolutely delicious here. "

Louis snorts because that is a huge fat lie.

As they walk back to their table Louis doesn't miss how Harry stares at him, something dark and green filling the usual normal shade.

It sends shivers down his spine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So tell me what you think. Love ya. xx


	11. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for the update! Thanks so much for all kudos and comments it makes me so happy xx

Chapter Eleven

Regardless of Louis constantly saying no, Reece still ends up walking home with him that day.

The walk home is sort of nice except that Reece tends to talk a lot. And maybe Louis wouldn't mind just walking home in a bit of relaxed companionable silence, like when he walks home with Harry, for example. Where was Harry anyway?

"-So then the security guard told us to get out and we told them to bog off!"

"Oh really?" Louis raises an eyebrow even though he has absolutely no idea what Reece is talking about. "How _totally badass_ "

"Your sarcasm infuriates me" Reece says. "Alright so I'll stop talking about my experiences. Enlighten me with your life, dear Louis"

"Stop acting weird" Louis grumbles. "Just talk to me normally"

"Alright alright. So has anything interesting happened to you?"

"Well I went to a high school party a couple of weeks ago" Because a high school party is about as interesting as Louis' life gets.

"Oh. Is that it? "

"What do you mean ?"

Reece shrugs. "I just thought you'd have done lots of interesting things"

"Nah not really"

"Have you ever gotten kicked out of the movies before? Stole from a shop? Played knock down ginger? "

"What's knock down ginger?" Louis wonders.

"You haven't lived mate" Reece blinks at him. "How funny that you were the more bad one in our relationship and yet you're not even..bad."

"I just got roped into studying a lot more. And now it's kind of become my life"

"That's so sad"

"No it's not. It just means that I'll be able to get into the top universities"

"You're too young to be thinking about university"

"No I'm not, I'm 17!"

"Exactly way too young. That also reminds me that I need to get you a belated birthday present"

"Thanks but you don't have to" Louis says.

"Of course I do" Reece insists. "I'm trying to win you back remember?"

Oh yeah. Louis gives him a small smile not really wanting to say anything on that subject. Then he remembers something very important  "I just remembered you got to keep your mouth shut about the relationship between us cause-"

"Yeah yeah I know. You're not out to your family yet. That's alright I'll just hold your hand under the table" Reece gives him a smirk before the two of them turn into into Louis' road. "Just as I remembered" Reece comments.

"Yeah I guess. But a bit more dirtier. " Louis shrugs.

"Are you guys still wary of that old lady-what's her name again- Miss Ross?"

"Actually she moved away. We've got new neighbours now " Louis says.

Harry.

And Gemma and their mum Anne of course.

"Cool I want to meet them" Reece says.

"Umm" but Reece is already taking the 5 meter gap that separates them from Harry's front door and is knocking. Louis trudges slowly behind smiling a little as he sees that Gemma has answered the door. Gemma is very, very pretty. She looks even more prettier in the soft primrose dress she's wearing now.

To be frank the whole Styles family were beautiful.

"Lucy" she greets Louis. "And who's this?"

"I'm Reece" he puts a hand forward indicating a handshake.

Gemma laughs "Don't be silly, Reece. Handshakes are totally 20th century. I'm Gemma by the way. So what are you guys doing here? Here to see Harry or something?"

"Harry." Reece says. It's supposed to be a question but comes out like a statement. A flat statement. He's obviously making the connection in his head. "Toilet Harry?"

"What?" Gemma looks a bit confused.

"They met in the toilets" Louis explains.

"Oh well in that case, okay. Yeah he's my brother"

"Oh right"

"Sooo" Gemma says eyebrows raised, an amused expression playing on her lips.

"We'll just go now. Reece just wanted to say hi. "

"Okay. See you later." Gemma grins at them one last time before closing the door.

"She's nice" Reece admits. "But her brother? Not so much"

"You hardly know him" Louis scoffs.

"First impressions are everything Louis. "

Louis rolls his eyes. "Kay lets go to my place. But you're only staying for half an hour and not a second more okay?"

"Okay"

Not okay. Reece ends up staying for up to three hours. Louis ends up counting over the dinner table. His sisters didn't even remember him which Louis found hilarious but then Reece got to know each of them and now they absolutely adore him, maybe even more than Louis which makes him a tad jealous, just a tad and Reece laps up the attention like a fucking needy little dog. Like the one on Jade's street that ugly little mother fucker. The dog not Reece- The thing had tried biting his leg last time he went down there- but Reece isn't really different. Charming Louis' mum and saying that she's an absolute inspiration for bringing up 5 children by herself. His mum loves him even more now if that's even possible. Probably isn't.

Reece had taken 3 helpings of his mum's pasta just to see her smile which was very sweet in a way but annoying as he didn't feel bloated and just a small, minor burp escaped from his lips which all the girls didn't mind. Which was weird because they absolutely hated it when Louis burped.

After a while they had headed to Louis' room and Reece had actually asked if Louis wanted to have sex with him so of course Louis replied no because he wasn't ready. And also Louis wanted to lose his virginity to someone he loved and he didn't love Reece.

So instead Reece talks while Louis studies which works for both of them as Reece likes hearing the sound of his own voice and Louis likes to get work done.

He's revising for geography when something significant happens.

"I like your curtains" Reece says walking over to his window and draping one of the curtains round his face. "This remind you from a scene in Sound of Music?"

"Yeah. Except that Fraulein Maria rocked it better"

"Remember we used to watch it all the time just to see the marriage scene and I remember you telling me how much you hated it when really I know you loved it"

"Yeah I guess you're right. Its just infectious. In a totally good way : __Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favorite things"

"Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels. Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles. Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings. These are a few of my favorite things." Reece twirls in the curtains acting ridiculously gay and Louis can't help but smile. It's nice to be around someone who knows your gay and its even nicer when that person happens to be gay themselves. They won't and can't judge you because you're both the same. "Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes. Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes. Silver white winters that melt into springs, these are a few of my favourite things. When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling- Christ that guy's going at it"

Louis looks up from his position on the bed wondering what on earth Reece is talking about. And also how dare he ruin that song. Louis finishes it in his head just do it justice before crawling off the bed to go and join Reece by his place at the window.   
At first he's just looking into Harry's room and looks at Reece sceptically. "Look" Reece urges and Louis turns back with a sigh. Nothing.

And then a flash of movement. Or to be more specific. A flash of curls. Louis should've looked away then. But he doesn't. And because he doesn't he sees Harry thrusting his dick into some girl who's still wearing her bra.

Oh.

Louis forgot he was into girls.

"Hey..isn't that Harry?" Reece says.

Louis nods slowly. He gulps. Friends shouldn't really catch friend fucking someone. It was weird wasn't it? That's got to be the reason why Louis gets a weird feeling in his guts.

"I just got the best idea, Louis"

"What is it?" Louis sighs.

"We should video this."

"What? Are you crazy Reece! That's a stupid idea!"

Reece shrugs and both of them just stare for a few minutes.

"This is weird. We shouldn't just be watching it's kind of invading his privacy" Louis says.

"Well maybe he should close his blinds then" Reece replies. "Also its like we're watching free porn"

Louis doesn't say anything.

"The sexual tension right?" Reece says giving him a soft nudge.

"What? No stop Reece. Listen I think you should go I've got to study and..stuff"

"Alright, then. But give me a kiss first"

"No Reece"

"I won't leave until you give me a kiss"

"When we get downstairs"

Louis leads Reece down the stairs and kisses him briskly after checking if anyone was around of course.

The last thing he hears before he shuts the front door is "I'm going to get you back, Louis"

When he turns around he's a bit shocked to see Lottie. She's smiling sweetly at him.

"Nice to see your making friends" she teases.

"Oh give it a rest"

"He's sort of cute isn't he?"

"I thought you fancied Harry"

"I do but there's no reason I can't fancy Reece as well. It's called multitasking"

"Alright whatever helps you sleep at night"

She rolls her eyes before heading upstairs. Louis stares after her not for the first time wondering how she would react if she knew he was gay.

***

The geography test is the next day. Louis gets there ten minutes early after revising non stop with Liam at lunch break. They were both prepared.

As the class fills up Louis wonders for the first time how he's going to act around Harry. Should he just forget it? No its totally impossible to remove that image from your mind. The way the girl was tugging his hair and how Harry's eyes were tightly shut a blissed out look on his face-

"Hey Louis"

Louis glances up briefly seeing Harry dressed in the trademark white shirt and black jeans. His curls look a bit more messed up than usual and Louis blushes because he knows why. "Hello" he replies back managing to flash a small smile.

"I like what you're wearing" Harry says.

Louis had finally started dressing more..urban shall we say. He felt more comfortable if he was honest and judging by the way Reece's eyes had flashed at him that morning he was pretty sure he looked good.

"Thanks"

Harry nods at him before taking his things out of his bag.

They don't talk after that.

Until about halfway through the test when Louis only has around 5 questions left and feels Harry nudging his leg.

"I'm not telling you the answers, Harry" Louis whispers before glancing at the teacher who is oblivious to them.

"I wasn't going to ask about that" Harry whispers back "Who's this Reece guy? Everyone's been talking about him all day"

"I don't think now's the time to talk about that"

"Tell me"

"No"

"Pleeeassee"

"I'll tell you when we finish the test"

"Tell me now"

"Harry stop"

"Pleaseeee"

"No"

"For Fuck's sake tell me Louis!!"

Everyone looks at them. Including the teacher.

"Harry Styles. Louis Tomlinson. I hope you're not cheating"

None of them answer. Louis still reeling from Harry's outburst, Harry still looking at him.

"Hand me your test papers this instant! And detention for both of you after school"

Louis snaps out of his daze. "Oh no miss. You can't do that. I've never got a detention before!"

"Well then this will be your first. I can't say I'm surprised for Harry, but Louis. I expected more"

"But Miss-"

"Not another word"

***

They're the only two in the cold huge room. 5 chairs separating them.

The teachers' fallen asleep which Louis has to say is very disgraceful.

"This is all your fault" Louis says. When Harry doesn't reply it makes him more pissed off. "My geography test. I'm going to get an F now! I never get F's Harry!-"

"Calm down Louis."

"Calm down? You're telling me to calm down? How the fuck am I supposed to calm down?-"

"If you shut up then maybe we can sneak out of here" Harry says.

Louis shuts up. Not that he's very pleased with the idea. There's lots of things that could go wrong. The most obvious being that the teacher wakes up and they get...expelled or something. Okay maybe he's exaggerating. They might get another detention.  Which is still bad.

Harry walks over to one of the big windows opening it. It's wide so they could probably fit through it.

But they're on the first floor. Not that its that high or anything. But still.

Harry's already standing over the ledge and Louis' eyes widen. "Wait Harry stop! You're going to die, this is a bad idea-"

Harry jumps. Louis holds his breath waiting for the sound of bones cracking against concrete.

He doesn't hear that. He looks out of the window and see's Harry sitting on the floor laughing. "This isn't funny" Louis snaps.

"Sorry, I know. Just, its like an 8 foot jump"

"That's a lot!"

"Listen Louis. You need to jump"

"I will die Harry. And you'll go to prison for being the cause of it"

"How am I the cause of it?- You know what it doesn't matter just jump. I'll catch you"

"I'm too heavy"

"No you're not, Louis. Stop saying that. I'm strong anyways. I will catch you"

"Promise?"

"Promise"

"Promise? Promise?"

"Promise. Promise."

"Promise? Promise? Promise?"

"Louis" Harry says. "Stop it. Just jump"

Louis climbs up to the ledge slowly.

"If it helps you can close your eyes"

"No bloody way am I closing my eyes" Louis says.

"Alright. It was just a suggestion. Jump."

So Louis jumps. For a few seconds he's flying and then he hits something- not the concrete though. Something warm and human. When he glances up he's met with green eyes. Why are they so green?

Harry smiles at him.

"You caught me" Louis says breathlessly.

"I promised didn't I?"

"Yeah you did"

"And I never break my promises"

Louis smiles back at him.

"C'mon then lets go" Harry says gently pushing Louis off him.

They get up and Louis notices how dirty Harry's clothes are.

"Are you sure it wasn't hard to catch me?"

"It was the same as a catching a feather. No trouble at all" Harry glances at him. "Sorry for what happened in geography.  I just wanted to know was all" he scratches his neck.

"I suppose it was alright. I'm still a bit pissed off but you basically saved my life so I'm sure I could forgive you"

Harry grins at him.

"And that was kind of awesome. It felt great"

Harry nods in agreement.

They talk about random stuff for the next 20 minutes and their footsteps seem to slow down as they approach their street and Louis doesn't really want to go inside his house and face studying and four sisters when he could just stay out here laughing with this curly haired creature who makes him smile a lot.

"So" Harry says when they're standing outside their houses.

Louis squints at Harry, noticing a blade of grass in his hair.

"You've got some grass right.." Louis tiny hands reach up and remove it "There. All better"

Harry stares at him for a bit and Louis realises how close they're standing. What the fuck is happening. Harry takes a step back. Then he smiles. But Louis knows its a fake one. "See you tomorrow then"

Louis blinks once before opening the door to his own house. He heads straight to his room, closing the curtains as he sees Harry shrugging of his clothes. Seriously fuck the people who made the houses this way. Louis doesn't want to have an clear view of Harry's room.

He jumps on his bed and groans. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooo. Lol. What do you think?


	12. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry pov.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back. Read. Bye.

Chapter Twelve

"Who the fuck are you" Harry demands shoving Reece against one of the walls down the maths corridor. So he could be violent at times, big deal at least he wasn't a murderer. So. He had been wondering this whole week why this new guy has started hanging out with Louis, his-what was Louis? His potential "virginity stealer" ? Now that just sounds..evil. He'd never really talked to lad or stood in his presence except for that time when Taylor had spent 20 unsuccessful minutes trying to flirt with Reece who said that he already had his eyes set on someone. And meanwhile Josh's heart cracked some more. It was a sad pitiful life wasn't it?

At this point Harry is pretty sure that Zayn is too infatuated with Liam to be focusing on their little bet. He caught them kissing in one of the cupboard rooms and Zayn's hands had been down Liam's shirt while Liam had just looked up at Harry with pleading eyes-don't tell anyone. So he didn't. Harry wasn't dumb he knows he doesn't actually need to continue with this, that Zayn's kind of already lost so why does he need to fuck Louis just to have the satisfaction of winning when he's almost won anyways? He could just forget about Louis and move on and not give two fucks and possibly fuck even more girls and hope his mum doesn't catch him. Louis' blue eyes flash somewhere in a dark corner of his mind and he turns his attention back to Reece who-the bloody basterd-isn't quaking in his boots like Harry would've wanted him too. He's just there, a small smile on his face which Harry just wants to punch right off. Unfortunately they are at school and Harry knows he could get expelled for pulling shit like that so he doesn't, instead he settles for another push, relishing at the sound of Reece's back hitting the hard walls. Take that you basterd.

"I'm Reece" he replies somewhat amusedly.

"Well I fucking know that you idiot!" Another shove. Another small smile from Reece. Different tactic. "How do you know Louis?"

Reece's small smile evens out to a full on grin "Do you really want to know?" The words are said so cunningly that Harry isn't sure anymore. What does Reece mean by that? He could mean absolutely anything. "I bet Louis wouldn't be happy to hear about this" it takes Harry a few seconds to realise that Reece just said something and then another few seconds to process what he just said. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is it a threat?

Harry narrows his eyes taking a step back because if he's honest he doesn't want Louis to know about..this.

"Thought so" Reece says smugly before winking and walking away.

Fuck him.

  
***

"So." Taylor starts. "A little birdie told me that your birthday's next week"

"In other words..?"

"Gemma told me" Taylor admits.

"How the hell do you know my sister?" Harry demands a little freaked out. He thought Taylor was over him but apparently not.

Taylor shrugs. "Looked around a bit"

"You're so creepy" Harry admits shaking his head pitifully. Taylor raises an eyebrow at him. "I don't know if you've noticed. But I have a crush on you" She says and Harry rolls his eyes because of course he knew that. It was so fucking obvious.

"Oh really? " he says sarcastically. "I never would have guessed" Then his eyes flick over to Josh looking worse than usual with bags under his eyes, food  barely touched-well it wasn't the nicest of things-and a forlorn expression painted on his face. He looked tired and utterly exhausted and not for the first time Harry felt a pang of sympathy for the guy. Yes he could be annoyingly obnoxious but he did have feelings. And in this case feelings for Taylor-for only God knows what reason-and Harry felt some kind of duty to make sure they end up together. Like the fucking cupid tribute act he was. "But you know what" he says speaking up. "I think someone else might like you"

"Really? Are they cute?" Taylor asks looking like an excited puppy and Harry finds that strange because isn't she like the most popular girl at school and doesn't that by default mean that lots of boys are crushing on you? Oh whatever.

"Depends on what your type is" Harry answers his eyes flickering in Josh's direction for about a second hoping Taylor gets the hint. She doesn't.

"Well I really like guys who are handsome-"

"Obviously" Leigh Anne interrupts rolling her eyes.

Taylor glares at her before continuing. "And confident about themselves. That's all really"

Well. Josh was good looking. And pretty confident. So already it was looking like a win win situation.

"So are you doing anything for your birthday?" Perrie asks suddenly.

"Well I wasn't really planning on doing anything. Maybe just hang with my mum and my sister for the whole day" Harry shrugs.

"Nonsense!" Niall claims with quite a loud yell startling Zayn who's eyes were glued to his phone. "We must all go somewhere. Like Westfield or something"

"Yeah that'd be cool" Perrie agrees.

"And you could invite Liam" Zayn says. "And Jade and Louis" he adds quickly realising how suspicious it sounded.

"Yeah alright whatever" Harry agrees. "We could go to the movies and then head to Nandos after"

"Sounds great" Niall says. "Nandos is me favourite"

"It's like everyone's favourite" Leigh Anne says.

"Actually I'm more of a Starbucks person" Eleanor admits.

"Of course you are" Leigh Anne sneers. "Eleanor says that any guy that doesn't take her to Starbucks on their first date isn't boyfriend material"

Zayn snorts. "Well in that case good luck being a single Pringle for the rest of your life"

"Oh Shutup Zayn. Everyone has a soul mate. I just haven't..found mine yet"

Soulmate. The person that the earth has destined you to be with. Harry wonders who his soulmate will be and whether he'll spend the rest of his life with them. Hopefully he will but he knows about divorces and shit and knows that it doesn't work out for everyone. Hopefully he's one of the exceptions. He remembers the day his dad left-well not really cause he fled during the night- but he remembers how his dad had been acting that day all spaced out and plain weird,lighting up a ciggie with every chance he got. Harry knew it was weird but didn't think much of it at the time. He didn't miss his dad in fact in a way it had made the three of them more stronger albeit Harry had gone off the rails a bit trying sex for the first time at fifteen. Not the best decision but at least he would be prepared for when it was actually time to do the deed with that oh so lucky special someone.

The bell rings.

***  
Harry isn't sure how it happened. He just knows that it was supposed to be a normal relaxed afternoon just hanging around and enjoying each others company. Harrys mum was at work and Gemma was out with friends so it was just the two of them. They were sprawled out, limbs stretching, on the sofa, Louis' head practically inches away from landing on Harry's left shoulder, watching four consecutive episodes of Come Dine with me.

"You alright lou?"Harry asks smiling amusedly at the smaller boy. The nickname had just slipped out of his mouth.

Louis smiles back. "Yeah. Absolutely fine. Just a bit tired."

"It's my birthday next week" Harry says. Then a second later he wonders why he just had to let Louis know that small detail.

"Oh really? Want me to get you a present?"

"Well you don't have to but it'd be nice if you did." Harry smirks. "I want 60 pounds and a cat"

"I'll get one of them crazy one's for ya, how does that sound?" Louis plays along.

"Amazing" Harry grins.

"You're amazing" Louis replies.

What.

Are they..is he..is Louis flirting with him? Louis smiles coyly at him before turning his attention back to the television. "She didn't wash her hands!" Louis accuses the current girl on screen with her hair tied back into a bun. "I would never eat her food. I wouldn't even go on the damn show. Anyone could put some kind of funny shit in your plate"

  
"I don't think anyone would do that, Louis." Harry says. "I mean if they really want that grand then they won't"

Louis shrugs. "Yeah I guess. So um i saw Reece today, as usual, but like he told me something"

"Oh really" Harry says slowly. The bloody basterd.

"Did you beat him up?"

"What! No. Of course I fucking didn't. He's lying!"

"Did you lay hands on him?"

"No-" but Harry stops because he did actually lay hands on him. After all he did push him. He makes the mistake of hesitating. Louis notices. "You have no fucking right to do that!" Louis says voice booming all around the walls and into Harry's eardrums. Harry winces. "He's my friend you know!" Louis continues.

"I know he just-"

"Don't fucking say anything. Just Shutup. Oh God I can't believe this. I thought he was lying-I hoped he was lying. I thought you and I were good friends and you would never do anything like that but. I just-I don't get why you did it. Reece hasn't done anything wrong to you, he's a reasonably nice guy. So is this how it is yeah you're just gonna beat all my friends up are ya, you dickhead..."

Harry doesn't hear any more. All he see's is the way Louis' lips move when he talks-which he's never really noticed before. Pink and thin and very very pouty. Those fucking lips look kissable. So Harry does it. Grabs Louis face which fits smugly in between his hands and kisses him. It's one sided at first and Louis isn't kissing back and Harry hates that because then it somehow looks as if Harry is the one harassing him-which is sort of true. All he wanted was for Louis to shut up. Then as if in slow motion-this whole thing is like a fucking movie-he feels Louis' lips moving against his own.  The kiss is wet and a mixture of tongues as Harry prods his tongue against Louis' lips. Louis' fingers wound their way into Harry's rough curls, his fingers tugging gently. Harry tries not to moan with how good this feels.

Harry grabs Louis onto his lap so that Louis is straddling him all the while their lips never breaking contact. It is very very hard to ignore the fact that their groins are practically inches away from touching. Harry wraps his arms around Louis, feeling the boy gasp into his mouth as he's pulled closer. Why the fuck hadn't Harry tried this earlier? Everything feels so rights..starting with the way the kiss is and ending with the way their bodies fit so perfectly together. This isn't supposed to be perfect. Its supposed to be decent, manageable. This is all for a bet. This isn't "real". Harry doesn't suddenly feel so great. "Louis" he mutters gently trying to push him off.

"Hmfgph" Louis replies not getting the hint. Why was Louis kissing back anyway? What did that even mean?

"Louis" he says again this time more firmly.

"Shutup and kiss me" Louis grumbles.

"No I-" Louis lips find his again and its rougher a bit more heated. "Listen Louis I can't" he says, Louis pulls away looking slightly irritated.

"Then why did you"

"I-I don't know. "

Louis stares at him for a good five minutes before sighing. "What the fuck are we doing? This is stupid, you're not even gay or anything. I'm sorry Harry, I just got a bit carried away" Louis sighs.

"It's, fine. Its my fault. "

"Right. Lets not do that again"

Harry doesn't say anything because he's pretty sure they will be kissing again soon. And not because he wants to or anything but because its a compulsory part of this bet thingie. And he's that much closer. At least now he has an idea of how it feels to kiss Louis and it's definitely not horrible.

It's progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos? xx


	13. 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like this chappie, hope you guys do too! xx

Chapter Thirteen

Louis can't stop thinking about it. And that's not really his fault..is it? He wasn't the one that had initiated the kiss, Harry did. And then had pulled away after about a minute..which didn't make any sense, at least not to him.

The dinner table was quiet today, all the girls were pretty quiet and his mum didn't look up for talking at all. Louis had never really been a huge fan of silence. So, "How was your day, ladies?" He asks earning a look from Lottie.

"Since when did you care?" She snorts.

"Hey, at least I'm trying which is more than I can say for you" Louis snaps.

"Well if you really want to know" Jay says, "My day consisted of sweaty people with damp underarms in trains and smelly chairs. "

"Ew that's horrible mum" Felicity says, wrinkling her nose. "I met a boy today"

Everyone looks up.

Felicity continues. "His name is Shane and he's got really nice hair. "

"Felicity.." Jay speaks up "How many times have I told you that boys are a no no untill you're eighteen."

"Around a million times" Felicity answers."Besides he's gay"

Louis is pretty sure his heart stops beating. He freezes, his fork halfway towards his mouth, suspended in the oxygen surrounding them. He needs to chill, its not like they said _he_ was gay. Felicity had just met a guy,was all. Who's name was Shane. Who happened to be gay. Just like Louis.

Nobody says anything for a while.

"What does gay mean?" Daisy asks curiously and Louis watches as his mum's eyes widen.

"Happy." Lottie blurts. "It means happy. Haha I'm so gay! See, happy."

Real smooth, Charlotte. Not.

"Okay then. "Daisy says nodding slowly. "I'm gay too"

Jesus Christ. What the fuck had Lottie just done.

"But honey, you probably shouldn't tell anyone that you're happy" His mum says.

"hmm. Why not?"

"Becausee..." Jay trails off looking at Lottie, Felicity and Louis, her three oldest children, for help. Though she probably shouldn't depend on Lottie seeing as the girl had definitely made things worse.

Felicity shrugs hopelessly looking guilty for bringing up the subject.

"Because it's a secret" Lottie says. "Everyone is happy..secretly" she says very slowly trying to get the message across. Daisy nods as if it makes sense and then goes back to her dinner chatting to Phoebe about My Little Pony or something like that.

So. Louis was secretly 'happy' as well.

Nobody brings up Shane again. Its forgotten, but not really, it's there at the back of all of their minds, wanting to be forgotten but not quite there yet.

After dinner Louis heads to Felicity's room wanting to ask her about Shane. Because if she isn't disgusted, doesn't think its wrong then maybe..just maybe he can tell her. It would be nice just to get it out there to someone, to anyone. Instead of bottling it up.

"Hey" he says entering without knocking, grateful that she doesn't seem angry about it. She's reading a book-Diary of a Wimpy kid, seems like everybody's reading that these days.

"Hey boo, what's up?" She asks.

"Just wanted to ask about Shane"

"Um okay. Well shoot"

"So. Was he like, shy to tell you or.." Louis trails off not really sure where he's going with this.

"I met him in my Spanish class. He's hot so I was flirting with him and then suddenly he goes-I'm not interested-and I'm like what the hell? How can he not be interested,I mean look at me." And Louis isn't going to lie. His sister is definitely a catch."So he just says, I'm not interested in your gender as if it's all casual and that. I wasn't like freaked out or anything, in fact he's pretty cool, besides I always wanted a gay best friend."

"Hmm" Louis nods. "So you're okay with gay people?"

"Yeah sure. Hey..why so curious?"

"Just wondering" Louis shrugs. "Alright well I just leave you to it. G'night."

"Night" she replies as Louis leaves the room feeling a whole lot better. So he hadn't told her-but it didn't mean he was never going to.

He heads to his room, intent on going to sleep but is caught up by Harry's window. He's got a towel wrapped round his waist and...God Louis can see his chest and..wow okay. So Louis is staring, so what? Harry's only got two tattoos, from what Louis can see, one is in small writing, too far away for Louis to make out and what looks like an 'A' on his arm. Louis is curious, he's never met anyone with tatts especially not at the age they were.

And then Harry's towel drops.

Louis should look away, he really fucking should because its not right that he sees Harry's private part without his consent and also it feels a bit fucking creepy. So Louis looks away. Just. Harry really needs to get curtains, seriously, it is now a very serious matter and Louis' embarrassed to say the least when he heads to bed with a boner that night,  not bothering to do anything about it.

***

Louis ends up wanking in the shower, with thoughts of two men fucking in his head. Because thinking of Harry, would just be weird. Even if the guy did have a good body.

Louis catches up with Harry in the hallways of the school, determined to not make any of this awkward.

"Hello Harold" he drawls slapping a platonic thump on Harry's shoulder. Harry has strong shoulders. It sort of hurts. Harry kind of smiles before greeting him back.

"Hey" Harry says. "So um, me and my mates are going Westfield on Saturday and they wanted you to come."

 _They wanted you to come._ Didn't Harry want Louis to come? Not that Louis was stressing over it too much. It wasn't a big deal. It was just words.

"Yeah suree. As long as my friends are coming I don't want it to be like a third wheel sort of thing"

"Yeah, of course not. Just bring around 20 pounds yeah?"

Louis nods. "Sure."

"Hey, so you should sit with us at lunch" Harry says.

And oh.

"Why?" Louis asks hoping its not as rude as it sounds.

"Taylor said"

Louis watches Harry's expression carefully, and staring straight ahead. Okay Harry is definitely acting weird.

"Let me just recap. " Louis says carefully. "Taylor..same Taylor who I'm sure really, really dislikes me told me to sit at their table."

"She doesn't dislike you per say. She's just a bit weary is all. Besides, don't you want to?"

Harry is definitely lying.

"Yeah I guess" Louis shrugs trying not to feel hurt by the fact that Harry would lie to him.

"Harry!" A person who Louis recognized as Taylor calls Harry over. Harry waves at Louis before heading over to her.

Suddenly Louis' vision is darkened and someone's hands are covering his eyes. Louis knows exactly who it is.

"Guess who" the voice sing songs.

"A bit lame, don't you think Reece?" Louis says in response.

"Ah you know me too well" Reece grins at him while Louis stares blankly back. Reece _doesn't have_ curly hair.

"Hey so I was wondering, if me and you could go out this Saturday." Reece says.

"As in a date?"

"Well when you put it like that..."

"I'm busy anyways" Louis interrupts.

Reece features harden a little. "Doing what?"

"It's Harry's birthday. So. A group of us are going out."

"Harry." Reece repeats. To be honest that's probably the only part of that sentence that he'd heard. Harry.

"Yes Harry" Louis says. "He's my friend"

Friend who he'd kissed.

"Did I tell you he beat me up?"

"Reece we both know he didn't do that. He pushed you."

"Same thing" Reece waves off. "Did I also tell you he asked me how i knew you? Gets on my nerves, he does. Wish you'd stay away from him"

"As much as I appreciate the concern. I can hang out with whoever I want. " Louis says.

Reece shrugs. "Alright. Well we can hang out after right?"

"Okay" Louis says, hoping his his voice doesn't show how reluctant he is. "What are we going to do?"

"You can come over to my place. They'd be happy to see you."

"They still remember me?" Louis wonders. 

"Yeah" Reece replies softly. "How could anyone forget about you? " Reece is more appealing when he's not being a jealous prick.

"Okay, yeah I guess" Louis says.

"Great" Reece grins. "So now, where's the rest of our squad?"

"Well Liam's over there" Louis says pointing to where Liam is leaning back against the wall talking to... _Zayn_? What's that all about? Liam kind of looks spaced out and if Louis didn't know any better he'd say that Liam was turned on..? The pair were probably discussing boobs that was the only logical reason.

"Leeyum" he yells causing Liam to jump. He looks all flustered and a bit scared.

"Oh hey Louis" he replies. Louis' eyes flicker over to Zayn who smiles quickly at him. Louis smiles back , not exactly sure what terms they're on. "What are you guys talking about?" Louis asks.

"Umm.." Liam trails off hopelessly turning to Zayn.

"Porn" Zayn replies, quite calm, though Louis hears his voice crack.

"Right. Verrry interesting" Louis says. "Okay well, didn't mean to interrupt. See you later"

Zayn smiles at him again before whispering something into Liam's ear which causes Liam to blush.

The fuck?

***

"It's raining" Niall comments.

"Fantastic observation skills" Louis says sarcastically earning a grin from Niall. This is nice, being friends with Niall is nice even if he can be a little dumb sometimes.

"Shh!" Miss Kedge says from her desk and for the first time Louis feels slightly annoyed at her. Niall rolls his eyes and its a few seconds before Louis does the same.

"Did you just do what I thought you did?" Niall asks in disbelief, referring to how Louis had rolled his eyes.

"Yup. Your eyes are not deceiving you " Louis jokes.

"Badman like Louis" Niall says nudging Louis suggestively, so naturally Louis bursts out laughing.

They get a detention but Louis thinks its worth it.

***

"I can't believe you got a detention" Jade is saying as they make their way to the canteen, her huge umbrella sheltering the three of them.

"It's not my first, you know" Louis says watching amusedly as Jade gasps.

"So how many times then?" She asks.

"Second time"

"Yeah" Liam agrees. "He got a detention for cheating with Harry"

"Geez Louis. No offence to Harry but he's not exactly a bright box. Why cheat with him?" Jade wonders.

"It wasn't cheating. He was asking me something and miss overheard" Louis explains.

"Weren't you angry?"

"Well initially I was" Louis smiles at the memory of Harry catching him from his jump. Then stops smiling as he's aware. So he's been feeling this way for some time now. He's not dumb, he knows that he's got a crush on Harry. There, he's actually admitted it. There's nothing wrong with a crush. Its totally normal. And hey, at least he knows how he feels now. He knows. "But then I got over it" he finishes lamely.

After getting their lunch Liam and Jade are about to head over to their usual table but then Louis informs them that Harry invited them to sit with his friends. Louis doesn't miss the way his friends eyes light up like light bulbs.

The table as small as it is, is hardly enough for the eight people that sit there how much more an additional three people. But they make it work--somehow.

Louis ends up next Harry and Leigh Anne, who smiles quite warmly at him and it's then that Louis realises they forgot to wait for Reece--he couldn't really care less because his and Harry's knees are knocking under the table and it feels really pleasant.

"So what film are we watching?" Perrie asks.

"Well Harry should choose cause you know, its his birthday and that." Zayn says.

Harry shrugs. "We'll decide when we get there."

"Are you gonna eat that?" Niall asks pointing to Louis' soggy sausages which he hasn't touched.

"Umm no?" Louis replies.

"Well pass it over here then" Niall urges.

"But, it's disgusting mate."

"He'll eat anything. " Eleanor says matter of factly.

"Yep, anything and everything" Niall agrees already tucking in, Louis watches in slight disgust. He feels Harry's eyes on him, but can't find himself to look up. How are you supposed to act when you have a crush on someone? There should be a book on this sort of thing, there probably is. Louis needs to head to the library after.

***

Louis heads home quickly not waiting for Harry or Reece--definitely not. He wants a bit of peace and quiet and the moment.

Home is nice. And they eat dinner nobody bringing up the Shane incident.

Louis goes straight to bed after doing homework desperately trying not to look out of his window and..to that place.

If he did he would have seen Harry staring at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of Reece? Of Harry? Of Ziam and Jerrie? Don't be afraid to express your thoughts. Update will be coming soon.


	14. 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your kudos and comments it really lights up my day! xx

Chapter Fourteen

  
Louis was going shopping. For clothes. And it absolutely wasn't just because he wanted to look nice on Harry's birthday.  
 

Okay so maybe it was. But really Louis shouldn't be ashamed to admit that--plus looking good was always a good thing. Maybe it would even help Harry notice him, well Harry had already noticed him, but like notice notice him, if you know what he means.

  
And yes Louis' chances aren't positively impossible because something tells him that Harry isn't just into girls-it puts hope in Louis.

  
Things have sorta changed too. Louis can never say the right thing in front of him and ends up looking..weird. Like for instance, that one time when Harry had offered to buy pizza for him after school.

  
("You hungry?" Harry asks, bumping his shoulder against Louis' own--which requires for him to lean down quite a lot which just goes to show how short Louis really is.

  
"Er No" Louis replies, when really he is. The last thing he'd had was Cornflakes that morning.

  
"But you didn't eat at lunch" Harry counters and Louis is about to come up with a snappy response but then he wonders how Harry would have known that he hadn't eaten at lunch.

  
"How'd you know?" Louis asks, a little perplexed at how Harry's eyes seem to widen a little before he takes--quite a huge--step away, stretching the distance between them. Louis tries not to seem offended.

  
Harry shrugs. "I'm buying pizza and I'd just feel weird if I didn't get you any."

  
Louis shakes his head stubbornly, totally insisting that he doesn't want--doesn't need any, mainly for the fact that if he allowed Harry to buy him pizza he's pretty sure he'll start falling hard.

  
They enter the shop, Louis hanging back hoping to make it clear that he doesn't want any. Harry still orders for him anyway. "What topping do you want Louis?"

  
"I'm not having any." Louis says.

  
"Pepperoni it is" Harry says and whilst Louis should really want to slap him, he actually kind of wants to kiss him.

  
This isn't good.)

  
He's in the men aisle trying to decide whether a navy blue shirt or a sky blue shirt would bring out his eyes best--after all there was that time where Harry had said he had nice eyes--when someone bumps into him.

  
Louis doesn't mind--no actually that would be a lie because he actually does. He spins round just to see a girl with black hair and nice brown eyes smiling kindly at him. "I'm sorry." She apologised. "Just been a bit preoccupied." She waves a hand towards the expensive looking iPhone she's holding.

  
"Waiting for a text from someone?" Louis asks out of interest and so what if he's being nosey?

  
"A guy, actually" she responded. And of course--of fucking course it was a guy, rubbing all her hetrosexualness in Louis' face.

  
"Oh right." Louis nods.

  
"His sister promised he'd called. I've been waiting for a while, now." She elaborated. Louis manages a nod somehow wanting to politely end the conversation, but it seems like she has other plans. "What is it with you guys? I mean after sex you just forget about the girl. Like it's more than that you know."

  
The fuck? Louis didn't ask for this. He had simply come here to shop and here was some random chick laying all her problems on him.

  
"Listen-"

  
"Kendall" she supplies.

  
"Listen Kendall" he rephrases. "There are two types of men in the world. Ones that don't call after the under-the-covers business and the ones that stalk you after, now I don't know about you but if I were a girl I'd much rather prefer the first type."

  
"I totally disagree! I mean any girl would, he's just--he's so bloody gorgeous and he said all these really nice things about me-"

  
"Kendall" Louis says trying to prevent a rant of this guy.

  
"-and his hair is just so soft and it bounces perfectly when he was--"

  
"Jesus Christ, Shutup!" Louis says slightly louder than he would have liked. "TMI okay? I don't need to know--I don't want to know, just. Just no okay? Look if you really want my advice then I suggest you just forget about him. He's not worth it okay?"

  
Kendall blinks at him for a second. "You wouldn't say that if you knew him."--Well good thing Louis doesn't know this guy then-- "And for the record, I'd go with the lighter shirt I'd bet it look really good on you."

  
And well Louis decides to go along with her decision.

  
***

  
When Saturday comes Louis realises that he's actually kind of excited. Besides, it should be fun, going to Westfield with your friends (and Taylor).

  
Also it was Harry's birthday.  So it should be a good day. The first thing he does is head next door with Phoebe and Daisy-who've baked a cake. (well it was mainly Jay baking and Louis testing it every now and then)

  
Anne answers the door all smiley and nice and even though they've only met once before Louis feels really close to her.

  
"We baked Harry a cake!" Phoebe squeals beaming as Anne carefully takes the tin from her.

  
"Well technically you guys didn't bake it" Louis says nudging his glasses up a bit from their resting place on the bridge of his nose.

  
"Well technically, you didn't either." Phoebe retorts back and Louis raises an eyebrow not aware that his sister was picking up on his quick comebacks.

  
"Ooh sassy" Anne says,laughing.

  
"But not as sassy as me right? I'm like the king of sass." Louis insists.

  
"But I'm getting there." Phoebe says and Louis snorts, "Do you even know what sassy means?"

  
"No but it sounds cool" 

  
Louis rolls his eyes which Daisy is insisting on seeing the birthday boy. Louis doesn't argue with that statement, because hey he kind of wants to see Harry as well.

  
"Harry!" Anne yells up the stairs before inviting them inside the living room. Gemma's there, feet propped up against a stool, arms folded, hair let loose. She glances up at there arrival sweeping up Daisy and Phoebe before jumping on Louis, sending him down to the floor.

  
"Louis I think you're getting taller."

  
"Really?" Louis asks, wondering if she's joking or not.

  
"Yeah like about an inch" Gemma teases, giggling as Louis slaps her arm playfully. Gemma finds her revenge by tickling him , smirking as Louis laughs. When Louis looks up he finds Anne staring at them fondly. Too much feels. Too fluffy.

  
So of course that's when Harry decides to appear at the doorway and under no circumstances was Louis prepared for this. He wasn't prepared for a shirtless Harry and Calvin Klein boxers-no not at all. It's not the first time he's seen Harry shirtless, but it still shakes him all the same. Shit-it fucking turns him on. Louis' trackies have never been really good at his boners-not that he's ever really gotten boners. He only got a boner once around Reece and that was because of sexual frustration. Harry seems to stop at the sight of him too, his grin faltering slightly--only slightly before it returns back to normal.

  
"Never told me we had guests, mum." Harry says and if Louis were concentrating he might have heard the slight waver in Harry's voice.

  
"That's no way to greet them." Anne scolds slightly.

  
"My bad" Harry says though he doesn't sound very apologetic. "Hey twins, looking beautiful as always" he says gathering them in for a hug.

  
The charming basterd. Louis really wants to kiss him.

  
"Happy birthday, Harryy" Daisy smiles while Phoebe prods a finger at Harry's chest and asks why he's not wearing a shirt.

  
"Didn't feel like it. But if it makes you uncomfortable I can grab a shirt" Harry replies.

  
"Nah its okay." Phoebe says. "You have a nice body" and Louis blushes even though its got nothing to do with him. "And also happy birthday"

  
"Thanks" he says giving them one last squeeze before his gaze is directed at Louis.

  
"Hey" Louis squeaks, hoping it sounds better than he thinks it does.

  
"Hey" Harry echoes taking a few steps forward. "So. I'm 17 in case you didn't know."

  
"Oh don't worry I know. Happy b'day. Still older than you, though."

  
"'m still taller, though" Harry counters taking a few more steps forward.

  
Why is he coming closer? Harry's watching him carefully, in a way a predator would watch its prey before going in for the kill.

  
"Still smarter" Louis says not ready to give in.

  
"I'm better looking"

  
"Ha. You wish."

  
"Hmm." Harry hums, now standing in front of him. Harry smells fresh from the showers with just a hint of mint and yeah Louis really wants to kiss him. And then Harry's pulling him into a hug--not a long one, just around 5 seconds or something. But still its a hug and even though it leaves Louis feeling more confused than ever he smiles.

  
Harry smiles back.

  
***

  
Liam and Louis are heading to Westfield together as Jade had said that she'll get there another way--whatever that meant.

  
"This is great. It's gonna be so fun, I'll get to hang with Z-you guys" Liam grins as they enter the smelly red buses and really Louis can't wait to do his driving test so that he can stop using public transport.

"Yep." Louis agrees. "Hey, did you get Harry a present?"

  
"Yeah I got him a football. He better accept it, cost around a tenner so he better be grateful."

  
Louis snorts, getting looks from people in the bus and so he snorts louder just to piss them all of. It isn't any of there business at all. Not at fucking all.

  
"What'd you get him?" Liam asks.

  
"Didn't get him anything. But that doesn't really matter as long as I'm there."

  
"So full of yourself" Liam reaches up a steady hand to ruffle Louis' hair, but Louis moves out of the way just in time. "Don't" he warns.

  
"Why? Trying to impress one of the girls?"

  
No. Just a boy. "Something like that" he replies instead.

  
Louis' phone buzzes and he pulls out of his pocket a little irritated when he sees a text from Reece.

  
Reece: Don't forget, you're coming to my house today, maybe you could even sleep over?

  
Louis doesn't reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? xx


	15. 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your lovely comments and kudos love youu bai xx.

Chapter Fifteen

 

Louis and Liam were late.

  
Like around twenty five minutes late. All because of Louis , who had insisted upon stopping at one of the public toilets just to see how he looked.

  
And he did look pretty good-it had taken him twenty minutes to reach this conclusion and an extra five minutes to take a leak.

   
Brilliant. Wonderful. Amazing. Spectacular. Fanta--

  
"You idiot!" Liam hissed as Louis had been about to walk into the road when the red man was showing. Liam is very particular about this sorta thing, even if there no cars coming for miles always- "Wait for the green man"

  
"Hey, leave me alone, I'm tired okay?" Louis had replied.

  
"Rough night?"

  
"Eh, something like that"

  
Yeah 'somthing like that'. If rough night consisted of wanking to thoughts of Harry's shirtless torso, then yes he'd had a rough night. A very rough night indeed.

  
Liam sends him a look before tugging on Louis' arm to pull him across the road.

  
That's when Louis see's them.

  
All eight of them gathered at the steps, chatting animatedly from what Louis can gather. So they all look nice, a very huge contrast from what they wear to school. Taylor, for one was in a skimpy red skirt which barely reached her knobbly knees and a white jacket which exaggerated her boobs more than was necessary. And Niall was in a big grey jumper with corduroy trousers. And Jade looked good too, in her skinny jeans and white t shirt.

  
And then there was Harry. Harry in a blue t-shirt similar to Louis' one which somehow magnified his curls. Harry had flowers..a flower crown was planted on the top of his head and really--really Louis had never seen anything more beautiful. It was scary how big his crush was and slightly daunting. Louis had never been in hard like this before, not even with Reece. In fact, come to think of it Louis had never really fancied Reece. It was mainly the fact that they both happened to be the only gay people around and Louis mainly wanted to experiment but Reece on the other hand wanted a real relationship and that was probably the reason they had broken up.

 

"So you finally decide to show up" Taylor says and Louis shrugs in response not knowing what to say.

  
"Well can we go in now, it's pretty cold" Eleanor whines.

  
Westfield is crowded, as usual. So when they finally make it to Vue, the only movie available is The Lego Movie. Louis ends up next to Harry, and that's probably the worst thing ever cause now he can't concentrate on the film and is now prone to the way Harry's eyes light up when he laughs and the way a dimple pops out of his cheeks. Louis might even--Louis really likes Harry. Somehow Louis manages to get through the film.

 

Niall, on the other hand is is behaving like a little kid. "Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you're part of a team. Everything is-"

  
"God, Niall will you Shutup?" Taylor moans and Louis can't help but notice the way she's bumping her hip against Harry's.

  
"Leave me alone, I loved Lego as a kid" Niall says.

  
"I on the other hand" Taylor replies. "Loved money"

  
"Money?" Zayn questions. "Shit you didn't have a proper childhood"

  
"Shutup" Taylor scolds but there's a smile on her face.

  
"Look guys me and Jade are going to go shopping" Perrie announces.

  
"Can I come with? There's this really cute bracelet I want to buy" Eleanor says.

  
"I'll come to" Taylor says. "If not the boys would probably take advantage of me am I right?" She laughs at her own rubbish joke.

  
"Nah" Niall replies. "Got my eyes set on someone anyways. Louis eyebrows raise, "Oh really Niall. Who is she?" And okay just ignore how quick Louis was to assume that it was a girl, but it had to be right? Gayness wouldn't suit someone like him.

  
"Melissa. She's in my science class" Niall shrugs. "She's really pretty as well."

  
"I'll get her for you" Taylor says.

  
"Nah, that's okay. I really want to win her over myself"

  
"Such a romantic" Louis teases and once again Niall shrugs bashfully. The girls head to Claire's and the boys hang around until Josh says he wants to buy some trainers from Sports Direct so naturally they follow them. Louis never knew Liam and Zayn had anything in common, yet here they are and the two can't seem to be able to keep their mouths shut.

  
Fascinating , really.

  
When they get into the shop Louis heads straight over to where their rucksacks are. He really needs a backup one because it's always good to be prepared. In his peripheral vision he see's Harry sitting on one of them couches staring at the floor and Louis abandons all potential rucksacks and heads over to him. He'd probably abandon more to be with him. Like all books-maybe. Because books are a very important aspect to Louis' life.

  
Louis plonks down next to him causing Harry to look up and shit those eyes again. Shit. Shit. Shit.

  
"Hey Louis" Harry smiles softly, scooting over so that there's more space. Louis kinda wishes he didn't because he enjoyed the warmth of Harry, that and the fact that he smells really good.

  
"Harry" Louis greets. "So why the flowers? I've been wondering all day"

  
"It's from Gemma. She finally ended up finishing her daisy chain and said that she wants me to wear it."

  
"And you like it yeah?"

  
"I love it. Even though it cost her no money I think its my favourite gift. So Louis, what did you get me?"

  
"Umm myself?" Louis tries.

  
"How about..a different kind of present" Harry suggests.

  
"Like what?" Louis asks desperately pleading to his heart to stop thumping so loudly. Louis isn't dumb, he knows exactly what Harry is going to do, however it still comes as a surprise when Harry presses his plum lips against Louis'.

  
In public. They're friends aren't around but one half of Louis is still on edge. However the other half is taking everything Harry is giving. Harry's tongue is wet and quick and Louis just wants _moremoremore_ Harry pulls back to Louis' disappointment, "Does Zayn kiss you better?"

  
And what did any of this have to do with Zayn.

  
"The fuck does that have to do this?"

  
"Answer the question, Louis"

  
"Well I don't know-how the hell am I supposed to-"

  
Harry kisses Louis again, more slowly this time, their tongues moving together in sync and _yes,_ yes this is what Louis likes-what Louis _wants_.

  
"Who kisses better?"

  
"You" Louis breathes pulling Harry back in. He wants to drown in the kiss and never ever find his way back to the fucking surface. Because this is fucking perfect. Harry is fucking perfect. And then Louis can feel his jeans tightening and this is probably the best time to pull away. Louis can't pull away cause he's kissing Harry and like how many chances are you going to have to kiss Harry? Not many is the bloody answer. But then something constricts in his chest-what is this? What are they?

  
"Harry" Louis says. "What are we doing?"

  
"Kissing" Harry answers looking amused.

  
"No I mean like..what are we?"

  
There's a moment where Harry hesitates. They say the eyes are the windows to your soul and maybe its true. There's a second where a flash of guilt is seen and then Harry smiles, his dimples don't appear but it still looks genuine. Somehow. "Whatever you want to be" Harry says.

  
Well.

  
***

They make it to their neighbourhood around five laughing and reminiscing about what had happened at Westfield. About how Niall had tried to steal a chocolate bar from one off the off licence shop-just for the thrill of it and how he'd got caught and the rest had abandoned him but came back fifteen minutes later and Niall had charmed the shopkeeper into dropping charges.

  
Or how Taylor had tried to flirt with one of the security guards at Next, because he had huge muscles and looked only around two years older than him. They got kicked out because apparently you're not allowed to do that.

  
They're sort of holding hands. Sort of. Louis still isn't sure what they are but he thinks they act in a way that friends probably shouldn't act.

  
"So this is me" Harry says indicating his house.

  
Louis grins. "I think I know that"

  
"So I'm just going to go now."

  
"Oh wait. I think I know what you want." Louis says grinning even wider-if that's even possible.

  
"You do?" Harry says smirking and God Louis really lo-likes him.

  
Louis' answer is kissing Harry on the cheek. "There you go"

  
"That's exactly what I wanted" Harry says sarcastically but he pulls Louis into a hug regardless. Hugs with Harry are really nice. Then Harry pulls away and smiles at Louis before heading into his place and Louis hears a big sigh before the door shuts. Huh.

  
This is when Louis remembers Reece. He gets out his phone to find three messages.

  
Reece: Louis I knocked at your door and you weren't in, where are you? xx

  
Reece: Louis!!

  
Reece: Did Harry kidnap you or something?

  
Louis rolls his eyes at the last one.

  
Louis: No he did not kidnap me. I'm fine okay?

  
The reply comes immediately.

  
Reece: Where are you now? xx

  
Louis: Outside my house.

  
Reece: Right I'll come and pick you up then.

  
Louis: I'm a bit tired if I'm honest.

  
Reece: You can't be. How come he gets you and I don't!

  
Louis: What are you on about?

  
Reece: I think the fucking prick might have a crush on you.

  
Louis: Stop being ridiculous man. Harry doesn't like me like that.

  
Reece: Have you seen the way he looks at you?

  
Louis: I don't want to talk about this. Maybe we could hang out another time.

  
Reece: Yeah if you're not busy with Harry.

  
What was Reece's deal? Okay so maybe Louis had a crush on Harry but it was definitely one sided. They were just friends that sort of kissed at times.

  
It was totally normal.

  
Abso-fucking-lutely.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo what do you think? Also comments and kudos? xx


	16. 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry pov

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short but next one will be long! xx

Chapter Sixteen

  
Harry needs to have a serious talk with Gemma. A very serious one. He just needs someone to talk to about all of the shit that's happening because--have you ever liked someone that you probably maybe shouldn't have liked?

  
It was Louis.

  
The blue eyed boy had just somehow managed to crawl under his skin. And it annoyed him because this wasn't--is not--supposed to happen. He'd lost track of the goal and no the goal was not Louis,  it was his virginity. And God, that sounded harsh but that's how it was supposed to be. That's what this whole thing was about. Even if Zayn wasn't entirely interested anymore Harry was still going to do himself justice and do the fucking bet and just move on with his life. Even if Louis never talked to him again, it didn't matter--okay so maybe it did matter, but it's not supposed to matter. Harry isn't supposed to look forward to kissing Louis or actually enjoy the guy's company. Yet he does. And that's like breaking all the rules, you can't let yourself fall for the person, it's just not on.

  
No.

  
Harry finds Gemma in her room furiously typing on her phone, tongue peeking out from her lips.

  
"Gems" he says. Gemma looks up a little startled but then smiles. "Mum said warm up dinner in the microwave if you're hungry."

  
"I'll keep that in mind. But that's not actually what I'm here for." Harry takes a few steps into the room before sprawling out on the bed arms, and legs stretched out. He decides to focus on a black spot on the ceiling and then opens his mouth to speak. "Have you ever...liked someone?" He starts with,  feeling the bed shift as Gemma moved around a little bit.

  
"Oh. _Oh_. I see what this is about. You've developed a crush on someone Awh bro! So. What's she like?"

  
"No I mean" and also Harry needs to stress emphasis on someone "Like, maybe you shouldn't like this person but you kind of do."

  
Gemma hums for a moment. "Well there was that time when I had a crush on my English teacher..."

  
"Eww"Harry says wrinkling his nose. "Older men are a huge no no."

  
"So I fancied him. Sue me. I couldn't help it though, he was just really nice and then I started to notice that he was also good looking and then I started dressing..a bit more grown up cause I wanted him to notice me."

  
"And, did it work?" Harry asks out of pure curiosity.

  
"He was already doing some girl in the older years. Lost all my respect for him. He got fired and I never saw him again." Gemma shrugs. "Probably for the best though."

  
"Yeah." Harry grins.

  
"So are you going to tell me why you're here?"

  
"Well basically, I made this bet with Zayn--"

  
"Zayn? As in the one with the cheekbones?"

  
"Yes." Harry rolls his eyes. "That one. So I made a bit with him about which one of us could take someone's virginity first and--"

  
"Shutup! No bloody way! That's horrible. Taking someone's virginity for a bet? No, Harry. Just pull away. Now. Before things get worse."

  
"I can't. My whole popularity is riding on this thing. But I've kind of--I mean I might sort of like the person."

  
"Oh. And does this person like you?"

  
"I have no idea. Look Gems I just wanted to tell you about it I don't like need your advice or anything because I already know what I'm going to do."

  
"And what's that?"

  
"Gonna finish what I started aren't I?"

  
***

  
Harry might've given Louis the wrong signals.

  
Might have.

  
Things are different, he can tell. He can see Louis glancing at him in geography as if he might disappear any second now. There's an unspoken thing hanging in the air between them, creating tension. None of them have brought up the kiss on Saturday and Harry definitely isn't going to. He'd rather just forget about that. It had seemed like a good idea at the time now he just wished he hadn't done it.

  
So.

  
He knew what he was going to do, now. He was going to fuck Louis. One way or another he was totally going to do it. Simples.

  
Or so it should be.

  
And then he would have done the fucking bet and Zayn wouldn't be popular and shit and Harry could put this whole thing behind him and go back to his old life, which consisted of fucking girls every weekend and partying with Nick.

  
That's how things should be.

  
And Louis would probably never talk to him again, they'd become neighbours who never acknowledged each other--maybe it'd be better like that. Maybe that'd be best.

  
Maybe.

  
"So are we sitting together at lunch?" Louis asks as Harry's walking to his locker. Harry jumps a little surprised.

  
"Jesus, they should put a bell on you or something." Harry jokes--or at least attempts to. It comes out as rude. "And to your question--no."

  
"Why not?"

  
"Well why should you. It's called the popular table for a reason." And Harry keeps walking not wanting to see the look on Louis' face. Maybe it'd be best if he put some distance between himself and Louis.  Yes, that'd probably be better.

  
Probably.

  
He walks up to Taylor and slides an arm around her waist, hoping that Louis saw the action and gets that he is not interested--and even if he is interested, then well that's not anyone's business.

  
Taylor grins at him, hope. Shit. "Hey, you." She says happily. "I was just telling Josh about how the school has basically become a bit better since you came."

  
Josh doesn't look too happy. And oh yeah, Harry's matchmaking thing. He'll need to get on with that soon.

  
"Thanks for the compliment." Harry says."But I think without Josh the school would be a total flop."

  
Both turn to give him a weird look.

  
***

  
"I thought they were sitting with us today." Leigh Anne says. "I kind of look forward to Louis' stupid comments."

  
"Well they aren't." Harry says ignoring the pairs of eyes that are staring at him. He misses knocking his knees against Louis and just having to lean to the left and then they're shoulders would be brushing. But this is for the best, it totally is.

  
It is.

  
Totally.

  
Lunch is a bit boring that day and if Harry speeds home straight after school just to avoid Louis, well then no one really needs to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't wait for you guys to see the next chappie!xx


	17. 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this like my longest chapter to date...wow I can't believe I wrote this. Hey guys I really need your feedback on this, like REALLY, it's going to influence the next chapter a lot so yeah.
> 
> Also 300+ kudos!!??? You guys are AWESOME! No seriously if it wasn't for you guys I would've just stopped at chapter two haha. So anyways I'm pretty sure this is the chapter everyone's been looking forward to do. Sorry it took seventeen chapters to give it to you but here it is. Yeshhh

Chapter Seventeen

  
Louis didn't get it. He hadn't done anything wrong. At least he didn't think he had..right? How can someone go from all friendly and smiley to cold and icy. The difference makes Louis close his eyes as he walks to geography, not really wanting to see the green eyed boy and his dimples and his hair--and just, Louis didn't want to see him and he's pretty sure the feeling is mutual. It doesn't take away from the fact that he still likes him though--feelings like that don't go away in a heartbeat.

And he dresses more dangerously now,wants Harry to know what he's missing out on because lets face it Louis has a great arse..obviously. Reece even told him that the red jeans looked so good on him and Louis had just nodded, after all it wasn't Reece he was trying to impress, even if Reece was so intent on impressing him. Hence the flowers that Reece had snuck to him during registration--and you could call him an ungrateful bitch but Louis didn't even like roses. Far too cliché.

Louis hitched up his glasses and plasters a huge smile onto his face , so big it pains his cheeks, and entered the classroom--and well these are totally the perks of showing up five minutes late, even if Louis has never done it before. Everyone glances up at him, some raising surprised eyebrows because damn did Louis Tomlinson just turn up late to a lesson?

Miss Libby does a double--no triple take when she catches sight of him. "Louis?"

"The one and only."

"You're late.."

"Well obviously" Louis scoffs earning a few chuckles from the class. He doesn't know if Harry was one of them--he hasn't even acknowledged the guy yet.

Miss Libby raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow and Louis is expecting her to react, to give him a well deserved, detention, instead she simply says. "Go to your seat."

And this time it's Louis that does a double take as he turns to take in the class' seating arrangement. Everyone is in different places, funnily enough. He catches Liam staring at him, brows drawn together obviously wondering why Louis is acting differently. Liam's next to Jane who is positively beaming and oh Louis will need to be discussing that with Liam later on. Louis realises that the only seat available is next to Luke, one of the emo guys with that distracting lip piercing that Louis may or may not have used to fantasise about. Until Harry came along, of course. Harry and his beautiful, beautiful self and as much Louis wants to dislike him, he can't because he--well he really likes him is the short and short of it.

He plonks down next to Luke, after getting his stuff out onto the faintly smelling of disinfectant desk.

"Your bum is so stupendous, did you know."

Louis glances at Luke not sure how to take that statement. Cause it is true after all.

"Blonde hair is the new Johnny Depp." Louis counters and that is literally, the most stupidest thing that he's ever said. Having said that, it still earns a grin from Luke and Louis finds himself grinning back, inevitable really. Luke has that kind of infections smile that sort of forces you to smile back. Niall was also one of those people, and also a certain curly haired boy.

"You. I think I like." Luke says before discreetly slipping in his earphones and using a hand to cover it. Very smooth. "As long as you don't rat me out, yeah?"

"Wouldn't dare dream of it." Louis replies trying and failing to pay attention to Miss Libby's soft voice , music  is very, very distracting which is why Louis never uses it whilst in revision mode.

"Lorde.." Louis mutters in recognition. It's not the famous 'Royals' one but in fact a less famous one. 'Team'. It's weirdly relaxing and Louis understands why Luke might need it. It's played on repeat throughout the lesson and Louis realises that where he sits ain't half bad.

 It's actually pretty nice.

***

"Sometimes I feel like screaming but my lungs don't listen, you know." Gemma groans in frustration and Louis quietly hands over a pillow nearby for her to groan into. Once she's done so she looks slightly more satisfied.

And so, Louis isn't really sure how they got to the point of Gemma discussing her relationship issues about some dude named Derek who had seemed nice at first but then had gradually become more possessive on a Saturday morning, but well here they were.

"Gemma." Louis says firmly. "I don't even get why were having a conversation about this..isn't the solution obvious? Leave him."

"I don't kno--"

"Ever watched murdered by my boyfriend?" Louis cuts in.

"Um, no?"

"You don't seem so sure." Louis says.

"No." Gemma answers.

"Watch it. Like seriously it's a real eye-opener. Helps you gain prospective."

"Alright." Gemma agrees. "Thanks, by the way. Harry'd never listen, gets all cute and protective, he does."

Louis tenses up at the mention of Harry' name. Gemma doesn't seem to notice, though. They're both silent for a while and then there's voices drifting up the staircase and Louis isn't sure how to feel when he hears Harry's deep rumble followed by a slightly higher pitched, feminine voice.

"--called in weeks and then you finally call me. Am I some booty call or what Robin?" A female whine. Louis decides he doesn't like her already, even if she turns out to be nice.

"Look, would you just shut up. You're here aren't you?"

"Well with that attitude, you're not going to be getting any."

"Look." Harry sighs obviously frustrated. "Just--" and then there's kissing sounds and Louis tries desperately to block it out, hating that she gets to kiss him, probably even gets to do more than that with him, than Louis has ever done.

"Cringe worthy right?" Gemma says frowning slightly. "It's like this almost every weekend."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

Gemma laughs "Did you honestly ever think he was a virgin?"

"Well no. I never actually thought about anything to do with his sexual life, if I'm honest."

"Oh right. Cause that would be sort of weird innit?"

"Yeah."

"Where's the toilet again?" Louis wonders.

"Down the hall to your left, near Harry's room." Funny how she just had to add that extra piece of information.

"Thanks" Louis says before heading out of the room. He mainly just wanted to escape, not that he doesn't love Gemma, cause he does, he just needed to be alone right now. Have some Tommo time.

Except that, Harry's room is next door, said room containing Harry and some mysterious bitch--sorry, girl who were obviously doing something very sexual if the girls moans were anything to go by. And, he might add, the girls moans do not actually sound like that of a normal person but that of a dying cat. Fact.

Okay so maybe not so much of a fact but either way Louis hated her. He sits on the closed toilet seat with his head in his hands and sighs a big long one, that might just possibly release all these emotions he's feeling right now.

"Robin" a gasp. "Ah shit. Right there. Ohmegod baby right the-ahh!"

Oh fuck off.

Louis hates this. Why couldn't he just fall for Reece? Reece who actually wanted him and Reece who loved him and said he was beautiful instead of Harry who was all types of hot and cold and all dimples and smiles and yet so off limits. In actual fact, Reece would be the most reliable choice. He would. Yet Louis wanted Harry Styles.

And also, why was this bitch calling Harry Robin? Did he say bitch he meant girl, very easy to get the two muddled up.

Fuck this.

Louis gets up, quite drastically at that point and heads straight next door barging into Harry's room without warning. What perfect timing. Harry was in a kneeling position, dick lining up with the girls entrance and shit Harry had a big member. It brought all kinds of meanings to the word Massive and Louis allowed himself exactly three seconds of admiring the thing before opening his mouth. "Oh my bad, thought this was the toilet. Oops." And then he's turning back instead heading down the stairs and through the front door, after muttering a quick goodbye to Anne who was busy in the kitchen--doing kitcheny stuff.

He decides that he doesn't want to go home and instead moves towards the park. Not the area where the kids are of course, but the slightly less appealing place where people who are depressed sit on benches and smoke and the odd boys with jeans slung too low on their hips are riding bikes round and round in circles thinking that it makes them "cool".

It isn't until he's plonked himself on one of the creaky swings that he realises that Harry followed him. He'd put on some clothes of course. It looks like he literally just grabbed them and flung them on and yet he still looks so stunning. The two stare at each other for what seems like ages before Louis' the one looking away. He can't stare into green eyes for that long. Okay so he's jealous,only a little though. Okay, so maybe a lot.

"Louis." Harry says. Louis doesn't reply instead deciding that he'd rather stare at the ground instead. Brown is such a nice colour did you know? And though people say it's very boring just because its colour of mud Louis would certainly beg to differ. It might actually be one of the most complex colours ever you just have to--"Louis." Harry says again, and he laughs a little as if this whole thing is something hilarious.

"It's not fucking funny!" Louis snaps and Harry looks taken aback for a second but then his expression is neutral again.

"You know, I don't understand why you're angry. You're the one that walked in on us."

"Well then why'd you follow me?" Louis demands.

"Good question." Harry nods considerably.

"Well answer it then." Louis shoots. He will not be put off nor distracted by Harry's amazing ability to change the subject so very easily. He will definitely not. He will absolutely keep his guard up. Even if he happens to like Harry.

"You're sorta cute when you're pissed." Harry answers instead throwing Louis off completely. Louis blinks at him, wanting to say something but not being able to formulate the words and instead ends up resembling that of a fish.

"Don't change the subject!" Louis says but his voice is wavering and he knows that. Harry seems to know it too as he smirks evilly. "Just saying" Harry shrugs. "And to answer your question I just wanted to know what your opinion of my dick is."

"What?" Louis says but he can't help but smile a little. "Plus wouldn't your girlfriend be the better judge of it seeing as you were just about to put it into her?"

"Yeah I guess. Also she's not my girlfriend. Just another notch on my belt. Plus, I value your opinion more."

Louis hums not sure how to reply.

"Anndd, I might just have wanted to kiss you."

Louis looks up at that. "Huh. But I thought you kind of hated me.? I mean you've been acting distant all week."

"Was in a bad mood." Harry murmur's and Louis is certain that, that is not a good enough reason yet he decides to tolerate it. Mainly because Harry's right in front of him now. "Tell me you don't want me to kiss you and I won't."

"I don't want you to kiss me." Louis says. Harry's eyes widen slightly and Louis is lying--totally, totally lying, of course he wanted to kiss Harry. Why the fuck wouldn't he? But he was confused. So fucking confused. Louis doesn't understand how to people can just kiss and have it not mean anything. He doesn't know what they are..and he doesn't like not being sure. "Harry, I don't get this. Like..."

"Why do you feel the need to label everything, man? Why can't you just enjoy something without stressing about what it is or something. The unlabelled things are the best things in life."

"I have to disagree."

"Want me to change your mind?"

And maybe its the way Harry says it that Louis finds himself nodding.

They kiss, and Louis knows he's falling that much harder. Harry tastes like strawberries and also something unfamiliar to Louis. "You taste like her" Louis murmurs against Harrys plump and obscenely pink lips. "Then kiss me till I don't." Harry murmurs back and Louis grins because it's such a cheesy line but it has Louis kissing him more desperately, desperate to remove any trace of her.

Her. "What about her?" Louis asks and he feels Harry sigh exasperatedly. "What D'you mean?"

"Will she still be there when we get back?"

Harry scoffs. "Who said anything about us going back to mine?"

"Oh." Louis ducks his head, suddenly embarrassed. "Sorry I just assumed--"

"I'm kidding." Harry laughs softly as Louis glares at him. "I told her to leave."

"Awh kicking her out for me" Louis jokes stupidly but then suddenly his heartbeat picks up when Harry replies with an "anything for you.". And he knows that Harry's joking..yet he can't help but wish...that maybe he wasn't. Harry's lips are on his again, persistent and rough and so, so bloody perfect.

"Wait" Louis hisses pulling back all of a sudden trying to ignore the way Harry groans. "People can see us."

"Who cares?"

"Um I do."

"Just. Let. Go."

"Let it go. Like Elsa in Frozen right?"

"Exactly, babe."

Louis tries to ignore the form of endearment but it's pretty fucking hard. Like Louis is now.  Quite painfully,actually.  Harry seems to notice after a while. "Shit." Harry bites his lip and Louis can't tear his gaze away. "Come with me." Harry says suddenly, pulling Louis off the creaky swing and leading him back the way they came.

To Harry's house.

Harry lets go of his arm once they get inside claiming to Anne and Gemma that the two are having a long "study" session.

"Thought you said you didn't study" Louis smirks.

Harry grins at him, those cute dimples appearing with the action. "Shutup" he says but there's no heat behind it.

Sure enough,when they enter Harry's room the girls gone but there's a note left on Harry's bedside table and Louis tries not to think about what it says. "What are going to do?" He asks for the sake of it.

"Anything you want." Harry shrugs. "I could give you head..or finger you or something.  Or we could just, you know keep kissing--"

"Fuck me."

"What! No, Louis. I--are you sure?"

"Fuck me." Louis repeats.

"But Louis. That's kind of something you do with a person you love."

"I--" love you. That's what he was about to say. But maybe now isn't the time for that.

"You what?"

"Nothing." Louis shakes his head hoping Harry forgets about it.

"Only if you're sure.."

"I am sure" Louis clarifies.

"It's going to hurt a little." Harry warns.

"I don't mind" Louis says quickly.

"Okay.." Harry nods but still looks hesitant. "Just take off your clothes then and I'll get the stuff."

Louis pulls off his shirt and his trousers and then lastly his boxers and this just feels so surreal--he's actually doing this. And not just with anyone, but with Harry Styles of all people. Louis was totally going to boast about this to his grandchildren in the future years.

Totally.

He's on the bed when Harry comes back, naked as well, and Louis doesn't miss the way Harry's eyes trail slowly down his body making Louis squirm for some reason. "Stop moving." Harry demands climbing up on the bed so that he's hovering over Louis. "God, Louis. You're so--"

"So what?"

"Breathtakingly stunning." Harry kisses his stomach before coming up to peck Louis on the lips and then moves back down, kissing every single part of skin available.

"Are you just saying that cause we're about to have sex?" Louis says still not over it.

"Maybe." Harry kisses his wrist. "Maybe not."

"Mysterious" Louis laughs but it's not so funny as Harry makes his way to his down his body. Louis shivers as Harry's plump lips find his happy trail leading down to his dick. Which, he might add, is at throbbing stage now.

"Pretty dick too." Harry murmurs and when he takes hold of it Louis gasps in a way that is so obscene that Harry sits up to see his expression. "Shit. Have you ever even touched yourself before?"

"Yeah, course." But it feels so much better when you do it.

"Ever gotten a blow job?"

"Yeah, from Zayn." Louis is stupid. It was the wrong thing to say as Harry's body goes rigid.

"Zayn." Harry repeats coldly.

"Harry, please. Lets just stop talking. You know what, let me help you relax." Louis says, pulling Harry down on the bed with him. "I hope that door is locked by the way" Louis adds.

"Obviously. I'm not an idiot."

" I know." Louis says softly.

Without warning Louis takes Harry in his mouth, absolutely surprised by how big it is. He's aware of how his cheeks hollow to fit it all in and he's also aware of the way Harry's staring down at him.

"Oh Lou." Harry breathes. "Such a good boy aren't you? Do your homework on time..acing all the bloody a's..avoiding trouble at all costs." Harry moans as Louis starts moving up and down. "fuckfuckfuck" Louis was slow at first ,moving up and down his shaft and how Louis managed to take in all of Harry was totally beyond him but he couldn't give a fuck because it was so worth it when Harry would moan his name. Louis started to lick his balls and that's when his eyes flickered up, just to see if Harry was as wrecked as he sounded.

And he was. God, he was. His bottom lip trapped between his teeth was probably the hottest thing Louis had ever seen. No, not probably. Definitely. "Shit Lou--pull off or I'm gonna fucking cum."

Louis pulls off with a loud pop and then Harry's grabbing him, pulling him closer, eyes all glossy and slightly darker. A darker shade of green. "That was amazing." Harry breathes, managing to smile a little.

"Kiss me." Louis commands.

"Thought you'd never ask." Harry takes Louis' lips between his, licking into his mouth and such and Louis really really likes--oh fuck that. Louis is in love with him. Purely and utterly in crazy, stupid love. "Can you fuck me now?" Louis whispers.

"Sure , babe. Spread your legs, though."Harry shifts to one of his drawers and grabs an almost full bottle of lube and a condom.

"Have you ever done it with a guy before?" Louis finds himself asking.

"Just once. " Harry answers, pouring some lube onto his index finger and then slowly circling Louis' hole. And suddenly for the first time it actually hits Louis that what they're doing is absolutely huge. He is going to lose his fucking virginity. The thing he'd never thought he'd lose at this age, yet here he is.

With Harry. And, Louis decides that it's good, to do it with someone you love. Even if they don't love you back, at least you'll be able to say "I lost my virginity to my first love" which is true. Harry was his first love. And Harry was going to be his first as well.

When Harry pushes his finger in , it hurts. No point in sugar coating it because it really does hurt. But Louis doesn't want to stop--he's determined to do this. He shuts his eyes and grinds his teeth together untill the slight throb of pain turns into something more pleasant.

"Another one?" Harry asks.

Louis nods then realises that Harry can't see him and says yes.

"You don't seem so sure" Harry points out.

"Just Shutup and do it!" Louis snaps.

He hears Harry chuckle before his hole is being stretched that little bit more. It feels slightly better now, a bit more comfortable. Harry starts moving his fingers in and out, very slowly and Louis knows its because he wants him to get used to it..which is sort of cute.

"Ha. Imagine if Gemma caught us" Harry jokes.

"I'd rather not imagine that to be honest." Louis replies.

Harry laughs. "She'd probably blame me though. Say that I forced you into it, when actually you're the one requested this."

"Requested." Louis repeats flatly.  "This isn't some prostitute thing yeah?"

"Yeah course not." Harry agrees. "Simply two friends that have decided to have sex."

Just two friends.

"Exactly." Louis says but he's pretty sure his voice is wavering. Harry thrusts in again and this time Louis jumps in pleasure. "Wha--what was that?"

"Your prostate."

"Feels really good. Do that again." Louis demands. And Harry does. Three more times and he's got Louis moaning desperately. "Ah..shit. C'mon Harry, want your dick now."

Harry rubs some lube onto his dick and for a moment the only sounds are the slick sound that Harry's hand makes,  the distant , but present sound of Harry's mum on the phone and the hum of static most likely from Gemma's telly.

And this is actually happening.

"Are you nervous?" Harry wonders.

"A little" Louis admits.

"Listen," Harry says lifting Louis' chin up. "If at any point you don't like it just tell me okay, and I'll stop."

"Yeah, okay" Louis nods.

"Okay." Harry says more to himself than Louis. Maybe Harry was nervous about this as well.

Harry lines himself up with Louis' hole and then slowly pushes in. The sensation is burning and the stretch is more and Louis clenches his fists and bites his bottom lip as Harry bottoms out. They stay like that for a while, Harry not moving and gauging Louis' facial expressions very carefully.

"You alright?" Harry checks.

"Feels a bit weird." Louis admits.

"it'll get better though." Harry promises and Louis knows it will obviously, he's seen the videos and he knows it will get so much better. But right now? Not really.

"Who was the other guy?" Louis finds himself asking.

"Don't think that really matters to be honest." Harry says. "I was just sort of trying it out with him."

"Did you bottom?"

"Yeah. Hated it though, I like being in control."

Louis' dick twitches and he feels like he's hanging onto a cliff and when he lets go he's going to start fucking cumming. There's no pain anymore, at least.

"Good?"

"Yeah start moving." Louis says.

Harry was slow at first but gained in confidence as he stared to fuck Louis--but Louis would prefer to think of it as making love. Harry leaned down to kiss him and whether it was just a way to ease the pain a little bit or not Louis really liked Harry kissing him. It was so weird to think that Harry was actually inside him--like they were sort of connected somehow.

Gone was any trace of pain, and its place was pure, pure pleasure. It felt good and with every thrust Louis knew he was closer to falling off that cliff. Harry altered his angle a little and began hitting Louis' prostate repeatedly and Louis just absolutely fucking lost it.

"Har--ohmygod Harry. Oh my God" Louis moaned arching his back in the process.

Then suddenly, Harry's clamping a hand down over his mouth, "Family." Harry reminds him.

Louis blushes a little but he's pretty sure Harry won't even notice as his face is pretty flushed already. "Sorry." He apologised--more like moaned as Harry made direct contact with his prostate.

"'S alright." Harry smiles. "Nice to know that you're wrecked."

Louis doesn't respond and instead wraps his arms around Harry's long lean back, pulling him closer--bringing him closer, digging his nails into his back. Louis doesn't even care if he leaves marks at least the next bitch he fucks will see it.

Louis doesn't really want Harry with anyone else though.

Harry's head comes to settle in the crook of Louis' neck and Louis shuts his eyes blissfully as Harry starts to kiss him.

"LouisLouisLouis" Harry chants and his thrusts become less organized and sloppy and all over the place which feels even better. Harry almost pulls all the way out before slamming in and really you can't blame Louis, "Harry!" and he's coming in-between the two of their bodies.

Harry pulls out and runs to the bathroom and a few seconds later he's coming back, cheeks flushed and a small smile on his face. He joins Louis at his place one the bed and nudges him with his left shoulder.

"So." Harry says. "Did I change your mind?"

And maybe its because of the way Harry's smiling, all bright eyes and dimples. Maybe its because the air around them is charged and he's still on a high--still on cloud nine and his brain isn't really functioning properly. Or maybe its just because Louis just wanted to say it.

"Ask me that question again." Louis says.

Harry shoots him a look. "Did I change your mind?"

"I love you." Louis breathes.

And he thinks that maybe for a second Harry's about to say it back, but when he rolls over to his side he sees Harry's staring at him, an unreadable expression etched on his face.

Harry doesn't say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha.


	18. 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your lovely feedback on the last chapter I love you guys. Here's the next chapter!!

Chapter Eighteen

Harry doesn't talk to Louis after that--and it isn't totally unexpected. Louis understood, totally. It was his fault anyways--Harry was just a friend, or at least he was. Friends don't announce their love for one another, unless its totally platonic and in this case it obviously wasn't.

Louis entertained himself with studying--well actually it wasn't very entertaining but it was something to do at least. Something to distract himself with. Something to help him forget Harry. He stuck to Jade and Liam now, after all they were his best friends and they were all he needed.

It didn't mean he was happy, because he wasn't. He was forlorn and gloomy and he always ended up getting only 5 hours of sleep which made him look absolutely horrible--but mostly he was angry at himself. For falling for Harry. That was bad enough, then he went and made it worse by actually saying it.

So albeit with all the high grades he got Louis Tomlinson was stupid. He lacked common sense and the knowledge to keep his feelings intact.

Jade noticed--Louis could tell by the way she was extra gentle around him, less banter and all that , and at the lunch tables it was her and Liam that made most of the conversation.

So all in all, he wasn't doing so great--hated life in general. Hated the way the birds chirped each morning when there was absolutely nothing to be happy about. Hated the way that sometimes he'd catch Harry and Gemma laughing about something and he'd be force to walk past and ignore Gemma's calls for him, because he couldn't do it--it just isn't possible to be friends with Gemma whilst he was still in love with Harry. Why was he still in love with the basterd anyway?

Harry was positively cold hearted any time Louis even as so much walked past him. It was all the little things--like how he'd stop mid-conversation when Louis started talking or coughed unnecessarily when Louis raised his hand in class. Teasing started again, Taylor came back in full gear and Harry would flirt with her all the time now, not that Louis noticed or anything--no actually that's a lie because of course Louis noticed. He noticed everything about Harry. And it wasn't so much the fact that he was jealous--just undeniably hurt.

So when Louis thought things couldn't get any worse--well, they got worse.

It starts at break, during school, when Louis was sitting on one of the brown benches that had managed to escape the evil curse of bird poo. He was by himself as Jade had gone on a history trip to the British Museum (yay) and Liam wasn't in--which was a very rare occurrence because Liam hardly ever gets sick, great immune system and all that. Louis was reading the book they were currently studying in English--Coram Boy--which Louis thought was the most boring shit he'd ever read but managed to feign enough interest so that their English teacher, Mr Jenkins would like him. Well it had worked.

He was on page 26 when he heard a throat clear above him. He'd be lying if he said his heart didn't leap out of his throat--because it did. Literally. He just wanted to be left alone. Why couldn't he be left alone? Was that really so hard to ask for?

Managing to tear his gaze away from the words that formed another universe he glanced up and raised an expectant eyebrow as he locked eyes with Reece. Reece who was wearing a very flattering white shirt which had some girls bumping into each other in the struggle to crane their necks just to catch a glimpse of him.

If only they knew.

"Hello." Louis says after a while of their private stare down. Reece is usually happy when he's around Louis, wants to win him back and all that--he's usually all smiles and grins and stupid laughs and stupid jokes and stupid stories. Reece was nothing like that at that precise moment, if anything he looked totally pissed off.

He feels Reece give him a quick up down before his eyes come to settle on Louis' frayed blue jeans. "Nice clothes." Reece nods and Louis stares up sceptically before saying thanks.

"Where's Harry?" Reece says, eyebrows drawn together creating a frown on his forehead. Louis tries not to give too much of his body language away so he just shrugs, shrugging is always good.

"Funny." Reece chuckles but his laugh sounds menacing. "Thought you guys were friends."

"Well we aren't really friends--"

"No." Reece shakes his head amused, cutting Louis off. "Cause you're more than that aren't you?"

Louis freezes. "What are you talking about, Reece?" He asks carefully, trying not to look intimidated.

Reece chuckles again and it makes Louis feel, somewhat afraid. "Think you're so discreet do you? While I'm pouring out my fucking heart just to try and win you back, you're in the fucking park snogging him shamelessly. Desperately, in fact."

Louis doesn't say anything, can't move--he's wondering how he's still managing to breathe. "In love with him then?" And even though its just a guess it hits the nail right on the damn head.

"I'm not-" he swallows his saliva, briefly. Lies. "Not in love with him. We just kissed it was no-..no big deal.

"Sure it was." Reece scoffs. " I don't know why I waste my fucking time. I've got better stuff to do than be chasing after you. I could get half the girls in the bloody school with a click of my fingers yet I chose to run after a worthless piece of shit like you. And the thing is--I know you don't like me back. Yet you don't tell me anything so I thought I might've had a chance but--you'll never like me, you'll never love me. This whole thing is stupid. You're stupid to be kissing that arsehole who'll probably be kissing another girl in less than 24 hours. You're stupid for picking a guy who will never like you, over me--me who loves you with all my heart. Or at least did--"

"Shutup!" Louis yells suddenly, tired of Reece breaking the last piece of dignity he had remaining. "Shut the fuck up Reece!"

"Cause you know I'm saying the truth, don't you?" Reece spits and Louis hates the fact that he can feel tears pricking at his eyes because he's supposed to be stronger than this yet a few mean words have demolished his exterior.

"Leave me alone." Louis says, his voice cracking on the last syllable. "Just go..please." He adds. Reece leaves , walking away cockily and that's when Louis decides that he hates him.

Taylor walks by with her cronies and Louis just knows that she's going to open those red lips of hers and lash out at him. And he doesn't know if he can take it. Why did life have to get so complicated? Why did Harry have to move here and ruin absolutely everything?

"Your friends finally realised that you aren't worth it?" Taylor sneers and only Josh and Harry laugh, Louis notes that rest look a bit guilty. He keeps his head down, nose and his book and hopes they leave. Of course they don't because that's how life is.

Coram boy is being snatched out of his hand a little later and when he glances up he sees Taylor wrinkling her nose, looking down at him, with a perfectly proportioned smirk on her face.

"Give that back please." Louis says forcing himself not glance towards Harry.

"Ha. Not like you're going to do anything--not without your friends anyway." Taylor laughs and as if on cue Harry and Josh join in. "Such a loser--bet you're still a stupid virgin too."

He can literally feel Harry's laugh die in his throat as soon as Taylor utters the words.

"That's none of your business." Louis snaps. "Keep the book anyway," he adds , voice rising a little with confidence. "It'll probably be infected with all the hiv that you carry around." Once Louis' satisfied with how shocked they look he gets up and walks away feeling ten times worse than he had felt that morning.

It wouldn't take much to make him snap.

Not much at all.

***

The original plan was to walk in, grab a  sandwich and then walk out--that would be the best way to not draw attention to himself.

Funny how it never works out like that.

Louis walks in to the canteen after a painful maths lesson where he was next to Josh who kept making nasty comments about him through the whole duration of the lesson.

The air is somehow different as he sets foot inside--and Louis can feel it, feel the change of energy. Nobody looks up at him yet he's sure he's got a dozen pair of eyes burning a whole into his back. He grabs any random sandwich wanting to head out of there quickly and ends up getting a ham and cheese one--which is sort of nice. Infact sandwiches are pretty much the only thing that the school is decent at.

He steers clear of Taylor's small table in the middle but catches Niall smiling at him. Louis doesn't return it. Reece is sitting with them too laughing at something Taylor had said and from Louis' point of view it literally looks like two groups of friends being forced to share a table. There's Taylor, Josh, Reece and Harry (but the two don't interact as much as Louis can see) on one side and then there's Niall, Eleanor,Leigh-Anne and Zayn on the other. He catches Zayn watching him too, it's more like a sorrowful expression though.

Whatever. Those people aren't important. He can't wait untill he has Liam and Jade by his side because he's literally like a lost sheep without them. He needs them.

He's about to pull open the door and escape to the more secluded parts of the school when he hears his name called. He turns round to see Luke, lips curved into a small smile. "Louis." He says again.  "Do you want to sit with us?"

That's when Louis notices three other boys at the table--aka Luke's friends. He's never actually met them though, had just seen them from afar. There's another blonde one and Louis briefly recognises him from his science class as the guy that talks too much. Then a guy with black hair who he remembers some girls giggling over in P.E. And then one with red dyed hair and an eyebrow piercing and Louis remembers Jade gossiping about the guys eyebrow ring with him.

"Um." Louis hesitated.

"We want you to sit with us." The one with black hair adds.

"Okay..i guess?" Louis says before climbing in next to Luke who smiles at him again. "So." Louis huffs. "Well I actually don't know your names so..im sorry--"

"It's fine." Blonde one who isn't Luke says sitting up slightly and shifting closer. It seems as if they're all shifting closer --trying to protect him or something like that. "'m Ashton."

"Michael."

"Calum. You'll remember my name though, cause I'll be your favourite." Calum grins at Louis and while its nice and everything, Louis really wants to ask what the hell is going on.

"Back off." Luke says. "I'm your favourite aren't I Lou? See I've already given him a nickname. We're in a committed Bromance now aren't we?"

"Yes." Louis says playing along. "And we owe it all to Miss Libby."

"Absolutely." Luke grins.

Calum rolls his eyes but there's a smile on  his face. "I'm the best looking, though."

Ashton laughs. "You always say that mate. Looks ain't everything."

"No well it isn't everything but it is around 90% of importance that the person you're with is good looking." Calum says.

"Because you don't want your kids looking like a miniature version of Jay Z." Luke agrees.

"Worst joke ever." Ashton says. "Also Jay  Z is a legend and I don't approve of you talking about him in that manner. He is not ugly but in fact...unique."

"He isn't unique, because everyone is unique and therefore no one is unique." Ashton says, screwing up his nose in thought.

Louis nibbles at the the crust of bread which is the part he hates but it draws attention away from him.

"Nobody understands your shit,mate." Calum says picking up a soggy chip between his index finger and his thumb. "This school really needs new kitchen staff."

"I second that." Luke agrees.

They chat easily for the next ten minutes and Louis particularly enjoyed his banter with Luke who is a real good sport. In these ten minutes Michael doesn't utter a word and so when he actually opens his bloody mouth it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

"So." Michael clears his throat a little. "Is it true?"

"Michael..." Ashton warns.

"I'm not going to judge you, or anything." Michael says totally ignoring Ashton. "Is. It. True."

"I haven't got a clue on what you're going on about." Louis says, he sees Michael's eyebrows raise right up to his hairline before they settle down.

"You mean you haven't heard--"

"Yes he hasn't heard so why don't we just keep it that way. " Calum says glaring slightly and Louis looks between the two trying to figure out what was going on.

They go back to eating--or picking at their food--and it's obvious that none want to bring up the topic again. Louis should let it go but. He really wants to know. Is what true?

His heart thuds momentarily as he remembers Reece's words at break. Louis shakes his head, intent on moving all bad thoughts from his head. It works for about five minutes.

"What were you guys talking about?" He asks.

"Nothing." Luke says to quickly for it to be considered as convincing. "Absolutely nothing."

"Please tell me."

He see's the four of them share a private look before Luke sighs. "There's a rumour going round that you're gay--but like obviously that's not true right?"

Fuck.

Louis feels like crying--feels like just throwing himself on to the floor and encouraging everyone to trample on him untill he can't feel his heart beat. His worst nightmare was slowly coming true. His family didn't even know, for God's sake and now there was a bloody rumour going round the whole school. Except that it's not so much of a rumour and more like a fact. And maybe Louis should just come clean and tell them. But. That would require speaking and Louis definitely isn't in the mood for opening his mouth--was that a horrible pun?--so he does what he thinks is logical and excuses himself before sprinting to the the gents. He bends down over the toilet seat and starts hurling without warning. And he's crying now--proper crying--loud empty sobs that do nothing but pain his chest and he thinks he's there for about half an hour and he's about to open the cubicle door to face the world, but then he hears voices. Voices which he immediately recognises as Harry and Zayn.

Louis really shouldn't eavesdrop but there really is no other option.

\--mate." That's Zayn. "So I'm assuming you've done it."

"How'd you guess?"

"I saw the way he looks at you. Heart eyes and all."

"Told me he loved me." Harry says quietly.

There's a few beats of silence and then Zayn speaks up. "Well that ain't good."

"No shit."

"And do you love hi--"

"No course not. Was just a good fuck. Anyways, I've won the bet."

"Good for you." Zayn says.

"That all I get?"

"That and I'll stop hanging with you guys. I wouldn't even mind to be honest. The group is so bitchy, I'll be glad to leave."

"Right."

"You know." Zayn again. "You didn't actually have to go through with it -- I mean I lost all interest when I saw Liam yet you still kept pushing and pushing."

"My sister calls you the guy with the cheekbones."

"Tell her I said thanks but don't change the subject. Why were you so intent on doing it anyway? What did you gain from it?"

"A good fuck."

"Stop fooling yourself, you idiot."

"I am just saying the truth. Why would I want him anyway--he's....stupid."

Zayn scoffs. "You're shit at lying. Keep telling yourself that. See you around." The sound of the door opening and closing.

Louis' still staring at the door, frozen, simply more shocked than anything. All he gathers from that is a bet. He refuses to believe that he was part of a bet--because he's not stupid he knows they were talking about him--but it can't be true. Harry couldn't have taken away his virginity just for a fucking bet could he?

 _Does_ _Zayn_ _kiss you better._

 _I_ _think you should just stay away from Zayn for a bit._

And shit. Now it all makes sense. Every single fucking thing. It makes Louis feel stupid. Worthless. Part of a bet. Silent tears are somehow worse than full out sobbing. He pulls open the cubicle door and totally not pretends to do a double take when he see's that Harry's still there. Their eyes meet in the mirror and Harry's eyes widen slightly before he looks away.

Basterd, Louis thinks as he washes his hands in the porcelain sink. Fucking Basterd, his brain adds.

Louis grabs a few tissues dabbing at his eyes so it isn't so glaringly obvious that he's been having a good cry. He feels Harry glancing at him from time to time but neither of the two speak.

"Louis listen--"

"Please don't." Louis says. He doesn't want to hear anything from those stupid pink lips of his.

"Okay." Harry says quietly.

Louis sighs before glancing at his own reflection. He looks absolutely awful, to be blunt about it. He just wants to go home and find the teddy bear that he'd thrown somewhere around his room, at 12 years of age, claiming that he was too old for them.  But he really needed it now. The world is a cruel and harsh world and Louis absolutely hates it.

***

Louis doesn't go to school the next day. He told his mum that he wasn't feeling well and straps himself into his bed, wrapping the covers tightly round himself and closes his eyes--not to sleep or anything but just because he doesn't want them open. The house is quiet and empty and Louis feels lonely and he hears his phone beep with messages that are most likely from Jade and/or Liam, but he can't find it in himself to get up.

He doesn't remember the last time he had smiled since yesterday. How was he so stupid as to fall right into Harry's trap. He should have known--why else would Harry start randomly hanging out with him? The signs were all there yet he failed to spot any of them.

At around three he hears the doorbell ring. Louis groans before rolling over onto his stomach, hoping that the person will just leave.

"Open up you twat!" It's Gemma.

Louis sluggishly gets up and heads downstairs unlocking the door and opening it and Gemma's already forcing her way in making Louis stumble back. 

"Derek hit me today." She says plonking herself on to the sofa and Louis' surprised by how much it doesn't feel awkward. As if he hasn't been ignoring her for the past two weeks.

"What?"

"It was just a little slap on shoulder but still that's bad right? I mean I watched murdered by my boyfriend and basically all the violence started when he hit her the first time right?"

"Why are you here? Can't you see that I'm sick?"

Gemma rolls her eyes. "Yeah practically dying. Look anyways I was lying about the Derek thing I just needed an excuse to force my way in dramatically. "

"Only you, Gemma." Louis sighs.

"I'm here to ask what's going on between you and Harry. " Louis freezes. "Why aren't you guys talking to each other? And don't you dare deny it because I swear you always round at ours and now things are different between you aren't they?"

"I don't think that's any of your business." Louis says wincing at how mean it sounds.

"Look." Gemma shifts closer to Louis. "I heard you guys doing it so just tell me alright?"

"What?"

"I guessed that there was always something between you two. And then you both go to the park and come back and do a study session but when I walked past Harry's door that's certainly not what I heard." Louis looks down. "Louis." Gemma says firmly. "I'm not like disgusted or anything--well actually I kind of am cause he's my brother and ew--but I thought you guys were cute together. And now you're like two bloody strangers."

"We were never together." Louis mutters. "It was all a fucking bet..."

Gemma's eyes widen comically and if Louis weren't so down in the dumps he's pretty sure he'd be laughing. "He's an idiot." She says finally.

"I hate him."

"No you don't."

"I told him I loved him."

"Loved?"

"Well obviously I don't any more. He broke my fucking heart. Piece of advice for you--never get involved with new bad boys with curly hair."

Gemma smiles weakly. "Here babe, wanna hug it out?" Louis shrugs and Gemma takes it as a yes and soon he's being enveloped by Gemma's arms and the smell of perfume. Gemma stays for a while with him and then she gives Louis one last hug before leaving.

The rest of his family come in and Louis says that he'll skip dinner and heads back to his room after grabbing his phone.

Liam: m8 you OK?

Jade: Y are ppl bitching about u?

Jade: some strange rumours going round...???

Louis doesn't have the strength to reply to any of them and instead curls up in his bed and closes his eyes. He's breathing, he's still alive which is amazing in itself really.

He falls asleep at around 1 a.m, and dreams of a time where his life was slightly better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(


	19. 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo.

Chapter Nineteen

 

Louis groans as sudden and unwanted light seeps into his bedroom making every dark corner illuminate and light up his world like nobody else and ha. No. It's too fucking early for light--it's too fucking early for him to be opening his eyes. "I hate you." Louis says to whoever the person is because at this point Louis really isn't sure. Ugh it's too early to be thinking this deep. Too bloody early. Somebody slap him. No, even better--stab him. Right in the fucking heart where it hurts the most.

That'd be just fine and dandy. Okay so maybe not but at this point who'd even give a shit if Louis died?

Your Family.

Your Friends.

And Louis peeks an eyelid open.

Harry?

Funny. So fucking funny. What a ridiculous thought. Harry obviously doesn't give a shit about him--just like he didn't give a shit when he was fucking him and taking his damn virginity. Harry does not care.

At all. And at some point, Louis is just going to have to face these basic facts even if his heart begs to differ. Even if his heart still flutters when someone mentions the guys name. Which makes him a bit of loser really--Harry fucked him for a bet. He was basically a "thing." A "game". And Harry had won. So gold medals and kudos to him, well fucking done.

Louis applauds him, really. A great actor--made Louis believe that he was actually genuinely interested in him. Genuinely. Seriously.

Genuinely.

Louis opens his other eye and is sort of half surprised--half not surprised to see Jade there, hair falling down past her shoulders, green jacket on paired with jeans and trainers, smiling amiably. Why is she always so bloody happy? Bloody ray of sunshine. Louis hates the sun now, it's all sunny and happy and ugh. "At last. Sleeping Beauty awakens." Jade says grinning.

Louis rolls his eyes before pushing off the covers reluctantly. He glances down at his batman pyjamas and then back at at Jade. She's laughing of course.

"What happened to the 'i don't wear PJ's anymore because I'm a man and men wear boxers to sleep' Louis?" Jade teases, pretending to look at Louis with distaste.

"He died with my dignity." Louis answers flatly, and then his eyes widen as he remembers--shit, school. You know, that ugly brown building ten minutes away where children are forced to learn. "Damn it Jade. is it Friday? It's Friday right? Cause I've got P.E today and I'm not sure whether I left my trainers in the changing rooms or not.."

"I think you'll be happy to know that it isn't Friday."

"Ugh. So Thursday then, cause like Thursdays are even worse--"

"It's the weekend!!"

"Hell yeah. That's even better. " Louis nods to himself. "Wait. If it's Saturday then why the hell are you waking me up at whatever God forsaken time it is right now."

"It's the afternoon, Louis."

"Exactly. Too early." And he sprints back to his bed, snuggling deeper into the mattress which smells distinctly like him but mostly like home. Ahhh home. Home Sweet Home.

"No Louis. I will not allow you to spend another minute cooped up in that stupid bed of yours which probably smells a lot like peanut butter, which I've caught you eating a lot in the last few days. " Jade scolds and she obviously wants to lunge at him but she's wearing shoes and Louis hates anyone using their shoes from the outside world on his bed. An absolute no no.

"It actually smells like me." Louis says inhaling his smell and then breathing normally again. In. Out. And repeat.

"You smell like peanut butter. "

"I read somewhere that peanut butter helps with pain."

"You literally just made that up." Jade says folding her arms and leaning to one side like a mother hen scolding her young.

"Okay so maybe I did. But nobody needs to know. "

"Get up. We are going out. "

"You mean, you're going out." Louis corrects.

"No. I mean we're going out. "

"I am not going out."

"Yes you are." Jade insists. "This isn't going to help you? Sitting in bed all day, eating peanut butter--"

"--Can you at least drop the peanut butter thing? I'd really appreciate it."

"--and sulking isn't going to help you. But you know what would really help?"

"Um. Not sure if I really want to know..?"

"I'm going to tell you anyway."

"Yeah, I figured."

"Going out and socialising."

"What are you suggesting..?"

"Party."

"Hmm? No. No!" Louis sits up in shock because he's in a right shitty state and so someone explain to him how something like a bloody party is suppose to ease the pain?

"Calum's party." Jade says as if that's supposed to change Louis' mind.

"Does he even know me?" Louis questions because seriously he talked to the guy one time. Once. That one time.

"Well apparently since he's inviting you to his party." And Jade's voice just screams duh.

Leave him alone okay? His brain is still going through the waking up system. If there even is a waking up system. Whatever--it's still a pretty valid excuse.

"Funny how I never got a text about that."

"That's cause he doesn't have your number." And again duh. "We've got science together so he gave me his digits so I could pass it on to you cause apparently you're mates. Something I'm missing here..?"

"Nah not much." Louis shrugs.

"So get ready."

"I don't like parties." Louis says frowning. "Parties have alcohol and alcohol isn't ideal for me right now."

"Haha silly me." Jade manages to pull of a fake laugh while flicking her hair and it's a sign that the next words that come out of her mouth will be a lie. But Louis' ready to give her the benefit of the doubt. "Did I say party? I meant get together, definitely a get together."

***

Jade is a liar. Fact. Fact. Fact. Because this is most definitely a party.  There's punk music and people dancing around and everything and the lights are off which is probably the reason why people aren't staring at him right now.

"Thinking about doing a PhD in lying, Jade? I'm sure you'd get full marks." Louis says slightly annoyed. Less of the fact that they are at a party but mainly because he's absolutely not dressed for this. He's in jogging bottoms for God's sake. No one wears jogging bottoms to a party. And he's pretty sure he looks awful. But hey, what else is new?

"Well you're here aren't you?" Jade replies managing to dodge the question perfectly. "Besides there's no one here that hates you. I.e. Taylor and sidechicks. Just the people that follow the crowd and as I said before Taylor ain't here so they'll probably treat you normally."

"Define normal." Louis hums taking in his surroundings. Calum's house is pretty small yet somehow they've all managed to squeeze into his basement and it's sort of sad how his mum thinks its just friends coming round to 'hang' when he's pretty sure she's never seen half of these people in her life. "Soundproof floors." Calum had explained earlier when Louis had asked how his mum couldn't hear the music.

"Me." Jade answers. " I am the epitome of normal."

"Well I beg to differ."

"Yeah!" Jade cheers and Louis sends her a quizzical look. "You're bantering with me. This is good. This is a step in the right direction. C'mon lets dance." She says grabbing Louis to where a group of people are gathered in a huddle some grinding up against each other most likely drunk.

Yes Louis had glanced at the table where the bottles of alcohol were sitting daintily waiting for someone to come pick them up. And no he had not had a single drop. Amazing, really.

Louis dances. Or sort of bobs up and down--which ever you prefer really. And Jade moves her body in ways that would make his trousers tight if he were heterosexual. Who taught her this?

"Hear! Hear!" Calum calls out in his best posh accent making a few giggle. "Turns out my dad's coming back earlier from his friends house than I had anticipated. So in other words --you've all got to leave."

There's groans and grudges but when Calum makes it clear that he's not joking there's a sudden rush for the remaining bottles and then everyone's heading up the stairs and away. And Louis' about to leave too but he hears Calum call his name softly--like how one may call there cat. He isn't sure how to feel about it really.

"Louis?"

And oh yeah Jade.

"Um wait outside for me..?"

"Sure babe. Don't be long." She flashes a last smile before also going up stairs leaving.

"Can I ask a question?" Calum says once the silence is on the edge of strangling. 

"You just did." Louis points out.

Calum grins but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Seriously, though."

"Yeah, sure." Louis shrugs.

"Do you know that you're best friend is in love with Zayn or are you too worried about these stupid gay rumours to notice?"

Louis blinks. And then he blinks again. And then he remembers that he has two best friends and asks, "Which one. "

"The boy..Lahm? Leym? Lee?"

"It's Liam."

"I knew that." Calum says quickly.

"Lahm seriously?"

"I was thinking of the football player and he plays for Bayern Munich I believe..? Speaking of did you watch--"

"I don't give a donkeys shit! Why the fuck is Liam in love with Zayn?"

"Dunno."

"And how the hell would you know anyway? I've been mates with Liam since we were eleven years old. I'd think I'd know if he were gay."

"I suggest you watch more clearly."

"Do you stalk him?"

"No. The word you are looking for is observation. Something I am very good at. I see the heart eyes they're making at each other. I also used to think there was a little sumthin sumthin between you and Harry but clearly not as you aren't gay."

"Right."

"A hundred percent straight." Calum adds for somewhat good measure. 

"Uhuh." Louis nods.

Calum smirks at him before going on about the Bayern Munich game, eyes lighting up surprisingly and Louis decides that he sort of likes the guy.

Observation skills huh? Louis could so do observation skills.

Totally, man. Totally.

***

"You're making it too bait." Calum hisses nudging Louis with quite a pointy elbow. 

"Yeah, remind me what that word means again?"

"Obvious."

"Right, obvious. Got it. " and Louis squints a little more and its just one of those school days where Louis tries to get by without his glasses.  Because he's independent and that. Except this time he's watching Liam and whilst he'd really like to have a chat with his brain about how crap his day's been he'd much rather focus on this because was Liam really in love with Zayn?

And anyways why Zayn of all people? Zayn was..good looking and..you know, good looking and.. Okay Louis could see the appeal. But it just can't be true because then he'd have to admit the truth that he's quite a bad friend for noticing years ago. It's not like he'd ever seen Liam dating a girl before, or even kissing one. But Liam is quite a reserved person, sort of.

Louis has never seen this Liam though,all laughing and smiling and crinkles by his eyes as Zayn says something to him and Jade is next to the two of them, a prominent frown on her forehead and he can see that she's the third wheel and all that but woii okay Louis can see heart eyes. And shit. How did he not notice before.

Liam is absolutely infatuated.

"Well." Louis says sitting back.

"Well?" Calum prompted.

"I refuse to admit that you're right."

"So I'm right."

"I never said anything."

"But we both know the truth."

"I just can't believe it." Louis says shaking his head. " I mean it's Liam Payne, for crying out loud!"

"And do you somehow believe that by saying his full name it will miraculously make him straight?"

"He could be bi." Louis argues.

"He likes Zayn." Calum says again and that pretty much overrules Louis' argument--he didn't have much of a case anyway.

"Shutup." Is his lame comeback.

"Too bad for you, I love the sound of my own voice."

"Yep." Ashton says joining in. "The only time he closes it is when he's sucking a girl off."

"I don't think I really needed to know that. What difference does it make to my life?" Louis says huffing.

"Awh look how cute Louis is huffing and puffing like a likkle cutie pie." Luke says in a horrible impression of what he thinks is a girls voice.

"I am not cute." Louis says pouting.

"Are too." Luke counters.

"Am not."

"Yes you are. "

"Okay I am." Louis says wanting to shut them up.

"Ha." Luke grins. "I'm always right."

"And then next minute you'll be asking me for the answers in geography."

"Because you're a genius."

"That is quite possible." Louis shrugs modestly.

"With the I.Q. of a pig." Calum adds smirking and Louis wishes he was one of those people who tucked a pen behind their ear so he could just chuck it at Calum but since he's not he settles with a small slap. Ashton starts laughing and Louis wants to calm him a hyena but bites his tongue because it's sort of nice to be happy. Just to smile. Even if he's still thinking about Liam and Zayn.

He's still thinking about Liam and Zayn.

He needs to take action. Sometime. Not right now, though.

When lunch finishes Louis heads to geography with Luke who's just told this joke that Louis now can't even remember because he's laughing so hard that he's pretty sure he'll get stitches which aren't at all pleasant but he's pretty sure it's worth it.

And then the laughter dies when he gets to the classroom because Harry's there early and everything. Like he's fucking early and that's like the first time Harry hasn't been late.

Not that Louis' been noticing or anything because that could be classed as stalking and Louis is not a stalker. So.

Luke notices the change and nudges him and Louis answers with a weak smile. That's like all he has left in him. He finds himself glancing at the curly haired boy to already find him staring back. Harry tilts his head to the side, swinging his legs back and forth and Louis doesn't really know what to do. Okay so he could look away but he doesn't really want to. He sort of wants to outstare Harry--if that even makes sense.

Like why should he be the one to look away first?

Why should he be the one hurting?

It's Harry's loss. Because Louis would have fucking loved him as much as a person could love another but Harry totally messed that up so why now should he be the one moping around and refusing to get out on Saturdays?

Fucking ridiculous.

And okay Louis knows exactly what he's doing when he shuffles slightly closer to Luke and ruffles his hair a little and when Luke sends him a questioning look, Louis just smiles.

And that's how it sort of happens Louis manages to find a way to constantly touch Luke through the whole lesson, raising his hand so that the whole class has to pay attention to him. So that Harry has to pay attention.

And he isn't really sure but maybe Harry's a bit more fidgety than usual so maybe Louis' doing something right. He's not trying to make Harry jealous or anything its more like a--look what you could've had sort of thing.

"High School Musical." Louis guesses after hearing the song for a good two minutes.

"Be more specific." Luke says.

"You are the music in me." Louis says straight away.

Luke smirks."So you did watch it when you were younger."

"Yeah yeah. But hsm become cool in the third movie. They were graduating then."

"I'm aware."

"Can you guys keep it down?" And Louis doesn't need to turn round to recognize that voice. Harry sounds sort of annoyed.

"Didn't know it was bothering you." Louis snaps.

"Well it is."

"Okay."

"So can you shush."

"If you ask nicely." Louis says and then immediately blushes and he's pretty sure Harry flushes too because they're both totally taking this out of context and he's pretty sure that Harry isn't going to answer because that would be positively sinful--right.

"Please." Harry says quietly.

And yeah Louis shuts up pretty quick after that, not because Harry asked of course, but because he wanted to rest his voice box--really? Worst excuse ever. Like seriously.

(It's because Harry said please)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ! So yeah not long now.


	20. 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Writers block is such a bitch I swear it I wrote this chapter like seven times and this is the only one I was really happy with so yeah. Leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed it. Love you baii.

Chapter Twenty

 

If you had told him four weeks ago that he would later go on to become friends with Luke Hemmings he would have laughed in your fucking face and then would have teased you about it endlessly  from then onwards just to piss you off.

Luke is funny and though he may seen unapproachable he's pretty much a good laugh. "Luke The Laugh" Louis calls him and even though it doesn't catch on with any of the other guys Louis still uses the nickname.

Not that he's forgotten about Jade and Liam--because he hasn't-- but truth be told the two seem to be a little busy what with Jade going on and on about helping teachers out at lunch time and Liam saying that he's got a lot on his plate at the moment and just needs some alone time, which is ironic really because it's actually Louis that's suffering. He knows he's got people that love him no matter what but when it comes down to it--when it comes down to Taylor--she always finds a way of cracking the hard shell Louis had built up for himself.

It hurts, is the thing. That everyday no matter what he's doing Taylor will find a way to flip the table so that it ends up being about his sexuality. When really, it's nobody's business. When really, no one should really know in the first place.

Because it's nobody's business.

Louis is a smart guy,no really he is. He's got common sense and is good at making  decisions on the spot. Specialises in not telling people that he's in love with then. Fucking genius. Note the sarcasm.

He doesn't really know what he's doing until he's standing at their front porch, taking in the fresh green grass and the polished windows that somehow make Louis feel dirty and the brownish black door with the brass Lion head door knocker. He remembers Reece telling him the address at some point and shamefully he remembered it but at least he's here.

It's one of those new houses and it's pretty big and there's some clothes hanging off the balcony--on the edge of falling and Louis wonders for a second who had spread them so recklessly as if they were pieces of dirt, because that's what it seems like.

A plane flies too closely overhead and Louis shivers momentarily. Planes are such lucky basterds, never having to stay in places too long. Always moving on. Always.

What if no one answers?

Maybe that be better actually. Cause then Louis would get to say that he did it. It would be self satisfaction, because even though he's an idiot and is still in love with a guy that thinks he's a joke at least he had the guts to confront the one guy trying to destroy his school life--as if it wasn't bad enough. 

Louis shuts his eyes for a minute.

_Can you just give me a chance?_

That's what Reece had said. And so that's what Louis had done. A mistake on so many levels, really. And okay so Louis wasn't absolutely certain. But he'd only told two people that he was gay--Reece and Harry.

And Louis refused, absolutely refused to believe that Harry would be mean enough to out him like that. That would make Harry like the baddie in this and even though he already sort of was Louis refused to believe that he was that bad. Because everyone has that little bit of good inside them right?

So it had to be Reece. It's got to be. It'd be better anyways because it give Louis even more of a reason to hate the guy.

Five minutes pass and Louis can't help but feel relieved, just a little. Because he tried. He's knocked and he's actually here and no one's answered and now he can at least go home knowing that he's tried--he at least attempted. He turns on his heel and then feels like sprinting down the road when he hears the door opening.

Great.

There's a girl standing in the doorway, rubbing her eyes and blinking hard as if trying to awake herself and really? It's like almost 6pm. She's chewing gum ferociously, every now and then pausing to blow a pink bubble and she sort of smirks everytime it pops and Louis thinks that Darcy's really changed. Which is rightfully so since its been about three years since they encountered and she must have been around twelve then. There's a blank look on her face as she stares at Louis.

"Can I help you..?" She drawls, raising an eyebrow--definitely on fleek--expectantly, hand on her hip as if it somehow raises her status. Which may be true. For a start she's definitely taller than him, which, you know really sucks.

"Is Reece in?" Louis asks, puffing out his chest, pretty proud at how his voice doesn't waver.

"And you are..?" Another pop. Louis should have probably expected this question cause its not like she's going to let some random stranger into her room. Her dad taught her well.

"Louis." He answers.

"Huh." Darcy cocks her head to the side eyeing up Louis appreciatively. "Louis Tomlinson, right?" Louis nods. "The years have done you good, you know."

Louis flushes "Er thanks."

Darcy smirks. "No problem. But I'll only let you in on one condition."

"And what's that?"

"What's my name."

"Darcy." Louis scoffs. "Think I'd forget you."

"Just checking." Darcy smiles for the first time and it totally transforms her face making her look somewhat beautiful. "Do come in." She says ushering Louis inside and then shutting the door behind them. 

Louis takes in the staircase and the red walls and the blue carpet which don't really go together but look decent enough. Darcy leads him to the sitting room and Louis is sort of glad that no ones there and he sits himself down on the leather sofa, making sure to keep to one side and Darcy's chatting and everything and that and while Louis appreciates it he's really more focused on why he's here, which is definitely not to converse with a fifteen year old girl.

"Who is it?" A manly voice booms down the stairs and Louis immediately sits up straight remembering times when he'd come here in earlier years. Michael, Reece's dad was a strict and quite protective(or possessive) man and Louis isn't trying to be mean but that's probably why his wife left him.

"Oh dad, relax." Darcy says lightly as the man appears. And even though they've all changed Michael's one seems to be for the worst. He's shorter now, and noticeably sporting bold patches and a receding hairline which makes his face look a lot bigger than it actually is. And there's a few more wrinkles on his forehead and he's wearing a open shirt that exposes seventy percent of his chest and Louis is absolutely sure that his six pack has completely disappeared at this point. Michael takes one look at him and frowns considerably and Louis can't help but shift under such intense scrutiny.

"Dad, this is--"

"Louis." Michael finishes off for her.

"Nice to see you again, sir." Louis says politely standing up and outstretching a hand which ends up rejected. Michael takes a look at his hand and then back up at Louis not even attempting to shake it.

"Why are you here?" He asks. 

"I need to talk to Reece." And this time his voice wavers. It's not his fault though. The man in front of him is mean and old and blunt and basically everything that would be classed as intimidating.

"He's up in his room. Is that all?"

"Yeah pretty much." Louis shrugs hopelessly.

"Right." Michael nods at him and Louis is smart enough to know that, that is his cue to go. "First door on your left."

Louis takes his time up the fourteen steps and wonders why Reece's dad was acting so cold towards him. He doesn't remember doing anything to offend the man.

Louis knocks twice and can just tell by the static from the telly that Reece is in.

"Come in!" Reece shouts and he seems quite upbeat. He probably doesn't know that Louis' here is the only explanation. And he's probably right, considering the way Reece goes from smiling to sour all of in about two seconds. "Not you. You can't come in. Get out. "

"Rude." Louis says. "Look I just need to talk to you for a minute yeah?"

"Is it important?"

"Well I dunno Reece, I mean I did come all the way here didn't I?"

"How'd you know where I live anyways." Reece asks ignoring the sarcastic comment.

"You told me." Louis replies. "Quite a while ago."

"And you remembered?"

"I've got a good memory."

"Still in love with Harry, then?" Reece says idly turning his attention back to Homer Simpson.  Louis tries not to react to the name. But his heart begs to differ.

"That's not why I'm here." Louis says instead. "Look Reece, drop the act okay? I know we don't like each other.." Reece makes a sound that sounds distinctly like a whine but Louis pushes on ignoring it. "But I actually thought you were better than that."

"Better than what?"

"I said drop the act."

"I literally have no idea what you're rambling on about. Go on, Louis. Do enlighten me."

"Why would you tell everyone? I mean rumours don't just start for no reason. And you--you're the reason. You started it didn't you? And.." Louis furrows his eyebrows, remembering something. "And you did it to get back at me didn't you? Cause you caught me and Harry together. "

Reece eyes him for a few moments before letting out a long sigh and laying back on his bed, letting the tv fill the silence between them. "I was hurt." He admits.  "And I felt a bit stupid as well. Cause I guess I could kind of see the chemistry between the two of you. But you kept insisting that you were just friends and I wanted to believe you--I tried to believe you. So when I saw you guys it was like a fucking punch in the guts because first of all I hated the fact that Harry got you and I didn't, and second of all you lied. And I just--do you know how pitiful it is to be in love with someone that will never love you back?"

"More than you know." Louis says sadly before perking up. "You know I could tell everyone that you're gay?"

"I'd like to see you try." Reece snorts.

Which, when you think about it, Reece has sort of got a point. Girls like Reece and even though he doesn't necessarily like them back, there is this thing called pretending. And then again, there's the fact that Reece is mates with Taylor and anything to do with Taylor basically always wins.

"Why don't you tell Harry then."

"What?"

"Since you think I'm in love with him. Why don't you tell him just that."

"Cause it's mutual." Reece says crossing his arms behind his head.

"Don't fuck with my feelings." Louis snaps.

"So I'm right."

"I never said anything."

"But you implied it."

"Fuck you." Louis spits and all Reece does is nod. "Nice to see you let your anger out."

"Good luck getting over me." Louis says because fuck it he might as well end on a high instead of running out crying. Louis walks out of the room waggling his arse just because he can and he can literally feel Reece's gaze on his back.

The front is open when he gets there and he yanks it open, leaving without another word. This is when he lets out his tears--when he's down the road and away from all of the Jones family. When he's away from Reece.

Can you just give me a chance?

A chance to do what. Destroy him? Tear him down limb by limb? Cause he's doing that pretty well. Reece is a jerk, Louis decides. And he shouldn't have gone there because even though it had been nice to see Darcy, Reece just showed him that he really doesn't give a fuck. That he does not care that he's ruining Louis' life.

Gay people are shunned in society, that is the truth of it.  And he really shouldn't have expected anything anything less from the snide remarks and looks he receives at school but still. Reece has absolutely no right to do that. And Louis should probably do the same and get revenge but he doesn't want to sink down to Reece's level which is just low.

You don't treat someone you love like shit, you just don't.

***

It's nearing seven when he gets near his house. And he lights up when he sees someone on The Styles' front garden but then that person glances up and that someone is Harry. He's not doing much either. Legs hunched up against his chest and he glances at Louis for a second before dragging his eyes away.

Funny how Harry's always there when he's crying.

"Kinda late to be coming back, don't you think?" Harry says slowly, still not making eye contact with him.

"What's it to you?"

There's a pause and Harry licks his lips before picking himself up off the grass. "You're right. 's got nothing to do with me."

"Right." Louis says.  But Harry isn't shifting. Harry's giving him a look that Louis can't quite place what it means but being quiet seems better.  They stand there for a while and Louis is definitely struggling in this staring competition thingy, and tears are still slipping down his cheek making him look pathetic. He's pathetic.  Big boys don't cry. But Louis seems like the only exception and he sees Harry's fingers twitch but they don't move. Why are none of them moving?

"Why are you crying, Louis?" Harry asks quietly.

"No reason." Louis says too quickly, snapping out of the trance and wiping his cheeks. "Bye."

***

"Look just shut your mouth yeah?" Jade snaps to one of the guys. She may look like an angel but when it comes to her friends you really don't want to mess with her.

They leave pretty soon after that, and Jade wraps an arm round Louis pulling him closer to her. And that's how they walk down the hallways together, with Jade whispering sweet nothings into his ear, gently rubbing his back and snapping at anyone that hits a little too close to home. She's amazing, really.

"I think you're my favourite." Louis says opting for the dry sense of humour.

"That's good to know, Louis." Jade says smiling at him softly. "Where's Liam anyway?"

Louis shrugs. "Beats me."

"I do love you, you know. Whether you're gay or straight or bi or pan or whatever--whatever the fuck you are I will always love you." Jade says fiercely.

"I know." Louis nods. And she's basically given him the opportunity to say something about his sexuality thing. Yet Louis doesn't take the opportunity. Mostly because he doesn't think its time yet. "Love you too." He adds.

"You're so strong, Louis." Jade says. "I'm pretty sure if I were in your position I would have told an adult by now."

"It's fine." Louis says trying to wave it off. Because he has thought about it, when it gets too much he just dreams about marching over to the head teachers office and just saying it. But doesn't that basically fuel the rumours even more?

"No it's not fine. It's ridiculous. Stupid. It's--it's bullying, Louis."

"Thanks for sticking with me."Louis says instead. Talking about it makes it seem more real and Louis would rather hide from reality than to face it, head on.

Jade pulls Louis in tighter, so tight that they'll probably morph into one in a few seconds. "Even if there were rumours that you had killed someone, I'd still stick with you."

"Really mean that?"

"Really, really." Jade nods.

***

Louis stares emotionlessly through the transparent window and just through the droplets of rain he can make out Harry lying in bed, phone gripped tightly in his palm.

 _"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again? "_ Katy Perry shrills from his phone. 

Louis isn't sure why he chose to play this song. To make him sad really, because he doesn't deserve to be happy. There is no reason for him to be happy, there is nothing going right in his life, unless you count grades and Louis doesn't really count that.

_"Come on show 'em what you're worth."_

Louis actually laughs at that,not a hearty laugh though. The sad kind of ones.

The only thing Louis is worth was the fucking bet. And Louis wonders what reward Harry got since he won. Money? Taylor? Why did they even do it? And why chose him, his life was going great?

Why ruin it?

Why ruin him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Update Soon!"--I don't know when I will next be updating. Could be tomorrow, or next week or in a few days i have absolutely no idea. 
> 
> So did you like the chapter?


	21. 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry pov

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FUCKIN' LOVE THIS CHAPTER AND I HOPE YOU DO TOO. YEAN COME ON DON'T BE AFRAID TO BLOW UP THE COMMENTS SECTION!!

Chapter Twenty-One

 

It was like someone had stabbed him with an achingly sharp knife right through that precious little thing called his heart and had left a gaping hole right there.

And now he couldn't feel.  
He didn't get it--didn't understand it. Maybe cause he's never felt this way before, maybe because he's never allowed himself to feel like this. And he might have some sort of little inkling as to what the reason is but he refused to believe that... Because...no.

When he's confused he'll text Kendall, who always replies. They're not exactly friends but one time she came over and they didn't do anything remotely sexual. They just talked, and it was weird but at the same time nice.

Different.

At night his dreams never seem to differ from the same old, same old--it's always a boy, the same boy. And they'll be laughing together, about nothing in particular just laughing, smiling, eyes lighting up and then Harry always kisses the boy softly on his cheek and it's so very intimate that--  
Harry always wakes up at that point, panting and suddenly hot and a little sweaty and maybe he cries a little--but what does it even mean? Is it supposed to mean something? Some sort of significance.  
?

He forces himself to ignore it though, because dreams are just dreams and dreams aren't real. Dreams are fantasies that the mind conjures up simply for sleep entertainment.

So he continues with his life. If this even is what life is supposed to be like.  
He feels like he's missing something. (Or Someone) and he just isn't sure what, and it's basically confusing as fuck.

School is better because he can just forget about it. Because there's so much shit going on that it's so easy to just lose himself in all the drama.

\--Like the Louis thing for example.

The sad thing is he can actually see Louis breaking and not just physically but mentally too. With every word that flings itself onto the blue eyed boy and clings there,not budging--Louis is hurt. Any fucking human being could notice that.

Harry notices too.  
But he tries not to because it isn't any of his business. Louis isn't any of his business. He once was--he once was relevant in Harry's life but..but now he isn't. He's just another student--except, he isn't.  
And that doesn't make any sense.

And really you've got to admire Louis. Applaud him, in fact. Because he's still able to produce a smile when surrounded by the comfort of his friends--who are like always, always there to stop him from falling. Good friends too.

Harry used to be one of them. But...you know. It's stupid anyway, the way he's over thinking all of this. It's written in plain black and white in front of him--you took his virginity. He told you that he was in love with you. He found out about the bet and now he's a mess. And that's your fault. You did that. You messed him up. And you're an idiot for not telling him that you--  
Harry always shakes his head at that moment, removing such silly thoughts from his head.

He'd never seen Louis cry until that day in the toilets. And it had rubbed him up in all the wrong ways because...it isn't exactly a pleasure to see tears rolling down Louis' cheeks. And albeit he tries not to think about it too much. He'll end up thinking about it pretty much for the rest of the day.

Harry's favourite colour is blue--and what? What does that have to do with anything? Or maybe its like..everything.

He doesn't understand himself either.

  
***

Monday is a very dull day. It's raining, for one which basically puts everyone in a shit mood. Even Niall isn't as happy go lucky as usual. And the table is boring--mundane.

Taylor's makeup has smudged a little and she's in a very, very serious argument with Eleanor on who should use the eyeliner first. Not that he cares, but personally Harry would vote for Eleanor--cause she's less annoying.

It's sort of weird without Zayn.

Not that any of them mention it but he really did have a big impact on their little group. And now it's just..them. He doesn't know where Zayn goes at lunch because he's certainly not in the canteen--but it's probably somewhere private. Reserved. Must be better than here.

And.  
Reece.

Basterd.

Something was up today though, he could feel the penetrating glare that was coming from him and if given a few minutes will presumably burn a hole through his cheek. Which would be, you know absolutely magnificent. Because who doesn't want a hole in their cheek.

Exactly; nobody.

"Something wrong, Reece?" Harry sniffs, side eyeing him.

And what Reece should say is something irrelevant that Harry won't really care about and will most likely forget in the next few seconds and then all of them will move on with their teenage lives.

What Reece actually says comes as a surprise.

:"Louis."

Chatter stops abruptly and Harry tries and fails to react to it. To--to that name.

"The fuck does he have to do anything?" Josh spits, frowning considerably. "Fucking fag."

"We don't actually know that." Niall points out. "We are simply making a very strong assumption."

"Reece told us, didn't you Reece. And you don't lie do you." Taylor says.

Reece presses his lips firmly together, eyes drifting away..away to where said boy is sitting, oblivious to their discussion, not laughing but smiling--you could even say beaming.  
Luke is next to him. Luke is making him beam like the fucking sun. Luke is beaming back. Luke is--Harry drags his attention away at once instead deciding to focus on his lunch.

Luke Hemmings. And although Harry doesn't know much about him, the guy makes Louis happy.  
And maybe that's all the information he really needs.

"I find the topic boring. " Reece mutters eventually. And what does that mean? The topic is Louis and so does that--possibly mean that he finds Louis boring?

The Canteen suddenly feels too hot. Harry untangled his legs away from Taylor's reasonably slim ones and without a word walks through the doors and outside into the open.  
Into the rain. And it pelts him, hits him like a fucking train but he sort of welcomes it.  
Maybe he deserves this. No not maybe, he does. Definitely.

And he feels a rush of adrenaline and opens his arms wide, inviting the rain down to fall on him. Its cold and smells like..well rain and everything is good. And he isn't sure what's happening but he feels aberrant and psychotic and slightly on the insane side but--

"Harry?"

It's Zayn Malik, cheekbones and all, soaked and he looks slightly worried. And even though they're not exactly enemies, they're not friends either.

"What." He breathes slightly annoyed. He feels cold and he might even catch pneumonia but he couldn't give a fuck. He feels high of..off something and it had felt great.

"Mate, are you alright?" Zayn takes a hesitant step forward as if afraid of him--which is ridiculous because how can you be afraid of him? The worst thing he's ever done is...fuck a boy for a bet. And suddenly he wants to be alone.

"Splendid. Now please go."

"And leave you in this state?"

"I'm f--" Harry inhales the oxygen. "Fine. Why are you out here anyway?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"None of your business." Harry snaps and he's aware that he may look slightly dishevelled--curls matted to his head unattractively, shirt now attached to his skin and he's wet like everywhere--but he's fine.  
Maybe he just likes the rain.

"Look just come with me, yeah? I know this place near the car park and we could..we could go there. Just you and me. And maybe talk. Or not. Just--I can't leave you alone." And maybe it's because Zayn looks so--he's pleading and so maybe that's why Harry agrees. Or maybe its because he's cold and doesn't really know what he's doing anymore.

They don't talk on the way there. But actions speak louder than words and Zayn is definitely shouting with the way he throws a glance in Harry's direction every fucking two seconds. Harry does not like being scrutinized. But he does not want to be the first to break the silence so he allows it, jeans drenched with water causing his movements to be a little more delayed. Harry wonders how long untill the end of the lunch period.

  
It's quiet and cut off and of course Zayn knows a place like this. Harry would never be able to find this area in a million years. There's a tree--just the one and Zayn leans against it, gesturing for Harry to come next to him. The leaves take most of the pelting bullets from the rain so they're slightly less wet.

They sit with nothing but the rain and the distant sound of members of staff chatting quietly. And then Harry remembers that he's at school--right of course.  
Obviously.

"Are we even allowed here?" Harry finds himself asking.

"Definitely not." Zayn answers.

"Badass." Harry mocks weakly, out of breath a little as if everything that happened in the last ten minutes was coming back to catch up with him.

"Surprisingly enough." Zayn hum's, crossing his legs. "Liam actually found it."

"You're joking." Harry says in disbelief.

"Absolutely not."

"You've corrupted him."

Zayn shrugs, a smirk forming slowly on his face. "Maybe he wanted to be corrupted."

Harry could take that in two different ways.

"I've never felt this way before." Zayn mentions. Harry turns to face him, raising an eyebrow but not uttering a word because it's so rare to see Zayn like this, all open and just--they're talking. And it doesn't involve spiteful mean words. "Sometimes it's a little overwhelming." A pause. "Cause its like everything he does I just fall that much deeper in love with him." Zayn rubs the back of his neck consciously, glances at Harry momentarily before settling on staring straight ahead.  "And it's like, I just want to tell, everyone how I feel. Shout it from the rooftops and all that bull."

"Then do it." Harry says simply. Because by right it should be simple. Being in love is the most simplest thing in the world yet everyone turns it into something complicated. When it isn't.

To love someone is easy.

"Oh come off it, Harry. Surely you've heard about Louis. Nobody wants to be treated like that, least of all me. And maybe Liam isn't ready for that either and I don't want to,  you know--ruin that for him."

"And if Liam felt the same way?"

"I wouldn't give a donkeys fuck what anyone thought. Cuz we'd both be in it..together."

"Then talk to him about it. Tell him."

"Yeah cause that worked out well for you and Louis. God, it must be awful falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back, I can't even imagine what he's going through."

Harry keeps quiet instead deciding to blink a few times.

"I think Liam may reciprocate your feelings." Harry says thoughtfully.

"And I think you may reciprocate Louis' feelings." Zayn retorts seeming offended by Harry's reply.

"Don't make up lies, Zaynie boy." Harry denies immediately and that gaping hole in his heart just got a little bigger.

"Then don't say stupid shit like that." Another pause. "Liam and I were snogging on his bed on Saturday and then we heard his dad coming up the stairs and he made me hide under his bed."

"And?"

"And I hate that kind of shit. Like he's not in love with me enough to tell his family."

"Then wait till he is."

"And how long will that be? Forever?"

"If you love someone, you'll wait a lifetime for them. That is, if you love them enough."

Zayn glances at Harry again, its brief but its the expression. "Since when did you become the wise owl of the west?"

"Is that even a thing?" Harry questions.

"Take the compliment."

So Harry does. "You know,this doesn't make us friends or anything."

"Pfff." Zayn scoffs. "The thought never even crossed my mind."

"Good. Just checking."

"And under no circumstances are you to tell Liam or like anyone what I just told you."

"Wouldn't dream of it. As long as you don't say a word about--well whatever I was doing back there."

"Yeah, what were you doing? I was scared for you. You looked so out of it and that's just--a bit weird don't you think? "

"I don't know." Harry answers honestly. Because he doesn't, doesn't even understand it himself. And his skin itched  at the mere thought of it and it just--it annoyed him that he just allowed himself to let go like that. At school. In public. In front of Zayn. Because of--  
Harry leaned further back against the trunk and allowed the uneven bark to cut into his skin a little and closed his eyes and it rained some more overhead and he heard Zayn sigh and that was that.

***

Harry: Come round.

Kendall: Y?

Harry: Please. I need someone to talk to.

Kendall: Talk to ur sister she's a girl ain't she? Plus she hates my ass so I don't think I'll be comin round any time soon.

Harry: Please.

 

Kendall doesn't reply and Harry tries not to feel disappointed or anything. They're not even friends. Not really anyways. And there's no fucking way he's going to Gemma,not when Louis is with her anyway.

Louis comes round a lot, is the thing. But miraculously the two haven't run into each other and Harry can only thank the heavens for that. It's a normal Friday night, really. His mum is confined to her room watching romantic movies(he should know he's heard her "awhh's" and "For God's sake kiss her!!" around 15   times.) and Gemma is with Louis doing..well whatever they're doing and Harry's here all by himself.

And at this point he'll even settle for Zayn as a companion he just needs someone to listen to him while he rattles on about things that don't make sense hoping that the person listening can somehow put all the pieces together and just..Harry is really confused.

And falling asleep is definitely not an option. Because then he'll have to go through the torture of that dream and he'll wake up anyway so there's no point.

His phone is no fucking use. His whatsapp is dead, the last person he'd talked to was Niall and that was bloody ages ago and he's just..alone.

And maybe that's why he gets out of bed and exits his room, staring at Gemma's white door hard before deciding to knock. Nothing wrong with hanging with your sister, of course.

Gemma should be fucking grateful that he decided to knock cause he usually won't do that but he's feeling nice today.

Yet none of this prepares him for none other than Louis opening the door. And--okay. Louis who looks so soft and perhaps even smaller and he's eyes are bloodshed but there's still a trace of blue and he's got prominent bags under his eyes and he just screams tired and there's absolutely nothing wrong with Harry wanting to hug him. Just a natural instinct.

"Oh um. I just thought it was Anne but.." And his voice sounds so weak, as if on the edge of breaking and this is just...awful.

"Stop talking." Harry says and it comes out a little rude, which wasn't his intention.

Louis bites his lip slightly before averting his eyes down to the floor. He's not talking. He actually listened.

"No I mean--"

"What do you want H?" Gemma says appearing suddenly.

"Was just wondering if," Harry mutters eyes still trained on Louis. "I could hang with you guys."

"Ermm.." Gemma draws out the word longer than necessary, eyes flicking towards Louis before back to him. "Not sure that's a good idea."

"I'm just really bored. I won't talk, if you guys like. I'll just blend in with the walls, that's cool too."

Gemma rolls her eyes but she's smiling a little. "Fine but--that okay with you Louis?"

Louis shrugs wondering further inside the room and snuggling into the bed, back resting against the headboard. And Harry wants to sit on the bed--entirely cause its more comfortable than the floor but--Harry places himself daintily on the floor.

"We were just jamming to music. " Gemma explains. "But I guess we could watch a movie now. So we've got 'The Fault in our stars' or 'Pitch Perfect 2'."

"The Fault in our stars." Him and Louis say at exact same time and Harry glances at Louis searching for a reaction , or just something really, but he's met with Louis picking at the covers, eyes never straying.

Gemma puts it on and whilst Louis and Gemma are engaged with the film at all times Harry isn't. He finds himself watching Louis instead. Cause his reactions are sort of cute and really soft. Like when something's funny the corners of his mouth will twitch just a little and Gemma will nudge him as if daring him to actually laugh. And that's really sweet, Harry thinks. Real friendship, right there. Or when the inevitable death of Augustus happens Louis sniffs a little, resembling a little child while Gemma sobs openly--"Oh My God, no!" She cried. "Haven't you watched this before?" Louis had asked. "Yeah, but it gets me every time."--and Harry will laugh at her but then he sees Louis and the laugh dies in his throat and turns to something more softer and it's just different.

Harry feels something. And he thinks he knows. Maybe he's always known.

By the end of movie, Harry admits to himself that he's in love with Louis Tomlinson.


	22. 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry pov.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long. Well for my standards at least. Hope you enjoy it xx

Chapter Twenty-Two

  
Feelings are for the weak. Harry was the weakest. And it just gets worse.  
His love for Louis just gets worse. Or better, depending on how you look at it.  
Last week Harry walked in on Louis sobbing into Gemma's shoulder uncontrollably and had slowly backed out of the room. Not because he found the situation awkward or anything,but because he didn't want to see Louis cry.

Pathetic right?

Ironic really, because he was the cause of it all and it should just be so simple to just talk to him..except Harry didn't know how to act, didn't know where to place his hands or whatever, or where to look because eye contact is a definite no no. Didn't know what to say and ended up just looking like a jerk.

At least tell him how you feel.

Harry always sniggered at that point, because there was absolutely no way that Louis could still be in love with him after all the shit that had happened.  
Would be a fucking miracle if he was though.

And he didn't know what to do. Because feelings are weak and if Louis was mean enough he could just walk all over him after he'd poured out his heart to him--if he decided to indeed do just that.

Harry was weak. Pathetic. And terribly, terribly in love. And he always knew. He knew when Louis told him he loved him that he felt the same.  
He just didn't say it. And what a fuck up that was.  
He could imagine it sometimes. Just imagine..him and Louis going on romantic dates together, holding hands, maybe even a little bit of PDA. Them saying how much they love each other. Saying it as easy as it was to breathe. Harry telling him how beautiful he was just so he could see Louis do that crinkly eyed smile. Harry kissing his neck, dotting it with love bites, spending all day with him, making him feel better. Just everything. Everything with Louis.

And it hurt to know that he was just fantasizing. To know that it might not actually happen. To know that Louis would do all those stuff with another person.

Loving can hurt sometimes and Harry only knows that too well.

At least tell him you love him. He at least deserves to know. And you deserve to know whether he's still in love with you.

Well.

Maybe he would. If he could manage to look into blue eyes without wanting to cuddle him.

Feelings are for the weak and Harry was certainly the weakest.

***

A boy. His boy. Harry leaned over to brush his lips against delicate cheekbones, squeezing dainty hands in the process. "You are so beautiful." Harry said pressing a kiss to the boy's forehead. A flush was visible as the boy blushed. Harry smiled and the boy prodded at his dimples grinning as it deepened. A kiss. Lips against lips, a mix of tongues.  
Blue eyes.  And--  
Oh.

Louis.  
Louis was the boy. Louis was 'his' boy. Harry wishes he could stumble back into that universe because it had felt so damn real. And as he gulped he sweared he could taste a bit of Louis. He wanted all of Louis.  
Just everything.

His bed was decent but he hates sleeping alone. He wound the covers tightly around his body, pulling it closer and inhaled.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." Harry said without bothering to look up. He buried himself deeper into his mattress and lay still, just breathing. At least he could do that. It was simple enough.  Breathe in. Breathe out.

"Uhm. Hey, I was wondering if you had an extra pillow. "  
Harry sits up slowly, blinking because he's actually here. Louis is actually there. In superman pyjamas, that tug a fond smile onto his face, which falls when he realises that Louis isn't smiling back.  
Obviously not.

Just lie down with me.

"You're staying over?"

"No I'm just randomly asking for a pillow." And even though his voice cracks a little, he's being sarcastic. He's getting better.

"Right." Harry says, averting his eyes away from alluring blue ones. "Right." He says again.  
Christ, Louis is so damn distracting.

"What did you want again?" He asked totally forgetting.

"You know, if you didn't want to give me any, you could have just said." And he turns on his heel walking away. Away from him. And this is probably the only chance he'll have where it'll just be him and Louis. So he can't walk away. Not now. Hopefully not ever.  
So Harry's never gotten out of bed as quick as he did at that moment.  
He seized Louis' wrist , knowing that if he inches his fingers down just a little bit, they'd be holding hands.

Knowing that he couldn't do that.

Louis flinched and fuck, Harry wasn't expecting that. He removed his arm away from Harry's grasp and stood staring at Harry, an expectant look on his face. Right.

Can't I just kiss you?

"'m sorry." Harry apologised. "I wasn't like concentrating or whatever. Do you want the red one or the yellow one."

"Any." Louis said, frowning slightly.

"So yellow." Harry decided. Because Louis deserved to shine like the fucking sun.  
He trudged over to the bed aware that Louis was watching him.  
It was silent as Harry picked up the pillow with the yellow pillowcase, slowly. Slowly because he didn't want Louis to leave.

Harry turned round, smiling a little before handing the pillow over, their fingertips brushing with the action.

I'm in love with you.

"Thanks." Louis said quietly and he was turning away and leaving. Leaving.

No.no.no.

"Louis?" Harry called watching as he slowed to stop and turned round again, expressionless. "I..."

Go on. Do it. Tell him. Say it. You love him you idiot. Even if it took you a lifetime to admit it. Even if it's too late. He deserves to know. "love you." It was quiet. So quiet. He'd said it so quietly he wasn't even sure if he'd heard it himself. When he glanced up Louis was still looking at him. Maybe he hadn't heard.

"What?" Louis persisted after the silence got the best of them.

So he decided to say the next best thing.

"I'm sorry."

It was like a cloud had appeared and Louis' face changed dramatically. His eyes held anger and maybe a million emotions that Harry would never know about. Would never understand.

"Don't you dare." Louis said. "I'm serious Harry. I've forgotten about it. I'm over it. You should be too. I'm okay. It's laughable actually. And hey, at least I won't be nervous when I'm having sex with someone I love right? So thanks for that. No need to apologise. It's okay. Lets forget it."

when I'm having sex with someone I love.

Harry's heart shattered quietly.

"Oh right." He stuttered helplessly.

"Yeah."

"Well..night."

"Goodnight Harry." Louis said softly and exited the room as silently as he had entered it.

Harry switched off the light and went over to his bed, lying down and bringing the covers up to his chin, like he used to do when he was a little boy.  
He was not crying.

***

Harry sat quietly at lunch, even managing to stuff a few dry meatballs between his lips. They chattered around him, oblivious to his inner battle. It had been a long night and today would be an even longer day. He moved robotically, smiling when people asked him if he was alright, managing to walk without his legs crumpling beneath him, talking without saying what he really felt, blinking a little quicker than usual because he would absolutely not allow himself to cry over this.

His first love broke his heart for the first time and it felt heart-rending.

"Styles?"

Harry glanced up rather quickly, snapping out of his trance. "Yeah?"

Perrie shot him a weird look but smiled nevertheless. "'m having another party this weekend, was wondering if you wanted to come?"

"Nah." He says immediately. "Not in the mood."

"Oh right." Perrie looks a bit taken aback. "Pegged you for an absolute party animal."

"Eh well." Harry responded with a halfhearted shrug.

"Oh come on, Harry." Taylor says. "It'll be fun. You've looked sort of down in the dumps lately and you know how alcohol takes the pain away and all that shit."

"You make a very convincing argument." Harry said, managing to get a trace of humour into his voice, he plastered on a small smile as well just for the fun of it.

"Is that a yes?"

Oh fuck it. He'll probably do something he'll regret if stays at home by himself.  Maybe this would be good for him. He could fuck a few girls and just try to forget, forget all of this. For one night at least.

"Yeah." He says. Perrie sends him a smile before continuing to pick at her food and Harry forces himself not to glance over at..him.  
Don't do this to yourself.

"Who's coming?" He asks conversation wise.

"Anyone, I guess. The more the merrier." Perrie grins smugly as if in on some private joke.

"You're enthusiasm annoys me." Leigh Anne says dryly.

"Maybe that was my plan."

"Whateverr. So I was thinking we do a squad thing. Like, everyone wear somthing blue. A blue accessory, blue shoes, hairband. Think it'd be cool right?"

"Blue is overrated." Harry finds himself saying. That's a lie because it certainly isn't overrated, it's just that a certain boy has blue coloured eyes.

"Uhm no." Eleanor counters. "According to Victoria Beckham blue is the new black. Like totally."

"Never understood all this blue is the new black thing or orange is the new black." Reece mutters. Harry glares at him silently, the thought only just occurring to him--could Louis be with Reece? After all he had caught them together in the toilets and like..  
Don't do this to yourself.

Harry let the thought go, allowed it to fly away and focused on the big clock, ticks barely audible over the sounds of students.

Twenty-five minutes until the end of lunch. Harry spent twenty-one of them trying not to think about Louis and desperately failing.

***

Saturday arrived with the sun, and Harry awoke bright and early heading to the bathroom for a shower and a brush of teeth.  
Before he knew it, seven o' clock had reached and albeit the party had started an hour ago, Harry thought it an absolute must to arrive fashionably late.

He then made a decisive decision to wear a black t-shirt and black skinny jeans which he knew would cling to his legs in a sinful way--back to this bad boy look then. Maybe he could pretend to be that guy again, just for today. Pretend that he still disliked Louis instead of the complete opposite. He ruffled his hair a bit before heading downstairs. His mum was sat on the leather sofa, reading a newspaper, the rumble of noise in the background coming from the telly.

"So I'm going now." He said.

"Have a nice time yeah? Also no more than three bottles of wine or whatever it is you kids drink these days , if anything promise me that okay? And I'd also appreciate it if you didn't stumble back at midnight with a random girl--not exactly every mum's dream is it?"

"I'll only have two bottles max." Harry promises.

"And the girls?"

"Well if the alcohol gets the best of me then I'm going to make imbecilic decisions aren't I?"

"Harry." said, raising a motherly eyebrow.

"I was joking, mum."

"Wasn't very funny."

"You're absolutely right. Must've got my bad jokes from you." Harry said grinning.

"Cheeky." Anne feigned an appalled face. "Alright c'mon give us a hug." She said getting up to embrace him. They stood like that for a while before Anne moved back, a little grabbing Harry's cheeks. "God, look how handsome my boy is."

"Mum." Harry said trying not to blush. "Stop."

"You're still my baby, remember?"

"Yeah. Yeah."

"You love the attention, H."

"I'm not admitting to anything."

"Alright I'll let you go now." She said gazing at him fondly before giving him one last squeeze on the shoulder.

"Finally." Harry huffed but regardless still gave his mum a sweet peck on the cheek.

Anne smiled at him and they did their secret little mother, son thing where they poked each others cheek--Harry's idea when he was seven, he was young alright?

***

The first thing Harry noticed when he walked through Perrie's door was Louis, perched on the end of a sofa and he actually contemplated on walking right out because why?  
But no.  
Because Harry sort of had to accept the truth now--Louis had kind of indirectly said that he wasn't in love with him anymore so he had to move on. Forwards not backwards.

So he forced his legs to walk right past him and ended up to in the kitchen where there were endless couples making out furiously on table tops and counters and who even were half of these people? He grabbed the glass bottle that was nearest to him, cold against his fingertips and glugged it down not bothering to check what it was exactly.  
He didn't care. Just needed to forget.

Once he'd downed it, he tossed it aside feeling a little guilty, because this was someone's house--Perrie's house--but, you know, he didn't care. Just do. Do whatever.

Fuck Louis. No, no, no. Cause now he's thinking of the time were he actually did fuck Louis.  The feeling of him...his body splayed out on the bed all open and just--just his. The fucking noises that escaped from those lips...the feeling--  
There was a girl checking him out. She'd been watching him for a few minutes now. Harry eyed her slowly, taking in her slim legs, wide hips, full chest, nice boobs a slender neck which led to a pretty face. Wide blue eyes--though it was hard to tell in this light--and full lips. She smiled slowly, lips stretching and he could tell already that she'd be good at giving head.

She sashayed over slowly, dress barely covering her thighs, smile never leaving her lips.  
Harry watched calmly not really knowing what to feel--not really feeling anything. She was just a pretty face. She wasn't..him.

"Hey you." She had a raspy voice that would be considered sexy and seductive.

Harry gave her another once over and forced a smirk onto his face. "Err sorry what? just got a little lost in your eyes."

She laughed, tossing her blonde over her shoulder and cocking her head to one side and leant in closer. "Never heard that one before."

"It's an original." Harry replied.

"I bet." Another twinkly laugh. Another hair flick. A lick of lips, another smile. She tugged on a strand of his hair, tugging him closer. "Never seen a guy with curls before. That original too?"

Harry cleared his throat, suddenly overwhelmed by everything, her ability to flirt like there was no tomorrow, her musky perfume, the purpose of what she wanted written clear in those eyes. "Guess so."

"I'm Cara, but I'm guessing you want more than just my name right?"

Harry nodded meekly. "'m David."

"So. What brings you here?" She asks her fingers landing on Harry's arm, not moving, just there.

"Just felt like partying." and then "You don't go to our school, do you?" Cara shakes her head. "So how are you here?"

"Let's just say Perrie and I go way back." The quirk of her lips suggesting something more. Harry doesn't dwell on it.

"Right." Harry says.

"Right." Cara echoes, seemingly amused, fingers dancing their way down to Harry's wrist before lacing their fingers together. Her eyes flicker down to Harry's lips just the once and then she's leaning in. Their lips brush and Cara is quick to open up his mouth and explore and it just..it should feel right but it just doesn't. It doesn't feel like Louis. It feels dull and when their tongues push against each other he doesn't feel anything. He just knows that this isn't right. He pulls away already apologising, alcohol slurring his words together fumbling into one and it might not make sense but he thinks she gets the gist.

"What the fuck, you jerk!" She says giving him a slap that stings even minutes later. Harry thinks he deserved it.

"Sorry." He says one last time and he pushes away from her, stumbling, feeling a little dizzy, light headed. Everything feels surreal.

He can't see much but there's a window open, casting silvery moonlight into the room and he catches sight of Louis.  
And Luke.

And he knows they're just friends--or at least thinks they are--but there's something so intimate about the way Luke's leaning in, a grin on his face that annoys him.  
Basterd.

Harry walks over briskly--or as much as he can manage whilst intoxicated--and stops just in front of the two, noticing the way Louis' body stills, the moonlight catching his blue irises and causing them to shine like neon stars and damn is he beautiful. So fucking sublime that it takes Harry's breath away, literally. Luke eyes harden as he locks eyes with him and then his eyes glance back at Louis before settling on him.

"You alright Harry?" He says in a clipped tone which obviously means 'can you go'.

"Uh yeah fine." He gulps, eyes locked on the boy he loves while said boy seems to find the ground more entertaining.  
Look up.

"Louis look at me." Harry says--pleads--even for a second he just--he doesn't even know but he just needs Louis to look at him. "Please." He adds.

Louis stares at him eyebrows raised, not saying anything.

"I'm sorry." Harry says. Already Louis is sighing, rolling his eyes. no. "No I mean..i just. Why are you doing this Louis, why?"

"What are you talking about?"

"No I mean. Fuck, I don't even know. I just know that I want you so fucking much that it hurts and like.."

"Harry don't." Louis averts his eyes to somewhere behind him, avoiding eye contact. "You're drunk."

"Yeah I know I am but I mean every single word. All of it. I'm in love with you okay? And I should have said it ages ago, I know that but I didn't and it's the worst fucking mistake I've ever made in my life. Louis I'm so, so sorry and you're just... This is cheesy I know but I wanna give you the fucking world--or as much as I can. And I want to hold your hand and take care of you--"

"Harry don't." Louis says again, gently this time and he can see him blinking back tears and a throat clears and he remembers that Luke is with them. And he's about to tell him to fuck off, he really is because that's their moment so why the fuck is he ruining it, but he feels a rush in his stomach, that unknown bottle coming back to haunt him.

Fuck.  
Fuck.  
Fuck.

Harry ends up hurling and it's quick and fast and his throat just hurts and everything just hurts and he maybe even wants to go home.

"dude, my shoes!"

And he's spinning, a million fucking times and then everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would appreciate it if you left comments on what you thought of the chapter! xx


	23. 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, but I also want to thank you for all your lovely comments on the last chapter, you are all so amazing! 
> 
> Sorry for this chapter :(

Chapter Twenty-Three

  
Harry looks celestial under the harsh, unforgiving light from the sun, unfairly resembling a fallen angel. It reminds him of the first time he had seen Harry, he had looked like an angel then too.   
Harry's curls illuminate warmth as he stares right back, gaze unwavering, an indescribable curiosity buried deep beneath his jade green irises.   
And for a moment it feels like they're the only two people in the world. Like it's just him and Harry.   
And Louis feels his heart constrict deep beneath his chest. It doesn't hurt. More like an ache, if anything.   
An ache that won't leave him alone.

'I wanna give you the fucking world' echoing round and round in his head like swimming stars. And stars can't swim and shit, and so why is Louis dawdling over this. over words.   
over Harry.   
And it's not like he hasn't noticed. Cause he has. And it's like Harry can't keep his eyes off of him now, always searching him out and then this.   
The silent stares that somehow speak more than words through crowds of people.   
Louis ponders on what it all means.

Eventually he looks away, the feeling of something clawing desperately at his heart, and decides to have the view of moss coloured trees instead.

Nothing seems to make sense anymore.

He tries not to think about it sometimes. But it's always there, in the back of his mind, lingering aimlessly. Verdigris and myrtle cloud his vision and it's just too much and so Louis tears his eyes upwards, towards the blue sky--because this colour doesn't remind him of anything.  
And he breathes--must remember to keep breathing.   
And he tries to forget because it's better this way. It's better not to think of weather Harry meant it or not.   
It's best to act like he doesn't care.

And so that's what he does. And he hopes it works. Hopes Harry stays away from him. Hopes he can move on from this. And he's already halfway there, he thinks.

Harry does not love him.   
Probably just another stupid bet to mess with him again. To mess with his head.   
And mess with his heart.

Because he thinks Harry knows what sort of power he has over Louis, knows he can always get under his skin.

Yet he still clenches his fists as he catches sight of Taylor, in his peripheral vision, planting a chaste kiss onto Harry's creamy cheeks.  
He tells himself that he does not care.   
Even if it is a lie.

\--which it totally isn't.

But maybe.   
..maybe he does still feel something for him. Because deep down, he knows  there's still a little bit of his heart that belongs to Harry.   
Just a little bit of his heart that wants Harry to love it.   
He knows.

Louis had always been a big believer that love was facile, and that everything you've ever watched on the movie screens was a-hundred-and-one percent accurate. And that you could, in fact, fall in love with someone in ten days, reach for a book in archaic libraries at the exact same time and lock lips over Spaghetti Bolognese.   
But in actuality it is all lies.

Love is an incredibly powerful word--an incredibler feeling. Four prosaic letters, that could be the epitome of someone else's existence, yet mean nothing to others.  
It's a contradiction. Rare to find, easy to lose.   
Love can make you feel so good, like you're on cloud nine but it could also ruin you, can tear your heart as quickly as it filled it up. It's also hard. And it isn't as straight forward as it seems. It's like a jungle, the perplexity of it all, the ups and downs and all those fucking twists. It's complicated. Always complicated.   
Love is always complicated. So fuck whoever said it was easy.

Louis isn't sad, he just isn't happy either. And he's not afraid of the dark and the dentist--he's more afraid of how strongly his feelings take over his whole being sometimes, like now.   
He forces his feet to stay planted to the hard concrete ground, refusing to drift away. Not now. Just not now.   
His cheeks flush with the intensity of Harry's direct gaze but he refuses to look over.

Louis squirms in his seat on the bench as the silent wind picks up it's pace, lifting up his loose blue top in an abrupt fashion, sun blinding him from a far distance.

 He wishes he had a someone.

A boyfriend to love him, someone who would treat him right, treat him good, you know. He wants to fall in love again but this time falling for all the right reasons. And he's young, he knows. But he's pretty certain about what he wants, wants to be one of those kids that end up marrying their high school sweetheart sorta shit.

Romantic, huh.

It's not so much that he's insecure or whatever, more that he's gotten weaker. But he's also gotten tougher in a way too, doesn't allow people too close and that, keeps everyone distant. Cause once you let people in, you give them easy access to your heart strings allowing them to tug at it and wrench whenever they please.   
He learnt this shit the hard way. But at least he knows now.   
He knows.   
Cause you've got to make mistakes to learn from them right?  
 So Harry was a mistake. A careless one.

It doesn't give him the closure he had hoped for.

The sun blinds him some more, it's companion--the soft breeze--swaying gently to an unheard tune.  
Maybe it's trying to tell him something.

He catches sight of Ashton in the nearing distance, rapidly approaching at an uneven pace, beach blonde hair flying behind him carelessly in the wind and Louis admires the sun kissed skin underneath. Ashton stops right in front of him, a small smile appearing and spreading across his face like warm butter.

"You okay?" He asks, tone soft, delicate in a way, as if he speaks too harsh it'll somehow break him.   
Somehow break down the remaining walls he has left.

"Ace." Louis replies, shrugging his left shoulder in a bored fashion and then whirling his shoulders anticlockwise, removing all the sudden tension from them. "Splendid, even!"

"You're not fooling me, Louis. " Ashton says briskly, letting out a low chuckle that echoed through Louis' veins. "Not fooling anyone."

Louis shakes his head, repeating the action on a loop wanting to assure Ashton that 'everything is absolutely perfect'   
Even if it isn't. Even if everything is the complete opposite.

Ashton stares hard at him and Louis feels himself being scrutinized under his gaze, body shivering as if suddenly cold.

Everything is fine.

"I'm not an alien, stop looking at me like that." Louis snaps, curling his arms, upon instinct round his stomach. It feels soft.   
Frail.   
When was the last time he had had breakfast?

Ashton apologises quickly moving on to talk about the footie match from last night, eyes lighting up, obviously one of his preferred sports.   
Louis tunes out, mind drifting to far away, his mind and his heart always in two different places--never cooperating.  
No wonder he's a mess.

"--right?"

"Uh yeah." Louis replies stupidly, trying to force his brain to catch up with his mouth.

Ashton smiles amusedly. "You didn't hear a thing I said did you?"

"Well not necessarily, I'm just --"

"Tired?" Ashton finishes for him and even though it wasn't exactly what he was going to say it still hits pretty close to home.

Louis stays quiet at that, sniffing for no apparent reason, shrinking in on himself.   
So maybe its true. He is tired. But once upon a time it was just tiredness because of lack of sleep. Now, however he was tired of life.   
Tired of living, tired of waking up to the same white painted ceiling.   
Tired of sleeping with a broken heart.

Nobody wants you.    
Nobody needs you.   
Nobody cares.

Louis tries to push the thought away, tries to ignore it but it's there, attaching itself to every available place and.  
and it makes Louis want to sob. But he tries not to, because he wants to be stronger than that.   
He needs to be stronger than that.

He catches Harry's eye a few minutes later and watches as the boy smiles slowly, dimples popping out of his cheeks and Louis sees that there's hope in his eyes.   
Why?   
What does Harry want from him since he's taken it all. He's taken everything that Louis could give.

And nobody will want him now.   
Nobody.

Louis glances down at his lap, biting down on his bottom lip so hard he's sure he can taste blood.   
And so he chews down harder, sinking his fingers onto his jeans and just placing them there, unmoving.

Be still my beating heart.   
And learn to love yourself, even if there's no one there to love you.

And then it takes him a beat to realise that Ashton is still at staring at him expectantly.   
Right. Answer him. The whole speaking bull and all.

"I'm fine." He says--he always says that. He's always lying now.   
Doesn't want people to know that it's getting to him.   
That Harry is getting to him.

So.   
This isn't what happiness feels like.

 


	24. 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this makes up for the really vague last chapter!! xx

Chapter Twenty-Four

  
Chocolates' are an absolute delight.  
They're the kind of sweets that make your tongue moan and your teeth whine irately but Harry decides that he doesn't care.  
He also decides that the galaxy bar that is melting softly in his mouth is in-fact very, very nice. Also sticky, did he mention sticky? Gluing itself to the coarse exterior of the insides of his mouth, causing him to feel abhorrent.

His mother hands him another one silently as soon as he's gobbled the first, and she makes that face where she raises an eyebrow and the questioning look in her eyes shine brighter than the sun outside--it makes want Harry to shrink back to baby-size and curl up against her chest but he doesn't because big boys are strong.  
And so that's what Harry needs to be.

"That's the last galaxy." His mum informs him as he fiddles with the wrapper, wrinkling his nose in the process, his pyjamas suddenly feeling a little too tight--oh right because chocolate isn't good and shit.

"'s fine." Harry shrugs. "I'll resort to my lovely bed which you kindly made for me this morning--thanks for that, by the way."

"It's fine, honey." Anne flashes a grin. "Smile please."

"Huh?"

"Smile." His mother repeats, fingers fiddling with his curls absentmindedly, voice always soft and considerate. "I swear, you just look so depressed. Smile for me baby."

Harry tilts his lips upward towards the ceiling, feigning happiness, watching his mum examine him with sad eyes. No. That's not what he wants, his mum should be happy--she at least deserves to be.  
Harry does not.

It doesn't stop him from wanting to though.

"I'm brilliant, mum. I mean there's good weather and all, so how could I not be happy? It's infectious, is what it is." He doesn't know why he lied, cause if anything it just makes the pain worse.

"Well if you're sure." She says, cautiously.

"I'm sure." Harry assures her, nodding his head for emphasis.

"So you won't mind if I go head out with my girlfriends for a night out will you?"

"Absolutely not. It's the weekend you should--you deserve to have some fun. Get away from me and Gems for a bit."

"It'd be good, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Great, so I'll see you later, pumpkin." She says pressing a kiss to his temple, before heading out of his room, the last thing Harry hearing is her yelling for Gemma to get her heels before the door shuts.

He's alone again. No need to pretend for anyone, now. And so the smile slides off his face and Harry's even pretty sure that the sun shifts away a little obviously not wanting him to rain on it's parade.  
   
As he's come to realise him and his thoughts don't bode well together, his thoughts often melancholy and disconcerting. He needs a distraction--something to distract him.

He needs Louis.  
But that's something he can't have.  
Maybe something he'll never have.

He traces the plump outline of his lips, shutting his eyes as he imagines Louis straddling him, asking stupid frivolous questions which Harry secretly loves, as Harry's fingers fiddle hurriedly with the button of his jeans.

Shit.

Harry's hands descend lower and lower untill they're resting atop of his pyjama trousers, visions of Louis' beautiful face smog his vision and it doesn't take much after that, as a few seconds later he's gripping his length, already so fucking hard--because only Louis can do this to him.

He hisses slightly because its been so long...so fucking long. Too long. And he's so fucking hard. And all he can think about is Louis.

He drags his hand up and down his shaft allowing soft, quiet moans to escape from his parted lips. He runs it up and down, ears picking up on the slick sounds his hand is making as it rubs against his dick.

He isn't going to last long, he's known from the beginning, as the image of Louis moaning yet managing to be controlling at the same time appears in his mind, it's so hot that he almost thinks it's legit.  
Almost.

He places his thumb against the head, making a sort of chocked gasp at how good the sensation is. So fucking good. Harry bites down on his lip, almost drawing blood not wanting to lose himself too much as he needs to remember that Gemma's somewhere around the house too.  
Somewhere.

Another series of tugs and he can feel it building up in his stomach--can feel it filling him up just waiting for it's cue to be released. He feels warm and can allow himself to smile a little daze-stricken, as something marvellous takes over his well being, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as his hands work overtime--the occasional finger or thumb brushing against his slit--his technique becoming sloppy and uncoordinated, but it doesn't matter much cause it's working, you know.  
He's almost there.

"Oh my--" he sighs, voice low and raspy. "Oh Louis." he gasps as he spurts a sea of white onto his old t-shirt, hands slowing to a standstill, cock going limp at the sudden sensitivity and he breathes a sigh of relief, lays there for a while, basking in his high, chest moving up and down in between hurried breaths, heartbeat slowing to its normal rate.

It's always mind-blowing.  
Always amazing.

He grabs a few tissues off the bedside table, cleaning himself up gently and tossing it into his bin tucked into the dark corner of his room.

So recap: It's a Saturday afternoon and he's just wanked of to explicit  
thoughts of Louis.

Wonderful.

The clock ticks obnoxiously from the wall, Harry stretching his legs and cracking his knuckles, wondering how his life had gotten to this point.

It's an hour until he decides that these four walls aren't doing it for him, he feels like they are closing in on him--suffocating--so he decides to head to the park, dressing in a simple shirt the colour of Louis' eyes, pairing it with black jeans.

"Where you heading off to?" Gemma demands, catching him just as he's about to leave, fingers getting a good hold round his elbow.

"Out." He responds.

"Think you're so bloody enigmatical don't you" It's not a question. So Harry doesn't reply. "What's the truth then? You goin' to see him?" the latter hangs in the air like falling snowflakes, Gemma's eyes raking up and down his face like a terrorizing scanner.

"I don't know where he is." He answers.

"Well he lives next door, for a start." She says, the hint in her tone suggesting more. Harry not dwelling on it because there is no _more_. _It's_  
nothing.  
There _is_ nothing.  
_He_ is nothing.

"Yeah but..i know he wouldn't want to see me. He hates me Gem." He says wondering why Gemma is being so cruel as to force him to talk about him, when she knows how hung up over this he is.  
She fucking knows.

"Don't be daft, Harry. If anything he..have you told him? You need to tell him."

"I fucking told him!" his outburst makes her jolt, fingers detangling themselves from his arm, and falling limply at her side. "I told him and then I passed the fuck out. I told him everything Gemma. Everything. It was so--it was terrible."

"And so what did he do? What did the say? Tell me Harry." She persists.

"He's been avoiding me ever since." He finishes lamely. "I think I know when to take a hint."

"No." She shakes her head. "That can't be right--it can't. Are you sure that's the truth?"

"If it wasn't I'd be over there touching him, all over--everywhere. And I wouldn't get enough of him--I'd stay over night there just so I could be near him. I'd be with him if it wasn't true. But it is so." He trails off.

"I--"

"I'm going to the park." He says. "I need some fresh air."

"Are you sure you don't want me to accompany you?"

"I'm sure. I'll be fine." He shrugs.

"That's what you've been saying for the past month. No one's buying your bullshit."

"Gemma." He sighs.

"H?"

"Can I go now."

"Yeah you can, just..." She narrows her eyes at him. "Just be careful.

"I will." He says.

"We all love you, you know." She says thumbing at his collarbone gently.

"I know."

"Remember that."

"I will." He says again.

"Kay, I'll let you go now. See you later?" She says unsurely.

"You will." He confirms, pulling open the door and stepping out into the quickly diminishing sunshine. He tucks his hands in his pockets, sparing a glance at Louis' house as he walks by.  
No, he thinks looking away. No.

If it were up to him, he'd gladly get Louis' name tattooed to his heart--cause he knows no one else is going to fill that position any time soon. He knows that his heart belongs to Louis, even if he doesn't want it. It will always belong to him. And for once that isn't a scary concept. It's the hope of a long period of time--always.

He catches an elderly couple laughing happily together on one of the benches in the park, hands laced together in a way that has Harry grinning. The woman notices and raises an eyebrow before giving what Harry assumes is her husband, a kiss on the cheek.

"You look like a nice young man." She says smiling back. "Don't believe the nonsense you see everywhere these days. Love is eternal, keep that in your mind alright?"

Harry nods.

"Good. Now, you have a good day."

"You too madam. Both of you." He says back, glancing at the man who's also smiling.

They're both happy.  
Harry is happy for them. He's happy that they've found the other part that completes them--is glad that they have found their other half. He's happy for them.

He catches sight of the swing that Louis had sat on ages and ages ago and walks up to it hesitantly, almost afraid of all the memories it contained.

I don't want you to kiss me.

Bit of a contradiction, cause a few minutes later they had been doing exactly that.

Memories of Louis snapping at him out of jealousy to him snapping at him to just fuck him, swarm his mind. He remembers the two of them snogging shamelessly, Louis' breath and his own entwined as he had told Louis to let go. Louis was so needy yet so demanding.  
And Harry had loved that. Harry had loved everything about Louis at that point, he just hadn't been in love with him.

He smiles to himself, lids shutting as he tries to re-enact the full scene. It hurts but he needs it.  
Craves it.

The sun will go down soon, and Harry decides that he'll leave then. He can't stay here for too long. Too much and he just can't. Can't even.

He sits down on the swing, holding in a shiver even though it isn't cold. His hands clasp the metal and he starts to swing, legs kicking the dirt beneath him.

Swing closer to the sun.

It's impossible but it's something. So now each time his feet get closer to the ground he pushes up.  
Higher.  
Higher.  
Close.  
But not close enough.

His eyes are still shut not wanting harsh sun beams to blind him. It sort of feels like he's flying, soaring even. It's a nice feeling. It's a few minutes of not thinking about him and he even feels normal for a while.  
It hurts when he thinks of Louis, but maybe Harry kind of likes the pain.

He feels like he's away from every bad thing that's wrong with his life and up here in the air he feels like he can just forget. For a moment at least.

Pack up your troubles in an old kit bag and smile, smile, smile.

Harry doesn't smile. But the crease on his forehead smoothes out a little.

He's doing okay.

"Harry!"

His eyes flick open quickly, snapping out of his trance as he searches for the voice, not knowing what to feel when he catches sight of Phoebe, the usual epitome of happiness planted onto her face.

"You're going really high!" She comments, eyes widening comically.

"Yeah I guess." he says.

He swings a few more times enjoying how impressed Phoebe looks, every time his leg kicks one of the tree branches.

"Can you come down please?" she asks.

"Sure." he refrains himself from swinging any higher, feet skidding along the grass in order to try and slow down. When it's stopped completely, Phoebe climbs up onto his lap, burying her head between the nape of his neck and his right shoulder as if they haven't seen each other for months.

"You always smell really nice." She sighs, proving her point by breathing in deeply. "Like all of my favourite things."

"And you always look really pretty. " he says back. "going to grow up to be a right princess."

"Do you really think so?" she wonders, her voice laced with doubt.

"I know so." He mumbles into her neck, heartbeat quickening as he catches a scent of Louis.

"How?"

"You ask way too many questions." He chuckles.

Just like your brother. 

"So did you come here alone?" He asks.

She shakes her head, pulling her mouth into a pout. "Louis had to follow me because apparently I'm not big enough."

Louis' here.

"That's ridiculous!" He says feigning shock to cover up the fact that his heart is practically thumping out of his chest because holyholyLouisishere.

"I know right!" She agrees putting out her hand for a high five which Harry gladly accepts. "See, you get me Harry. And you're cute too."

"Right." He says laughing. "Where's Louis then?"

"I ran away from him because we were having an argument."

"What were you arguing about?" Harry asks softly.

"Well basically, I was playing on the seesaw and when I went up I saw the green trees and it reminded me of you, because you have green eyes right?" Harry nods. "And you haven't been round often, so I asked Louis why that is and he went from really happy to really sad and started yelling about how it was none of my business and something about me never mentioning your name again and I just--ugh I hate him." She says.

"No you don't." Harry says immediately.

"But I do!!" She protests and then Harry is grabbing her and tickling her underarms, smirking as she lets out bursts of giggles, squealing as she begs him to stop.

"Do you hate him now?" He says fingers twisting and curving each time heading for a different angle.

"No! no! I love him! Stooop!" she says between high pitched giggles.

"That's what I like to hear." he says flashing a small smile.

"Phebs, I swear to God if you've gone missi--" Louis pauses mid sentence as he catches sight of them, his eyes flickering up to Harry for only a second before they land back on Phoebe. He opens his arms wide as Phoebe runs into them, Louis planting a chaste kiss to the top of her head. "Don't ever do that again, please don't ever do that again. I was so fuc--so very worried. Please don't leave me like that again, Phoebe. I'm sorry about earlier as well. Forgive me?"

"No, you need to forgive me. I was the one that had brought it up in the first place--it's my fault."

"Okay, tell you what lets both forgive each other, how about that yeah?"

"Yeah." Phoebe nods. "Can I go play on the roundabout now?"

"Yeah just uh---"

"You can chat with Harry!" She says excitedly before running off, small little feet carrying her towards her destination.

Louis glances at him again, Harry staring steadily back, suddenly shy in his presence. "Hi." Louis says.

"Hey." Harry breathes, eyes still locked resolutely with blue ones. He isn't sure how to go about this--what to do with hands or whatever, or like whether to say everything he's feeling or keep it bottled up. Louis takes a seat next to him on the swing and that somehow makes it worse because now they're so close yet so fucking far.

"Louis I--"

"Shut up." Louis says softly. "I know what you're going to say."

"okay." Harry says.

"and me too."

His heart thuds, wanting to believe the unbelievable.

"What?" He manages to say.

"Nothing." Louis says after a long pause and Harry thinks nonono because Louis had said something. Louis had sort of said--but maybe not. It's too good to be true.

"Please, Louis." Harry begs, because if it's true then--

"Why? So you can break my heart again? Because its not fucking ideal, Harry."

"I would never." Harrys voice almost breaks. "Never again. I promise."

"Promises were made to be broken." Louis says stubbornly and Harry just wants to kiss him.

"Fuck no." Harry says reaching across the distance between them to grab his hand, significantly smaller and just so so soft and he can see Louis staring down at their hands currently laced like intricate patterns of an exorbitant necklace.

 Harry's fingers search ardently for the gaps between Louis' own. "This okay?" he asks, trying not to let a grin break out on his face from how warm and bubbly he's feeling.

Louis nods slowly. "I just don't want to get hurt."

"You won't." Harry says, carving patterns with his index finger onto Louis' chin, never breaking eye contact. "You won't. I'm so in love with you baby, you have no idea." Harry presses his head against Louis' admiring how beautiful Louis is close up. He brushes their noses together, the friction sending his heart into overdrive.  
This is where he needs to be.  
 "No fucking idea what you do to me." He lifts up their joined hands pressing it against his heart, watching Louis track the motion a small smile making it's way onto his face. "This is yours for as long as you want it."

"How cliché." Louis whispers.

"You're beautiful." Harry responds.

"Please don't hurt me Harry." Louis tells him, voice sweet and innocent. " I don't think I'd be able to handle it."

When Harry kisses him it's so very different from their other kisses because now they both know how they feel about each other.  
And it's love.  
And it's mutual.  
And Harry's never been more happier. Has never grinned more widely.  He takes his time knowing that he'll have the whole of tomorrow to kiss him. And every day after.  
Their tongues working at snails pace drinking each other up, Louis bringing a finger to twirl around one of Harry's askew curls.

It's so right.

They pull apart at last, both of their smiles dopey whenever they catch the other looking. And Harry has to try so fucking hard to control himself and not take Louis apart right there and then.

Phoebe comes back demanding that they both hug her to which they abide, and she falls asleep a few minutes later, both of them grinning at each other over Phoebe's brown locks.

Harry wants to kiss Louis again and again and againagainagain until he can barely breathe because now he can actually do that.

The sun goes down slowly, Harry watching it closely and when he glances to his left he sees Louis watching it too, smiling softly before squeezing Harry's hand in his.

I love you, harry thinks.  
And I maybe even wanna spend the rest of my life with you.

 It's what he doesn't say, though. Just leans his head against Louis' shoulder and smiles when he gets a kiss planted to the top of his head.

"By the way," he adds lazily. "I wanked off this morning, thinking about you."

Louis laughs and it sounds like all things good.  
And Louis is all things good.  
And Louis is Harry's now.  
So in some ways Harry is all things good too.

"You're my kryptonite." He says a few seconds later. "You're--"

"Shut up and let me kiss you." Louis says, the fond in his voice betraying him.

"Okay." Harry mutters against Louis' lips. "Okay can be our always."

"Seriously stop." yet the tone in his voice suggests anything but.

"Only if you say it."

Louis sighs, puffing his breath against Harry's cheek, sending goosebumps down his arm.  "okay, okay, okay."

"I'm the luckiest shit on earth." Harry replies.  
Because he's got Louis now. He feels moony, in a haze of love, his love right next to him grasping his hand.

Don't ever let it go.   
Stay with me for always.  
Forever.  
Please.

Harry keeps saying a lot of sappy shit until Louis kisses him, hard and firm.  Harry's words get mumbled up against the soft opening of Louis' parted lips, which is a bit of a shame as he'd wanted to tell Louis something about how bloody amazing he is, was going to start spouting shit like Shakespeare, but he decides that this is better. And so he allows his tongue to do the talking, running it against Louis', which tastes like strawberries and mint. He wants all of Louis, whatever he is willing to give. He wants it all.

And this.  
Is so perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always comments are always appreciated :) xx


	25. 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiiiiiiii :)

Chapter Twenty-Five

 

And so the perfectness continues, the days beclouding into a mix of soft kisses and declarations of love--well on Harry's part at least--and earnest dates to each others place or simply the short trek to the pizza shop down the road. It's a mixture of laughter and smiles and just happyhappiness albeit while Harry is happy and all, he can feel it as they head towards the edge of the cliff.   
It's inevitable, he realises. That's it there and no matter how hard they try to ignore it, try to block it out, it's near and it's coming.

Because nothing can be too perfect.

He snaps abruptly out of his thoughts as Louis evacuates the toilet, his smile rivaling the sun outside, eyes bright and shining like precious sapphires. 

"Hey." Harry greets fondly even though they literally just saw each other two minutes prior.

"Harold." Louis says in response, curling into the all too familiar space between Harry's legs, Harry sighing and pulling him closer,  enclosing his legs round Louis' waist and leaving it there as a sense of security.

"Lou." Harry breathes.

"Hm?"

"I love you a lot and--I just want you to remember, that no matter what sort of crazy shit happens, my love will always remain okay?."

"Okay." Louis shuffles a little, scooting back until his back is pressed up against Harry's broad chest. "Why'd you say that anyways?"

"Because...because I--well I don't know, just like, remember it, okay?" Harry says voice sounding a little strained in the expanse of tranquillity.   
He can feel it. They're approaching the end and he knows.   
He fucking knows.

Louis twists round, eyes shut, as he blindly searches for Harry's taste, lips already parted, and when their lips finally meet he moves a hand up to tug on Harry's curls, smiling absentmindedly at the moans that erupt from those sinful lips. "I love it when you make that sound." Louis mutters as Harry presses a kiss to his cheekbone.

I love it when you make that sound.

No I Love You then?

But.   
Harry decides not to voice his thoughts not wanting to force Louis to say it or anything.   
He'll say it when he's ready; when he feels like it.   
When he's ready.

So Harry will wait, will wait as long as forever just to hear those three treasured words uttered from Louis' lips.   
He will wait.

This won't last forever.

Harry chokes on air pulling away at the condescending voice, Louis managing to still look unfairly cute as he shoots him a baffled look with just a hint of amusement. "You alright Harry?"

"Yeah. Fine." He puffs. "Just feel a bit dehydrated...or something."

Or something.

"Do you want me to fetch you a glass of water?" Louis inquiries politely.

"Don't trouble yourself, I'm fine, babe. " Harry says, leaning back against perfectly proportioned pillows. He then smirks slowly as he runs a delicate hand up and down the length of Louis' spine, relishing in the way his whole body shudders. "Fuck, you're so hot."

Louis laughs, leaning into the touch slightly more and when Harry raises a hand to check the beat of Louis' heart,  he's surprised to see that it's practically gone into overdrive and his first thought is; they haven't done anything to increase adrenaline so it must be him. He's making Louis' heart beat faster.   
   
"Louis, baby." Harry says taking Louis' smaller hand in his and placing it against his cheek loving how warm and safe it feels  

Louis stares at him, smiling a little as he allows every single fingertip to be given a touch of Harry's magic kisses. "Are you high on love or something?" Louis wonders.

"No." Harry answers. "I'm just high on you."

"Oh my God, you are so embarrassing." Louis giggles, trying to roll his eyes at the same time.

"Sure. Whatever." Harry says biting down on his bottom lip in an attempt to hide the peals of laughter threatening to escape from his lips. "Hey, so can I give you head?"

"Head." Louis repeats sceptically.

"You know what that means right?" Harry checks, letting out a sigh as Louis shakes his head.

"Lou can I give you a blow job?"

Louis flushes, the nape of his neck tinged with red. "I don't know."

"That's not even a proper answer, babe. Do you want me to or not?"

"Um no. I mean, not, like, yet. Sorry--I don't wanna like, disappoint you.."

"Hey, no. It's fine. I can wait--I will wait. Whenever you're ready, yeah?"

"Yeah." Louis nods, leaning his forehead against Harry's as they breathe in the same air. "You know, for some reason I prefer this Harry more than the one from ages ago. You're somehow more sweeter now." His voice laced with a tinge of sarcasm.

"Well." Harry begins. "Get used to this one because he's not going anywhere." Yet for some reason his voice feels tight and coarse; the words feeling like harsh lies against the tip of his tongue and he doesn't know why because--  
Because he will never hurt Louis again.

Like, never.

Right?

Why is he even questioning himself? He's known what it's like to lose the love of his life, knows what it's like to want someone who doesn't want you, knows how deep the pit of jealousy digs when he see's Louis with Luke.   
So there's no fucking way he'll let Louis slip away from his fingers this time.   
No fucking way.

However the hesitation remains, still nipping at his skin and burying itself deep beneath the light hairs that lay there.

Perfect never lasts forever.

"I'm glad to know." Louis says sincerely, flashing a clean cut smile. "Really glad."

"Yeah." Harry says gulping, his knees feeling weak for no reason. "Sure." and then, "Kiss me please."

And so Louis does just that, a timid brush of lips--Louis smiling into the kiss while Harry tries to hold back a grimace.

  
***

  
It's supposed to be summer, yet the cold resembles that of winter as the wind lashes out at his skin, hair askew obscuring the amazing view of Louis laughing happily at one of Gemma's jokes.

Cherish these days, cherish these moments. Their love belongs on the movie screens, but Harry is sure that once it ends there will never be a sequel.   
A factual actuality that maybe once would have broken his heart but now just hits the surface in a quiet sort of knowing.

It's too good to be true.   
Louis accepting him back into his life is too good to be true.   
Harry does not deserve him, but Louis is willing to take a chance and give his heart to Harry as long as he doesn't break it this time.

Harry promised. He'd promised that he wouldn't.   
Never again.   
And albeit promises are meant to be broken, Harry had wanted to contradict the outrageous statement.   
Had wanted to.....And he still wants to. He wants to be everything that Louis wants and everything that he needs but knows that he can't possibly achieve either. Louis needs someone steady, someone to lean on, someone to take care of him.   
And while Harry has no trouble saying those things, carrying out those actions is much more complicated. He knows he can't, he knows he's too fucked up and whatever.   
He----

"You're going to bump into that tree if you don't watch your step." The sound of Gemma's reprimanding tone comes floating across to him via sound waves. Harry glancing up upon instinct, nodding in a way of thanks before stepping promptly away from the oncoming tree, ignoring Louis' concerned glance and takes in his surroundings for the first time.

He can't remember who had suggested the walk as a way of 'catching up'--Gemma, most likely--but he decides that he hates it and would rather stay in his room moping in isolation.   
He hates pretending to be happy when he's obviously not, hates having to reassure Louis with quick smiles so that he doesn't think the reason is him, hates meeting Gemma's unwavering gaze as she puts all the pieces together. 

"You okay, Hazza?" Comes Louis' soft voice next, Harry realising that he's right next to him now staring at him openly with brilliant blue eyes.

He wants to say that he's fine, or even crack a joke or something.. to relieve the unspoken tension that lays quietly around them.

But he's just tired, you know.

"You asked me the exact same question two minutes ago and my answer was the same as the last six times." He says, wincing inwardly at how coarse and blunt his words sound.

Louis blinks at him, frowning slightly and Harry wants to apologise, maybe even give him a quick peck to his cheek or simply just lace their fingers together, and smile whenever Louis does.   
He does neither of aforementioned things instead choosing to up his pace, the distance carrying him away from Louis and his beautiful smile, Harry choosing to breathe deeply as he hears his name called briefly, feigning oblivious. 

He's such a bad person.   
Louis deserves a good one.

I'm not enough for him.

His feet carry him over broken twigs and dead woodlice, and he prays that his legs don't fail him as he heads in the direction of home. As he heads in the direction of comforting bed sheets and familiar duvets.

He doesn't glance back thinking it's better this way, cause he knows that if he looks back he'll go running into Louis' arms; he'll go running back to everything he's ever wanted and more.

He knows that Louis will trust him completely if he turns back and mutters a few incoherent apologies.

Louis is too good for him.   
Harry should leave him alone.

Everything was better that way...everything was better before they got into this mess. It was better when Harry loved good fucks and loathed the stuck up brat.

It's a funny game, life is.   
Harry isn't laughing anymore.

He's straight faced and on the brink of crying by the time he reaches his house, slotting the key right into the lock, sighing as it opens and the smell of home comes rushing into his veins.

But there's something else too.

Something that smells vaguely like sweat and sex and all things sinful. His jaw sets as he tries to convince himself that there's no way....there's no way that--

He heads up the stairs, treading carefully, despising the stupid creak that comes with the action.

He freezes as he gets to the landing, audible sounds now out-powering the strong scent. His heart drops to the pit of his stomach silently as he trudges towards his room and allows his sobs to roam free quietly, hand gripping onto the right side of his pillow as it anchors him to reality.

The harsh wind rattles the window panes--the embodiment of everything he's feeling right now.

The sounds of his mother having sex down the corridor over washing everything.   
What happened to the 'you kids are all I'll ever need' speech?

Why is she doing this?   
Why is she--

He squirms uncomfortably, managing to bury his head under his pillow just as the sound of his mother hitting her inevitable orgasm spreads like wildfire through the house.   
It's disgusting, is what it is.

It also means that he's not enough. He's not enough for his mum, he'll never be enough.   
But this he already knew.

To say that the pain stops would be a complete lie because it doesn't, in fact it worsens, beginning in his head and ending with his heart.   
He's a fuck up of some sorts.

His fingers claw up to his curls and he tugs, tugs hard hoping to ease the pain. He feels his scalp yell at him to stop but he doesn't.   
Can't.

He's in love with the pain and this...this is what he deserves.

He falls asleep just as the sun rises in the west, casting a hazy glow of sunbeams across the bleak floorboards, the last thing Harry seeing is yellow before his eyelids flutter.

***

  
 School rolls around the next day, Harry finally lifting his arse from his warm bed just before eight am and heading to the bathroom to have a shower, turning the pressure up and relishing in the way the sharp droplets thunder against his back in a menacing manner.

You get what you give.   
So take it.

Harry doesn't flinch.

He dresses quicker than usual, throwing on his trademark white shirt with his black skinny jeans, pairing it with Jordan's and then heads out hoping not to run into Louis.

It's a little less cold that day but nevertheless the breeze is still there, fanning his hair out behind him--still stinging from last night's deed.

He makes it in record time to the building heading straight to the gents first, the porcelain mirror doing nothing to enhance his appearance and for the first time in weeks he takes a good look at himself--at the delicate bags under his eyes, the almost prominent frown on his forehead, his lips look slightly pale and ghastly under the harsh florescent lights.

So he's not looking too good. The green in his eyes are more turquoise now, if anything, and his dimples are fading, he realises--most probably from lack of once infectious grins.

He's forgotten how to laugh; good thing too, because what he's about to do is--  
Its going to be tough.   
And it's going to hurt. A lot.   
But there's that saying which Harry once thought was flipping ridiculous but now,  sort of makes sense:

~If you love somebody set them free~

And Harry loves Louis an awful lot. But the two of them? It's totally impossible and albeit the thought that they could be is so entrancing and magical it just simply isn't --people like Harry don't end up with people like Louis, people like Harry don't deserve soft kisses and carefree laughs paired with beautiful lips and such a forgiving soul.

Not people like Harry.

These things never work out.

So Harry might as well save the trouble of heartbreaks and longing glances and just end this thing now before they both crash and burn.

This is better.

Okay, is what he thinks as his vision becomes blurry, salty tears threatening to emerge from the surface--Harry not allowing them to.

By the time it reaches lunch Harry feels sick; both mentally and physically, having not been able to pay attention in science, his heart starting to ache already. And so he reminds himself that he needs to do this for Louis, he reminds himself that the beauteous boy has suffered enough and that by doing this he's restricting anymore possible heartache.

Breathe Slow.   
So he does and tries not to forget it; cause there's nothing worse than ending it with someone you love. But it's even worse hurting said person whom you're in love with.   
And so.

"Harry?"

"Yeah." he answers quietly, snapping out of his revered, kaleidoscopic thoughts and glancing up only to be met with royal blue eyes, that look overwhelmingly like Louis', and a bob of sandy-blonde locks as Taylor strolls lazily towards him oozing poise and everything Harry isn't feeling right now. He allows her to entwine their fingers gulping down something like discomfort.

These arms weren't made for holding you.

"You look so good in those jeans." She compliments, smiling coyly. "Almost too good." And with that she squeezes his hand lightly and Harry wonders what that means but he thinks he already knows. "Where were you heading off to?"

"I don't know." He says truthfully, shuffling the soles of his feet against the cold hard ground and trying not to squirm. Their hands don't fit together properly; it just doesn't feel right.

"Care to join me?" She flashes another pristine smile, nudging her shoulder carefully against his own. Harry wants to shove her away and bury a hole deep beneath the cracks in the pavements. But he doesn't because that's--no.

"Yeah, alright." He agrees and follows her blindly towards the canteen ignoring the obnoxious exaggerated giggles that escape from her ruby red lips as she chats non-stop about stuff he couldn't really give a shit for.

And no, she has not let his hand slip from her grasp.

Eyebrows raise towards the glorious heavens above as they shuffle past, the query written clearly in the hue of their irises. Harry does not care. Harry is also a liar, but that's--that's whatever.

The canteen is crowded as usual and their entourage is invading each others territory--as per usual--legs ghosting each others own. Niall lets out a boisterous laugh at something, presumably, Josh had mentioned, all the while Harry feeling his guts churn.   
But then, "Louis, hey." and it's the unmistakable rasp of Jade's voice in his wake and he winces as his heart threatens to leap out of his throat. He refuses to look instead opting for dragging Taylor towards their table, resisting the urge to roll his eyes as she blushes and meanwhile the unwavering gaze of cerulean burns a colossal sized hole into the bottom of his spine.   
So everything is awesome really.  
Awesome and a bit too much. The table falls to a revered silence as Harry takes his seat, Taylor not too far away.  
Why is she so close?

"Styles." Leigh-Anne greets haughtily, eyes piercing into his own, trying to decipher his soul. Well, at least that what it feels like.

"Hey." He replies, feet tapping out an unsteady rhythm against the floorboards. "Everything alright?"

"Everything's perfect." She says and there's a momentary silence save for quiet stares trying to outdo one another, Harry reluctantly averts his eyes towards the floor. The clock ticks steadily in the background and somewhere beneath the commotion he makes out Louis' soft tone followed by the slow rumble of Liam's.

LouisLouisLouis.

Get the fuck over him you twat.

Harry gulps. This is harder than he anticipated. It's so bloody complicated yet so fucking easy at the same time. It should be so simple just to walk over there and embrace his presence and exchange enamored glances discreetly over expired food and the watchful eye of Luke Hemmings. It should be so simple to go over there and act as if all this shit never happened, it should be as simple to just forget. But it's not, it's so hard because Harry is trying to fall out of love with Louis--for his own good--is trying to restrict his heartbeat rate from going a million times per second when he feels Louis glance at him. It's hard because Louis is his boyfriend for fucks sake and boyfriends don't act like this towards each other. He breathes. And remembers. That Louis is better than him. Louis deserves better than him. Louis deserves the whole fucking world. Harry isn't sure if he can provide that anymore.

This isn't working. Why isn't this working?

"Taylor." He breathes lowly, heart thundering against his ribcage.

"Hmm?" She inquiries.

Harry answers her with a kiss. There's nothing delicate about it at all; harry needs a distraction and Taylor's a pretty blonde so it works out well for the both of them. Harry feels nothing as Taylor hums delightfully into his mouth, he feels nothing as she brings a hand to entwine with his curls, feels nothing as their tongues brush aggressively.   
Harry feels nothing.

He pulls away abruptly startling Taylor before wiping away the abhorrent hidden traces of her lipstick that stain his lips.

People stare.   
Harry ignores everything. Everything except for the petite figure escaping to the comfort of the realms of sunshine and blue coloured skies dotted with ivory clouds. It's beautiful outside, maybe Louis just wants to escape to the beauty awaiting him out there. He knows that he shouldn't, knows all too well with his lungs gasping for air paired with the reprimanding tone that flows from his wit, his heart threatening to burst with want and Harry really wants to listen to his brain but his heart ends up luring him in the wrong direction.

And so Harry follows, keeping mind to place one foot in front of the other, every step feeling like torture as he nears Louis, as he nears the boy he's felt everything for; from hate to love, from love to lust, from lust to truth and he---

"Harry." Louis says softly sounding so fucking broken, the cracks in his voice floating above the surface, something more than hurt displayed in his clear blue eyes, hands fiddling nervously with each other. "'Always'?"

The promise.

"Promises are meant to be broken, bab--Louis. " he curses at the slip up. Harry takes a hesitant step back watching Louis shake his head slowly, eyes now planted towards the ground.

"I don't even know what to say." He whispers. "I thought we were together--I, I thought you loved me."

I do.   
Just--

"You lied to me, Harry." Louis continues, voice breaking with every syllable. "I trusted you and--is this some game to you, Harry? Is my heart some fucking game to you? I thought everything was ok between us and I just--I don't understand Harry, what did I do wrong? Tell me what I did wrong."

Harry's speeches for a few unbearable seconds, the tension ticking like a time bomb between them, he wonders when it's going to explode. Only yesterday Louis had been in his arms and now...and now?

"We don't belong together." Harry begins. "We don't Louis. I mean you're--" perfect. beautiful. intelligent. forgiving. kind. patient. amazing. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I don't ever want to let you, but I might hurt you again baby, and I don't want to take that risk. "And I'm--" stupid. dumb. imperfect. Fucked up.  I'm not worthy of you and what you have to give. I'm not worth it, baby. So we can't do this--we can't work. "Love isn't everlasting, Louis." He ends pathetically.

"Really huh?" Louis strides forward, placing a dainty hand firmly against the expanse of Harry's heart, only a thin layer of clothing separating the intimate touch. And they're so close now, breathing in each others air steadily, Harry's gaze entranced with how Louis' eyelashes graze the top of his cheekbones as his eyes flutter. "I thought this was mine for as long as I wanted it. I thought...." He trails off, taking a deep breath before fisting Harry's shirt and pulling him closer and unsurprisingly his heart beats pick up pace in frequency, his skin tingling in that obnoxiously familiar way.

Harry eyes him carefully, breath hitching as Louis glances up at him and Harry feels like he's staring out into the ocean from the overwhelming blue, the overwhelming everything. He's falling again. This isn't how it was supposed to go and then without any transition Louis teeters to the tips of his toes, fingers dancing their way under Harry's shirt as his fingertips skim across the rock hard of his stomach, Harry trying and failing not to shiver under his touch. Only Louis can make him feel like this. Only Louis can....only Louis.

"You thought a lot of things." He says then just as Louis' warm breath ghosts against his mouth, evaporating into nothing and now its just Louis. All he can see is Louis. "You thought a lot of things, Louis." He repeats tone firmer this time, trying to bite down a whimper as fingertips graze his nipples and just..fuck. His lids flicker shut as Louis' twists the skin in a teasing manner, teeth finding his collarbone and---love bite. Harry leans into the touch absentmindedly, wondering how it's capable to feel so good yet feel so bad, wondering how Louis' lips would feel elsewhere.   
Louis is giving him everything.   
Everything Harry can't return.

It's enough to snap him out of his stupor, jerking rigidly away from the boy who had unintentionally borrowed his heart for a lifetime. "Don't you understand? I'm going to hurt you again!"

"You don't have to Harry...you don't need to hurt me. Don't you feel it? This." He says bringing their hands together as one and it feels so good that he just wants all of Louis pressed up against him just touchingtouchingtouching. "Tell me  I'm not the only one who feels it." And he isn't. Because Harry can feel it too, can feel the way he literally melts under Louis' touch, can feel it in the way butterflies threaten to invade his stomach; his heart being tugged in directions overwhelmed with the unmistakable emotion of love.   
It's what he doesn't say.

"Nothing." He murmurs softly--because hell, if he's going to pull the trigger he might as well soften the blow. "I feel nothing Louis. I'm not affected because it doesn't affect me--you don't affect me." He gulps down his macabre lies and tries to look away but he can't and it seems Louis can't either because--"I feel nothing--I never have, so just--move on, okay? Find someone who'll love you because..." He tightens his grip on Louis' hand for just a moment--just a moment is all he has. He needs to remember how gentle the pad of Louis' fingertips feel against his own--needs to savour this feeling. Just for a moment. "Because I never will."

It hurts. He see's Louis hurt. Everything hurts. Everything pains. Suddenly the world fades to to black and white as Louis lets Harry's hand go, their arms falling limply at their sides and somewhere above lighting strikes. Harry's never felt more devastated. His heart stilling limply momentarily.   
Everything hurts. Everything and Louis--Louis stares at him blue eyes fading away to a discoloured grey, Harry trying not to cry.

This is the end.

And he had foreseen this moment, of course he had, it just...hurt more than he could have ever began to comprehend. Something pricks sharply at his heart and he takes it with a pinch of salt, hanging his head. He can't face Louis right now--not right now. It's a hushed silence, the one's that feel like you're screaming when you breathe. So Harry breathes because he is screaming right now, everything he's ever wanted---gone with the ongoing wind.

And so likewise when he raises his head to whisper an unheard sorry the words dissolve on his tongue as he sees the emptiness in Louis' eyes. Drained, he looks drained and hurt and disappointed and sad and--his thrice gulp catches in his throat as he takes note of the moment Louis stops loving him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(. As always comments are appreciated! xx


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